Page 68 of Edge of Desire

“Avery, you’re no fun.”

“Maybe not. But my sister-in-law is my best friend and the love of Justin’s life. Not to mention she’s gorgeous. So, get back to work and take some drink orders already.”

“Damn, you need to get laid, girl,” Felicia huffed.

“That’s the damn truth,” I said under my breath.

I turned to Justin who’d been watching this whole exchange with undisguised amusement. “Boy, you really are protective, aren’t you? I liked that little extra touch about the best-friend thing. That was nice.”

“Well, I have to be protective of you, especially when it comes to that silicone-inflated thing. Did you see the lips on her? She looks like she got her mouth stuck on a commercial-grade vacuum cleaner. Dyson could use her for an advertisement. What’s up with these women and their lips these days? I don’t get it at all.”

“I’m with you on that. I guess they think it’s attractive or something.”

“Well, it looks ridiculous. Can’t they look in the mirror and see?”

Justin shook his head at me and laughed. “What time do you get off work?”

Glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was five o’clock. “An hour ago!” I laughed.“I was filling in for someone and I guess I lost track of time.”

“Do you want to go to dinner tonight?”

“Yeah! Do you want to see my super-sized studio apartment?”

“Sure!”

“I’d invite you to stay with me, but you’d have to sleep on a blow-up mattress.”

“Ava, I’m long past my blow-up days. I’m staying at The Chalet at Vail.”

“That’s right around the corner from here and from my super-sized studio apartment. Let me check out of here and we can go.”

It was so great to see Justin. I didn’t realize how much I had missed him until he and I started chatting. We stopped by my place so I could change. He loved it, or at least that’s what he said. It was hard not to love my studio though. It was decorated really cute, courtesy of yours truly, and was in the best location.

When I was ready, we headed over to Rosemary’s, one of the hottest places to eat. Justin had made reservations in hopes I could join him. After we were seated, the questions began rolling in.

“He came to Seattle.”

I simply nodded. There wasn’t anything to say, and I was afraid that if I did, that devastatingly brutal pain would surface and take over my life again. I inhaled deeply, pushing those thoughts aside. My hands were folded on the table in front of me and I stared at them, wondering how the bones of my fingers weren’t popping through my skin. Surely my skin must be extremely tough. Maybe my skin could teach my heart a thing or two.

Justin’s voice came to me again, softly, yet persistent. “You’re going to have to talk about it sometime, Ava. It won’t vanish into thin air. Trust me. I know.”

My lips were pulled so tightly between my teeth, I was sure they would be bruised come morning. My throat convulsed as I tried to swallow. After three tries, I succeeded.

“It’s, ah ... well, it’s not the easiest thing for me to talk about.”

“I understand.”

“I’m not sure you do.” My leg and foot began bouncing up and down and my hand went to my throat to ease my breathing, which had suddenly become quite difficult. The tears I had done an admirable job of holding back, blurred my vision as they overflowed my meager lids. Truth be told, I would’ve needed a gallon bucket to hold the mess of liquid I was trying to force back. “I, um, it may be best not to talk about this here. It’s quite humiliating, you see.”

Justin reached out and took my hand in his. I wished to God he hadn’t done that. For some reason, the slightest gestures of kindness set me off toward an avalanche of emotional overload. I bolted. Staying in that booth, with all those happy faces around, just wasn’t going to work. As I dashed for the restroom, I didn’t see the waiter with the huge tray in his arms. As luck would have it, I crashed right into him and we both ended up on the floor, covered in all sorts of sauces and bits of delicacies. He immediately wanted to know if I was all right and I, on the other hand, instantly broke out in sobs. Waiters streamed in from all corners, surrounding us, cleaning up the debacle I had created. Someone assisted me to my feet and escorted me to the ladies’ room where I was handed towels and wipes to clean myself off.

Words of apology kept gushing out of my mouth, but the person helping me eyed me like I was nuts. Only I knew the truth. She thought I was upset about the food that was dripping off me. Justin was called to the restroom and the restaurant packaged up some food for us to carry home. We left and went back to my lovely studio, so I could cry my eyes out in the privacy of my own home.

“I didn’t know things were this bad, Ava. I’m sorry you’re going through this.” He tried to console me, but my shuddering cries of anguish only seemed to get worse. His arms wound around me, rocking me back and forth, and I gratefully accepted them.

After what seemed like forever, I asked him, “How long did it take for you to get past this awful part? Every time I feel like I’m turning the corner, I find myself in another one of these situations where I can’t seem to stop bawling my eyes out.”

“Forever. Time wasn’t my friend at all. Running helped. So did the music. When I ran, I turned the volume up as loud as I could stand it to drown out the sound of her voice.”

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