Page 17 of Colby's Lost Binky

“Not so much through the clothes or anything like that, but more the way you’re moving.”

“Huh.” He finished the cookie and took a drink of milk. “I hope she doesn’t notice.”

“Doubt it.” I filled a cup from the carafe and sat back to sip at it. Caffeine kept me awake, but I didn’t think I’d be going to bed anytime soon anyway. My patients would have to be patient with their doctor for once.

“Daddy thing.” He scooted back to sit on the couch properly, milk in one hand and jumbo oatmeal chocolate chip in the other. “It’s good to be here.”

“I am very glad you came. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Yes, we do. To start with, I am sorry to have been so ungrateful when you asked me to come with you to Chained.”

“I wouldn’t call it ungrateful, but can you explain to me why you don’t want to go? Do you not enjoy the club environment?”

“It’s not that.” He was looking away from me again.

“Colby, if we’re going to have a relationship—you do want that? I’d hate to think you were just in this to take advantage of me…”

“In bed?” He chuckled. “Well, you are a pretty hot daddy. But no, I also want more.”

“Then we need to really be open and honest with each other. Share what we hope to find with each other and make sure we are on the same page. Because if I fall any harder for you, it’s going to be very hard to recover.”

He looked up again, blinking hard. “You’re falling for me?”

“What did you think this was all about? Of course I’m falling for you. But if you’re on the fence about the daddy/little element, say so now.”

“I am 100 percent interested in being your little. Everything we’ve done together has been so good, but I don’t feel like I can really contribute until I find a full-time job and have a place of my own. Instability is unattractive.”

“Oh, Colby, you’re neither unstable nor unattractive. You are in transition, and you’ll get all those things solid. If you want to keep things casual between us while you do, I will understand. I’ll back off.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want you to back off. I care about you deeply, and I want to explore the daddy/little side of things together. But I don’t have the money for expensive meals or a Chained membership right now. And I don’t want you to always have to pay for everything we do. I am a professional who can pay my own way, soon. I hope.”

“I make a good living, and I like treating you to dinner. But I also never want you to feel like you are just taking. You give me so much just being together. Other things will fall into place if we’re honest with one another.”

He nodded. “So, for now, Chained is off the table. I just can’t afford membership at the moment, but when I can, we will revisit, okay?”

“I want you in my life in all aspects. Daddy/little and all the things we have been doing.”

“Then, if we are being open and honest, I really need to be little tonight.”

My heart beat harder. “Then let’s do that now.”

Chapter Thirteen

Colby

The first night when I went to his house with my onesie on, intending to be little, I ended up not being very little at all. And really, that was for the best. We had a lot to discuss, most all of it about me letting my feelings of inadequacy get in the way of exploring something that had the potential to be really good.

If you had told me even six months ago that I saw my career as a big part of who I was, I’d have called you delusional. A job was a job, and mine was fine, but hardly my identity. And that was still true, in a way. I was more wrapped up in who I thought getting taken advantage of by my daddy and then getting fired made me. And I didn’t like that guy, which meant, I needed to figure out a way to have my self-worth not be tied up in freaking capitalism, of all things.

Daddy and I talked about what we needed, and then I took off all my clothing with the exception of my onesie. It stayed. Had I asked him to, Barrister would’ve gladly helped me take off my shirt and jeans, etc., but this was our first time exploring this dynamic. Slow and steady was probably the best rate, at least for this crew.

I curled up on his lap and fell sound asleep, the emotions of it all wearing me out. When I woke in the morning, I was in his bed, my binky in my mouth, a small stuffie of a cat in my arms, and Daddy holding me close. More than anything, I wanted to stay there all day, but, unlike last time, I had to go to work. After a very quick breakfast, I was on my way back to the apartment with the promise of a little date in about a week.

But the next weekend, it was time for our little afternoon. I’d spent the week beyond excited. Every morning, I woke up and counted down how many sleeps until our date, and every night before I went to bed, I counted them again, you know, just in case I was wrong.

By the time date day finally arrived, I was beyond ready.

I still didn’t have all my little things—though, really, I was never going to have them again. It was the way of things, especially when those things included an asshole who decided to get on top of someone who was a thousand times better at…I don’t know…not being a piece of shit.

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