Page 78 of To Ride the Wind

Gwen wasn’t hungry. Her stomach couldn’t possibly take any food given her emotional turmoil, but she didn’t want to be rude, so she accepted the fruit anyway.

Only once it was in her hand did she actually look at it properly and realize it wasn’t yellow but gold. Actual gold. The metal. It wasn’t a fruit at all but a valuable, and amazingly light, treasure.

She looked up. “I can’t possibly take this!”

“Whyever not? You need it more than I do. And you never know when it might come in handy. Put it away now, there’s a dear.”

Gwen blinked, reminded strongly of the affectionate but iron-willed nature of her old nanny. One glance in the woman’s eyes told her there was no point arguing.

Bemused, she tucked the golden apple away in a pocket as instructed. The woman gave an approving nod and gazed out over the ocean.

“The castle east of the sun and west of the moon isn’t an easy target,” she said. “But I think you know that better than most.”

Gwen stared at her. She had read that princesses always had godmothers, and she had often wondered if she had one too. She suspected she had just found her.

The apple in her pocket grew heavier as she considered it in a new light.

“That place has already taken more from you than you should have had to give,” the godmother continued. “Do you want to be finished with it now? Do you want to walk away?”

She said the words with a look of such sympathy that Gwen nearly started crying again.

“Well?” the godmother asked when Gwen didn’t answer. “If I told you that you were free to walk away right now—that I would find someone else to take your place—would you choose to do it?”

“Someone else?” Gwen asked. “Someone better suited for the role?”

The silver-haired woman shrugged. “They might be. Or maybe they would be worse. That isn’t something I could say in advance. It would depend on both your decisions and theirs.”

Gwen rubbed at her head. She wasn’t sure if it was a real option being offered her or just a theoretical exercise, but it was incredibly tempting. She longed to let go of the guilt and walk away from everything.

But could she leave the guilt behind? Who else could fill her role? Who else knew her mother and all the corners of their palace? Who else was known to every member of the mountain kingdom as their heir? Gwen might be a poor heir, but she was the only one they had ever had. Would they accept someone else?

It was all too easy to think of some brave soul facing Queen Celandine, underestimating her, and being struck down. Gwen didn’t know if she could ever defeat her mother, but she didn’t know anyone else who could either.

How could she hand over something like that and walk away?

“No,” she said at last, the word heavy. “I wouldn’t.”

The godmother smiled as if unsurprised at her choice, although it had surprised Gwen.

“See, you aren’t weak,” the woman said. “You’re just still in the process of finding your strength—and learning who else’s strength you can rely on.”

“I turned my back and rode away from them all,” Gwen whispered.

“So?” the godmother said. “Are you going to ride back?”

“Yes.” Again Gwen was surprised by her own answer, this time by its strength and speed.

“In that case,” the godmother said, “you didn’t truly abandon them.”

She sighed, patting Gwen’s hand. “In the past you chose weakness because you thought you were weak. But that isn’t your fault. You were a child, and the person who should have protected you instead told you every day that you were weak. But now you are a woman, and you have a choice. You can choose to continue believing those words, or you can choose to reject them and believe the words of others instead. If you believe you’re capable of standing up to the queen, then you can begin to find the strength to do so.”

“Do you truly think that?” Gwen asked.

The godmother raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t you been listening? The relevant question is whether you believe it. You let the queen tell you who you are. Are you ready to listen to the people who love you instead?”

Gwen swallowed, thinking of what Easton had just said to her. Did she want to hear what others thought of her? Was there anyone who loved her?

“The High King didn’t make you princess of the mountain kingdom by mistake,” the godmother said. “You matter to him, and you matter to others.”

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