Page 85 of Edge of Desire

“It won’t be the same.” I sighed.

Preston looked at me, his gaze dark with something I couldn’t define. “Look, I loved you before we even got to the cabin, but I almost destroyed that love there. I don’t ever want to go back.”

“But you’re going to. And do you know why?”

He shook his head.

“Because that’s where the journey will end. You’ve been running from your demons too long. It’s time you face them, and when you have, you and I are going back to Montana. Together.”

He agreed to everything. Everything single thing on my list. We ordered in a huge breakfast and were finishing up, when he said, “So now it’s my turn.”

“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.

“You didn’t think this was going to be one-sided, did you?”

Well, duh, I kinda had. He laughed. Preston was a great mind reader.

“Okay, go on.”

“Tell me why you’re so self-conscious.”

I looked up at the ceiling. Like his issues, this was something I hated talking about. “Jeez, Preston, how many times do we have to go through this?”

“As many as it takes.”

“I just am.”

“Huh-uh. You know that’s not it.”

I groaned again. “I was always held to a higher standard. It’s a family thing. My brothers are smart and attractive. They’re the total package, you might say. I was supposed to be like that too.”

“And?”

“And I’m not.”

“Bullshit. You’re absolutely the total package. Beautiful with brains to go along with it.”

“To you, yes. To my mom, not so much. I mean she acted like it, but there was always that little critical thing going on. You know, ‘Avery, don’t do this.’ Or, ‘Avery, not like that.’ My hair was always too long, too short, too thin, too thick. My brothers never saw it because they got all the mama love. You know, it’s just different between guys and their mothers. My grandmother saw through it, and she would always whisper something really loving to me. That’s another reason why I wanted to use her name. The last time I saw her she told me I was awesome. She also said my mom was always commenting on how fat I was, but she thought I was perfect. That’s my grandmother for you. So, there you have it. Why I’m fucked up, I guess.”

He stared at me for the longest time without saying a word. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I blurted out, “You know, that’s what she would always do. Just stand there and look at me, not saying a word. That’s why I get so damn squirmy when you do the same thing.”

His arms pulled me against him before I could even finish. “Don’t ever mistake my looks for hers,” he whispered against my hair. “I’m just amazed at how perfectly adorable you are and that she would dare find fault with you.”

“You and Grams must be related. Like her, you always say the right things to me.”

“Avery, I’m not saying that to make you feel better. I’m giving you honesty from my heart.”

“I know and thank you.” I kissed him.

“So tell me about your old boyfriends,” he asked with a chuckle.

“Jeez, aren’t you nosy?” I laughed for a second, but then it died a fast death. “There isn’t much to tell. I hardly dated until after I left Harvard. Sure, I went out here and there, but I was always too busy with school. After I moved back to Charleston, things seemed okay, but then I realized guys wanted to date me because of who I was. That was always a huge disappointment. Going out with someone that you ended up liking and then hearing through your friends he was only after your money and family connections. Then my friends even drifted away after a while. Everyone always thinks being wealthy is great, but it’s not exactly been a fun ride for me.”

He looked at me with a heated expression. “People can suck sometimes. I hate you were treated like that.” He leaned close to snag a kiss. “I can assure you I don’t give a fuck about your family connections or your money. I have enough money of my own that I don’t need yours.”

That put a smile on my face. Suddenly I remembered the bracelet.

"Preston, do me a favor and bring me my jacket, please."

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