Page 45 of Knot Forgotten

Four sets of eyes land on me as if I will really give my input on this subject. What I want to do is run. It is the only thing I really know. But there is also another real part of me that wants to shed every bit of clothing I just put on and see their reactions.

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but no words come out. Drawing in a steadying breath, I try again. My eyes travel over each of them.

Everything isn’t forgiven between us, but I do feel myself softening. How can I not? Knowing Blake and Cameron are trying. I still don’t know where Riley’s head is at, but if the way he is watching me as if I’m the last slice of cake and he can’t live without tasting me is any indication, I do know that last week wasn’t a fluke.

My heart lodges in my throat, and I clear it. It apparently thinks it’s a new home is no longer located in my chest. “It isn’t a secret that I’m attracted to all of you. And we have history. We all made promises we were unable to keep as teens. But we were kids back then, we didn’t know what we were saying, not really…I’m not going to hold any of you to them. Maybe we don’t have forever anymore, just an attraction that is burning me down to my soul. I’m okay with a fling.”

The words make me feel lightheaded at the lie. A fling? I don’t want a fling.

Matt stands up and crosses the space, his broad shoulders blocking out the rest of them. “Rinny, we have forever still if you want it. We want everything that comes with that, bonding, claiming marks, all of it.”

I meet his expressive hazel eyes, and I want to believe he is speaking for all of them, but I know better. Touching his arm, I say softly, “Matty, you can’t speak for them.”

“I’m not. Why do you think Cam wanted a plan of who would take your virginity?” His eyes bounce between mine, searching for something. “Because he knows that you deserve someone that will be gentle that first time. And I agree with him. I just don’t think that it is something that we should be planning now. It is a bit like putting the cart before the horse.”

I press my lips together; I’m not sure what to say. My stomach is doing acrobatics, flipping around like it’s being a paid star. Or working for a gold metal.

“He’s right,” Cam says, appearing next to him. Blake and Riley close in on the other side, blocking any form of escape. If I want to retreat, it will be in my room. “If my intention wasn’t clear this morning, I want to court you. A forever relationship, all of us, together, like it was supposed to be. I want to make things right. Do you want all of that? Our marks? The bonding?”

I pull in a shallow breath, catching all four of their musks at once. Sunlight, rain, ginger, and chocolate chip cookies. Shit, each of them do something to me I can’t even explain in words. But my body knows. The omega in me understands the pheromones in the air better than I do. If it weren’t for the lotion I lathered on after my shower, I’m sure vanilla cupcakes would be in the mix, too. Hell, if it was later in the day, lotion probably wouldn’t stop my perfume from making itself known.

‘We all want to court you,’ Riley signs. The look on his face makes me feel like I’m going to melt into a puddle on the floor at their feet.

“Rinny, there is something you should know first,” Blake says, pulling my gaze to his. “All of us are fucked up in some way. Some of us are just better at hiding it.”

The way his eyes shift to Matt tells me that he’s talking about him. I’ve already suspected they were all a little broken. And that my absence played a part for each of them in some way. Wouldn’t that make it my responsibility to help them heal?

I almost snort at my thoughts. Right. I’ll just be the omega that thinks she can fix her alphas. I’d rather just accept them how they are now, broken pieces and all.

My voice is tiny and quiet when I say, “I’m okay with a little fucked up, if you are. I want it all. Every single part.”

The blooming of their scents tell me their answer before each of them even says a word.

“But maybe we should leave the talk of virginity to another time. Or maybe we can ignore it altogether, and let things unfold how they are supposed to unfold,” I add.

“Maybe we should get that in writing,” Cam says, with a smile.

“I like the idea of it on paper,” Riley says.

Blake pokes his tongue into his cheek like he’s holding back what he wants to say.

“I can put that on paper. Don’t treat me like I’m breakable, I’m not porcelain. And I want your marks to ring my neck.”

“Cupcake, you might take those words back once you experience our brand of crazy,” Blake finally says.

And suddenly, I want to experience every second of their madness. The intrusive and impulsive thought has me swaying toward him, ready to see exactly what he has in store for me. He chuckles, swiping his tongue over his lower lip. Looking for all the world like he just waltzed off a K-pop drama and into my life.

“Careful what you say next, Rinny,” Cam says. I know by his tone alone that I’m walking a thin line, but hell, even going back into that supply room with him sounds like a good time.

My lips part on a breath, the words following sealing my fate. “I’m ready for it all.”

CHAPTER 23

Erin

The next morning, excitement fills my belly as I get dressed. The scent of bacon frying drifts beneath my door, and my stomach grumbles while my mouth waters. I haven’t had bacon in months. My aunt made it on special occasions, like holidays or for birthday breakfasts. She would buy the good kind at a specialty shop.

I crack open my door to the sound of the bacon sizzling in a pan and a bare-chested Cameron flipping them.

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