Page 28 of Knot Forgotten

With that thought firmly in mind, I quickly brush my teeth and take a shower. Using the hand towel, I swipe the towel over the foggy mirror. The bite marks are a deep purple today, but there aren’t as many as I thought last night. Some didn’t bruise and faded already.

Two remain where they will be visible, and I finger them as I stare into the mirror. I can almost feel his mouth on me still. Hot and needy. Angry and violent. Not the kind of violence my dad had been a fan of, no. The violence Riley shared was arousing, and even now, a burst of lust flares in my belly.

I’m not sure I will be able to get him out of my system until I actually do fuck him. Which is problematic since he will probably keep his distance now.

Wrapping the towel around my body, I pick up my shower stuff and open the bathroom door. A cloud of steam joins me in the hallway, and Blake looks up from his guitar as I step out. Something flares in the depths of his gray eyes that part of me wants to examine closer. His gaze snags where the towel doesn’t close all the way, showing off my thigh up to part of my side.

“See something you like?” I tilt my head, using the same words he did that first morning. His nostrils flare like he is trying to pick up my scent. Too bad for him I lathered on the scent blocking lotion liberally this morning.

I dismiss him and whatever response he has. Cam is still at the table when I come back into the main living area. He lifts only his eyes when he hears me and freezes. Guess he didn’t expect me in a towel. His fingers curl around the pencil he’s holding, and I hear a snap before the pure smell of petrichor reaches me. His after the rain musk never failed to make my stomach flip, and now is no exception.

He doesn’t move a muscle as I pick up my pace and reach the relative safety of my room. I lean against the door once I have it shut, catching my breath. I did not expect that to be arousing. I’m not sure what I thought to accomplish by strutting basically naked in front of them, but it was not to create this need curling in my lower belly.

A quick glance at my phone tells me I’m running late, again. Story of my life. So I quickly dress, leaving my hair wet, knowing it will dry in the ringlets I’ve avoided over the last five years. Easier to stay hidden if your distinguishing trait is erased. Straight hair was my safety net for too long. It is time to reclaim myself. I don't hate the curls nearly as much as I used to.

The first step is letting the boys of my past go. Even as they cling to me.

Matty falls into step next to me, and my cheeks flush. Does he know I’ve kissed all of his best friends? My gaze drops to his lips, imagining planting one on him right here. But even though there are other ninth graders in full blown make out sessions against lockers, that isn’t me. It makes me uncomfortable even walking past my classmates so wrapped up in each other that they never notice the teacher coming to break them apart.

I look away from a pair as we pass them, then back to Matt.

“I’m not mad, you know,” he says. I can’t imagine him staying mad at anyone. It isn’t his style.

A soft smile pulls at my lips.

“This is what I meant, that this year was the year everything changes. We talked about it, the four of us, and Rinny—you’re it for us. We do it for each other; we don’t need anyone else.”

Butterflies unfurl in my stomach as I peek up at him. “Making decisions without me?”

He grins apologetically. “No, we were just hopeful you would feel the same way.”

I can’t help the responding smile that pulls on my lips. “I do, Matty. Forever. It will be the five of us against the world.”

I straighten up from tying my shoe and push the memory away. Our forever was a total of three days after that. I snort. I had been a baby with stars in my eyes and puppy love in my heart. The feelings were real in the moment, but there is no way they were the kind made up of forever because they would still want me back if they were.

CHAPTER 14

Erin

Life has a funny way of moving on when you let go. A week passes, no more taunting or teasing, no more intentionally pushing me for a reaction. But the one thing I’ve noticed most of all is Matt and his absence. Pair it with Riley playing the disappearing act any time I come into the dorm, and I feel like a raft lost at sea.

If Blake is still seeing Riana, he doesn’t bring her around, and I don’t run into them in the hallways on my way to class. Cameron either ignores me completely or silently watches me. There is no in-between. I can’t tell what is happening behind his clear blue eyes.

A sort of sadness came with the realization that I had clung to the memories of them to make it through the harshness life became. I built them up so grandly in my mind that facing reality feels as if I’ve broken my heart all over again.

No matter how many times I try to shut that night out of my mind, it comes back, seeping through the cracks in the wall around my heart.

I hit the floor hard. The stinging of my cheek is almost too much to bear before he yanks me up by my hair, snarling into my face words that don’t register through the ringing in my ears. But it is probably more of the same stuff he was spewing before. I’m a slut. I’m no good. He is going to make real good money off of me.

My mom sobs soundlessly on the floor near the fridge, and I blink away tears. My father shakes me, making it feel as though my brain is rattling inside my skull. His fingers dig relentlessly into my upper arms, causing me to cry out again.

He wants to hear the cries, but it pisses him off if I make a sound. It is how I earned the second slap that landed me on the floor before he yanked me to my feet again. My cheek feels like it has been cracked open, and I just want to curl up into a ball when he raises his fist and threatens to punch me. I block my face as if that will save me, trembling on my legs that are barely holding me upright.

Then blue and red lights flash through the front window and across the dark living room wall that I can see from where I am. Relief, pure and sweet, has my muscles going limp. Seconds later, police are pounding at the door. I collapse to the floor when my dad swears and goes to answer.

He is the picture of restraint as he speaks to the officer. You wouldn’t imagine that he was just choking the life out of my mom or hitting me so hard I couldn’t keep upright.

“No, sir, my wife and kid are already in bed,” he replies to something the officer asks. I’m afraid to make a noise and let them know I’m here, but I’m more afraid of what he will do if he gets them to leave.

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