Page 38 of Knot Forgotten

Still, I carry them to our room, setting them on the table once I’m inside. I arrange them on the surface before stacking them and then arranging them again. My hands are shaking, and I know I’m still manic. I could take my medicine. I should take my meds. Instead, I keep shifting the treats around until finally I’m satisfied. Then I place the tiny jewelry box with the heart-shaped locket in front of everything.

A card. I didn’t get a card. I’m two seconds from running to the store when Cameron steps out of his room. He scratches at his bare chest, followed by his jaw as he takes in the table.

“You okay, Blake?” Concern deepens his already sleep-filled voice.

I swipe my tongue over my lip rings while nodding. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Dude, you have a black eye, and there is blood on your clothes. If that were the least of it, I might think you took a trip to the fight ring. But that,” he says, gesturing at the table full of stuff. “That is–”

“Not enough? Should I go get more? A card, I forgot a card.”

“Fuck, Blake. Did you take your medication?” He circles the table and opens the cabinet we keep medicine in.

“That isn’t what I need right now,” I say, tugging my fingers through my hair restlessly. What I need is to take care of Rinny. But I can’t say that out loud because Cam will know an episode is coming on. He’ll make me take my meds, and I’ll sleep. I can’t sleep until she knows I’m sorry. Really sorry.

“We can make it up to her, but you need to take your medication. Here, take this, I’ll start breakfast. She used to like pancakes right? We can make her some.” He hands me a pill and a bottle of water he grabs from the fridge, before pulling out a box of pancake mix and a bowl.

Watching him calms me a little, and I sink into the chair as he pours an unmeasured amount of the mix into a bowl and adds an equally unmeasured amount of water, and a dash of vanilla; that fills the small area with the scent of Erin. He likes to cook, so I’m sure cooking for Rinny will soothe him, too.

CHAPTER 19

Erin

The comforting scent of fresh food being cooked tugs me out of sleep. I inhale deeply as I open my eyes. My stomach rumbles, and I stretch before slipping out of bed.

I step out of my room to a sight I never thought I’d see. Cameron, bare from the waist up, a spatula in his hand, as he flips a pancake effortlessly. Blake is at the table, an open bottle of water sitting next to him, and a table full of stuff. My gaze runs over the array of things, and my stomach flips over.

Every single item is something I loved as a kid: Gummy bears, Snickers, Cheez-It, Goldfish. Of course it is all junk food, and I wonder if a container of my favorite ice cream is in the freezer. It is over the top, and I know without either of them saying anything that it is for me.

The guys haven’t noticed me yet, so I observe them freely. Cameron’s hair is a mess, as if he woke up and started cooking right away. While Blake looks as if he hasn’t slept. A dark purple bruise circles his right eye, and he looks like hell chewed him up and spit him out.

Cameron turns slightly to drop a pancake to the pile of done ones, and he catches sight of me. “Morning.” His lips tug up in a smile. “Apology pancakes,” he says, pointing at the plate with the spatula. “Help yourself.”

“Rin.” Blake shoots to his feet. His energy is off, I can feel it in the air as he pulls out the chair next to him for me. “I’ll get you a plate.”

My brow creases, but I sink into the seat he pulls out for me. He sets syrup, butter, and silverware down next to me, then piles a plate with four pancakes.

“What is all of this?” I ask as Blake perches on the edge of his chair.

“You don’t like it?” His face falls, and worry sets in. He isn’t acting like himself, not that I know him anymore, but this isn’t like the new or old him.

“You did all of this for me?” I ask softly. I’m not exactly sure what is happening, but it feels as if there is some sort of edge I’m walking.

“I–uh–yeah. I know it doesn’t make it better. But these were your favorites, and I’m sure that couldn’t have changed too much. If you like something else, I can get that too.”

I force a smile as concern tightens my chest. Glancing at Cam, I can see the same feeling reflected in his eyes as he watches his friend. I want to ask, but I don’t want to bring attention to the fact I know something is off.

“These are perfect, I haven’t had a Snickers in a long time.” My eyes catch on the jewelry box, and my heart rate picks up. I’m not sure what it is, but I know it is for me.

Blake, seeing where my attention stops, reaches for the box and hands it to me. “It isn’t much, just something I bought for you a long time ago.”

My palms feel clammy as I hold the tiny blue velvet box as if it is the most prized treasure ever. I slowly open it, revealing a heart pendant on a silver chain. My heart swells, and I can feel emotion welling up behind my eyes, wanting to fall down my face. Words escape me as I stare at the beautiful and thoughtful necklace.

“It opens,” he says.

Smiling up at him, I look back at the locket and pop it open to reveal a photo of the two of us taken with that silly tiny picture camera I got for my thirteenth birthday. Love is painted on each of our faces, and it makes my breath catch.

“Wow, it–”

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