Page 84 of Edge of Desire

“Okay, Preston. Let’s have the talk. Here are my demands. They’re relatively few, but they’re deal breakers. So, if you’re unable to agree to them, now’s the time to speak up. Ready?” I asked.

“I am.”

“No lies ever. I don’t care what it is or what it has to do with. Never ever lie to me or I’ll walk.”

“Agreed. No lies. Ever. What’s next?”

“No matter what, I can’t accept your profession. I’m sorry. I would never normally ask this of someone, but your job is entirely too risky and stressful. I can’t handle not knowing if you’re alive or dead every single day.”

“Agreed. No more DEA.”

I wasn’t expecting that answer. “So, what will you do?”

“I’ll figure it out. What’s next on your list?”

“No more excuses for you being fucked up.”

He rubbed his scruff-covered face. “That’s a tough one.”

He looked so vulnerable, I wanted to cave. It was killing me not to take him into my arms and tell him everything would be fine, but I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. Preston had buried his issues and not faced them head-on and look what happened. They almost ruined his life. The time had come for him to boldly face what he’d endured and to conquer his fears of it. If we were ever going to have a healthy relationship, that’s what he’d have to do.

“I know it’s tough, but it’s nonnegotiable. You know I love you. Now it’s time for you to love yourself enough to do this. I’ll help in any way, but you need therapy. If you don’t get it, we won’t be together.” I took his hand and continued, “You have to face this head-on because you can’t let them win. Be strong and face them. Give them all a big fuck you.”

“I’m not sure ...”

“I’m not asking you to do it alone. I’ll be by your side, always, and there is help out there. But you have to be willing to take that step or you’ll never change.”

His eyes drooped and lost their sparkle. “I don’t know if I can talk about it to others.”

“You’re going to have to. Nonnegotiable, remember? You have to decide how important I am.”

“Avery, I want us more than anything.” He grabbed my hands and squeezed.

“Then you have your answer.”

He inhaled deeply. “I’ll need you for this.”

“I’m here and will always be here for you.”

He nodded, and his eyes, God his eyes, were filled with all sorts of things. Pain, love, insecurity, hope, everything he couldn’t put into words. Reaching out, I placed my palm against his cheek and said, “We’ll do this together and we’ll be better for it.”

“I hope I’m doing the right thing for you.”

“Well, that train’s left the station.” I kissed him. “I really love your pierced nipples,” I said as I played with them.

“Okay, let’s not get off topic here. Next,” he said, squeezing my hands again.

“Right. Vail. I want to live here and start a business.”

“Done. Next.”

“Wait. What do you mean done? What about the cabin in Montana?”

“I’m selling it.”

“You will not. I love that place. It’s where we fell in love.”

“We’ll get a place here.”