Page 23 of Knot Forgotten

Erin

My world is muffled as I move through the motions of the day. I use my cellphone to record lectures, knowing that my attention isn’t on the here and now. Entering the Baldwin for a late lunch, I grab a tray and push it along the counter. Going for simple, I get a pita wrap sandwich and carrots with ranch.

It isn’t hard to find a seat this late. Still, I chose one in a far corner, away from most other students. Pulling out my current book, I flip it open to the bookmark and attempt to read. After scanning the same paragraph four times, I shove the plastic marker back into place and shut it almost violently.

“What did that book ever do to you?” Matt asks, startling me.

I let loose a yelp as I straighten in my seat. My cheeks heat as every eye lands on me and my overreaction.

“Mind if I join you?” He places his tray down across from me but doesn’t sit.

If he’s playing a game, I’m not sure what his angle is. And it isn’t like I can really avoid any of them. I shrug in response, and he must take it as a yes because he folds his large body into the small booth seat.

I take a small bite of my ham and swiss pita, if only so I don’t have to say anything.

“It makes sense,” he says.

“What?” I cover my mouth as I finish chewing. Talking with my mouth full isn’t a thing I normally do, but he caught me off guard.

“That day you ran into me and dropped all your stuff–”

“I ran into you?” I lift an eyebrow as I study him.

A smile lifts one side of his lips. He adjusts his sparkly headband over his curls and shifts in his seat.

“You’re right. When I ran into you… You felt familiar. Right away. Like my soul remembered you even if my eyes didn’t. And you do look different. Not as different with the curls today, which I like by the way. The guys…they are hurt right now. When you disappeared, all of us took a hit. Some in different ways.” He shrugs as if he is uncomfortable talking about it. “But those aren’t my stories to tell.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I don’t want the hope blooming in my chest to mean anything.

If this is part of a messed up game, Matt has me hook, line, and sinker. The proverbial Trojan horse. Because every single atom in my body yearns to have him close. All of them close. And he is actually being friendly, and sounding like he wants it, too.

“They will come around. I know them. And I won’t let them get too out of hand. I promise. Although, it might be rough for a little bit as we win them over.”

I drop my pita and cross my arms. “What if I don’t want to win anyone over? I didn’t come here to relive the past, Matt.”

His face falls. “I don’t believe you.” He shakes his head. “You knew the plan was to come here. Hell, if I’m being completely honest right now, I hoped you remembered and you’d come, too. Never in my wildest dreams did you ever share a room with us, though.”

He leans back and chuckles to himself. I glance around at the dining room because his words are making me feel things. Like hope. And hope is a dangerous thing to let myself feel. He taps his fingers along the table, and I focus on the rhythmic motion.

“They aren’t going to like you being nice to me.” I finger a carrot stick, even though my appetite fled the second he sat down.

“They’ll get used to it.”

“Cam said there are rules,” I add.

He throws his head back and laughs at the ceiling. His joy echoes around us. “Yeah. I know about the rules. But I also know that I won’t be breaking any because like I said before, they will come around.”

I hug myself. “What if it isn’t what I want, Matt?”

It is what I want. My stupid heart thinks it only beats for the four of them, and my libido has not been this active since I was a teen in a treehouse.

He sobers, watching me. “Rinny, you might have disappeared years ago, but I still know you. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t lie to me because I see you.”

He stands up abruptly, and I watch him with wide eyes. Then he slides into the booth next to me, boxing me in, and effectively blocking any escape I had. I scoot all the way against the wall as he turns his large body toward me, the dining room is no longer visible, which means I am no longer visible to the room.

“I know you feel it, too,” he says. “In here.” He taps my chest.

Tingles explode beneath his touch as he rests his fingers over my heart. It’s like an electric current jolting me into the present. I wet my lips as I glance at his, and he groans.

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