Page 106 of The Lucky One

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you scared of going back?”

“Stop!” I shot up from the couch. “I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Emily, it’s okay,” she said, setting down her notepad and holding out her hands in a placating gesture. “We don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to go back,” I whispered, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. “But I miss my mother.” I slumped back onto the couch. “I wish I could have her and Lucas here... maybe his girlfriend. But I don’t want to go back for anyone else.”

“Those are a lot of people in Germany you want to have in your life,” Caroline pointed out.

“Not as many people as I would miss moving back there.” I was sobbing now. “How could he drop me like this?”

“Who?” she asked quietly.

“Jon...” I reached for a tissue on the table. “Didn’t you figure that out by now? He’s the answer to all my issues. I might not have a drug problem anymore, but that’s because my addiction has shifted. To him!” I blew my nose, feeling like an idiot. I was finally admitting what Caroline knew right from the beginning. I had done exactly what my mother did: fall for the wrong man—and now, without him, I was afraid I could never be happy again.

“Jon, I know you’re home! Please open the door!”

I hammered against the door, which was always locked now.

No answer.

“Please, I’m just trying to understand what happened...” Giving up, I slid down the door to the ground and cried.

When I got out of his car that night, I really thought he would call me the next day. I thought he would tell me the truth, whatever it was, and we’d find a solution that would fulfill both of our needs. He had become such a good boyfriend, even better than Paul. He wrote me little notes, encouraged my passions, made me enjoy life so much that I was excited for every single day. And the sex...

Everything about him was just plain addictive.

But now I was without him, without the intimacy, the passion, the commitment. And I didn’t even know why.

I thought back to the time Richard had left my mom. She’d been broken for days—and then suddenly he was back, never explaining why he’d left. Mom became even more submissive, throwing all her energy into making him happy so he wouldn’t leave again. I had hated Richard since that day.

“Little German?”

I opened my eyes. Tim stood in front of me with grocery bags in his hands.

“Tim!” I jumped up, trembling on my feet. “Can you let me in? I need to speak to Jon.”

He sighed and put his key in the lock. “I really like you, Emily. Please do yourself a favor and walk away before it’s too late.”

He opened the door and slipped in, leaving me with more question marks than before.

At the Shields’ place, it was just how it used to be when I first moved in. On Sundays football brought us together; during the week we resumed our tradition of family time around the dinner table. Paul talked openly about his progress in therapy, and Zack invited his girlfriend over almost daily. She had long blond hair, cute little dimples and shared his love for haunted houses.

“When can Helen move in?” Zack asked Henry and Gena one night at dinner.

“Why would she do that?” Gena said, waving her fork dismissively.

“Emily moved in,” Zack said, pouting, and Helen chimed in, “Are you saying she’s better than me?” Laughter sparked around the table.

Two weeks later, it was Kiki who came over for dinner. The atmosphere shifted—not for me, but for Gena and Henry.

“So you two are—” Gena started.

“Dating. Yes, Mom.” Paul rolled his eyes.

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