Page 16 of Colby's Lost Binky

I hung up the phone and went into the storeroom. I pulled out my suitcase, found my onesie, and put it on underneath my regular clothing. I left my sister a note and slipped out the door. With my binky and blankie combo in one hand, my car keys in the other, off to Daddy’s house.

Please don’t let this be a mistake. Things hadn’t gone well earlier, and I already did one thing to add tension by turning down his offer. It was time to fix shit and not break yet another thing.

If I didn’t sink into my little space soon, I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate on a darn thing. I needed this time to forget the world around me. I needed this daddy.

One baby step at a time.

Chapter Twelve

Barrister

The evening had started out so well, and Colby had even asked to go to the Roller-Diner again, preferably often. I had also had fun. It had been too many years since I’d been on wheels, and while I didn’t take the chance to skate backward, I thought with a little practice I might be able to do it again. Perhaps at another roller rink if there was one. I’d have to google and see. Best date so far, I thought. Even if it wasn’t daddy/little time, seeing him enjoy himself so much made it a win.

But not a win-win.

And as I drove home and replayed our evening in my mind, I wondered if I had rushed things. Sure, I needed to be a daddy, but couldn’t I have been patient? Gone with the flow? Just appreciated what we had so far?

But he’d been so adamant that he didn’t want to come with me to Chained. I hadn’t even had the chance to suggest we just go and be social if he wasn’t comfortable being little with me yet. Or ask if he’d prefer a more private setting.

My argument with myself grew more heated as I walked up to the door and unlocked it. Every fiber of my being demanded I get back in the car, drive to Colby’s sister’s house, and talk to him. Apologize for making him feel uncomfortable and ruining our evening.

But that would be interfering with his obvious desire to get away from me. I would have to wait and see if I hadn’t blown the whole thing. But we’d been so good together, in bed and out…

Locking the door behind me, I hung up my jacket and headed for the staircase. No matter how my personal life might be imploding, my patients had the right to expect a rested and alert doctor first thing in the morning.

It wasn’t terribly late, but I was extremely tired.

My phone buzzed in my pants pocket, and I was tempted to let it go to voice mail. But, once again, my duties as a doctor would not permit that. What if someone needed me? I retrieved the device and answered without looking at the screen. But the voice didn’t need identification

My heart melted. “Colby. Is everything all right?” I had hoped he’d call, but this was soon enough to alarm me. He asked to come over.

As if I would say no. I offered to pick him up, but he insisted on driving himself. For a second, I wondered if he was coming to end things, but I shook that off. Negative thinking only led to negative outcomes, as one of my old med school professors used to say.

Instead of going down that rabbit hole, I decided to make a pot of coffee and set out a plate of cookies. It was time we had a serious conversation about where we were and where we were going. Colby had first caught my attention as a little who had been relieved and overjoyed at the return of his blankie and the binky attached to it. Since then, we’d been together in every other way than daddy and little. Yes, we had things to discuss.

I was setting the coffee carafe on the tray when my doorbell rang. I carried the tray with me into the living room and set it on the coffee table on the way to let Colby in.

He was shifting from foot to foot on the porch, and I waved him into the house. He stepped inside and inhaled. “You made coffee.”

“Well, you said you can drink it any time of night.” I studied his downcast mien. “And there are home-baked cookies from another patient.”

“Yes. I can handle my caffeine.” He raised his gaze to meet mine. “But do you happen to have any milk?”

“Of course. Have a seat and I’ll bring you a glass.” I almost asked if he wanted a sippy cup, but that would be pushy again. This evening, he had come to me. I would allow him to tell me why.

“Thank you.” He sat on the edge of the couch, far tenser than I liked to see him in my home. Usually he seemed very comfortable here. But we’d been building that tension by not having the big conversation we needed to. “I may be here for a little while.”

Handing him a tall glass of ice-cold milk, I gestured to the cookies. “Still chocolate chip, but these also have oatmeal.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Why do people do that to a perfectly innocent cookie?” Still, he picked one up and dunked it in his milk. “They smell delicious.” Took a bite. “Okay, pretty good.”

“I know you didn’t come over here for cookies,” I gently urged. “I’m very glad to see you, but I think you had a reason.”

“I got home and needed to be little,” he said baldly. “But at my sister’s, it’s next to impossible. She is a good sport, and she knows I’m a little, but I don’t feel comfortable bopping around her house in a onesie.”

“You have one on now,” I said.

“It shows?”

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