Page 22 of Knot Forgotten

First order of business for today is a stop at the admissions building. They have to have a new room for me by now. Luck turns in my favor when the dorm is empty when I exit the bathroom. My hair is already forming tight ringlets, since I left it to air dry instead of spending the time to dry and straighten it. The mornings don’t have that chill of fall yet, so I’ll be fine with damp hair.

Looping my fingers around the strap for my backpack, I pull it over my shoulder and lock the door on my way out. Hopefully today is the day I can try to put the past behind me, no matter how much it makes my heart ache with the thought.

My steps slow as Cameron pushes out of the admissions building, a smirk curling his lips as he spots me.

“I wouldn’t bother.” He gestures with his thumb to the door behind him. “It looks like you’re stuck with the ghosts of your past. And we plan to haunt your every waking moment.”

I press my lips into a thin line as anxiety blooms inside my chest. “They could still find me a room.”

He laughs. “No, Erin; no, they can’t. Or maybe I should say won’t.”

My stomach bottoms out. He did something to keep me in their dorm room. It’s obvious.

“What did you do?”

The corner of his mouth pulls up into a lopsided smile as his strides bring him closer. He stops in front of me, lifting a single wet curl from my shoulder. Attempting to knock his hand away, I glare up at him.

A breath huffs out of him like he wants to laugh again, and he shakes his head. “If you had shown up with these curls, there is no way you could have hidden in plain sight. Keep them. No more straightening your hair.” He gives the strand a tug and releases it. “See you soon, Rin.”

An anxiety attack clenches my chest. It's as if the world tightens around me, suffocating and constricting my every breath. My heart races erratically, beating a frantic rhythm that reverberates through my chest. A wave of dread washes over me, and my mind becomes a chaotic whirlwind of unsettling thoughts. This will be worse than them ignoring me. I know it will. They are going to play with my heart, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to resist them.

My hands tremble, fingers tingling with a numbness around the straps of my bag that spreads through my entire body. It's like being caught in a storm of irrational fears with no shelter in sight. Except these fears are so very real. The complete breaking of my heart this time is a real possibility.

Sucking in deep breaths, I take a small step toward the tree just off the sidewalk. My fingers land on the bark, grounding myself. Tree. I run my hand over the low leaves. Leaves. My chest starts to loosen as I continue to name the things in my immediate vicinity. Inhaling one final breath, I shut my eyes, and as I push it back out, I open them and feel halfway like myself.

Relief, sweet and pure, runs through me. A physical exhaustion has my muscles ready to sleep for another day. It might be time for a call with my therapist. I haven’t had a full blown attack in over a year.

Tucking a curl behind my ear, I glance around at the other students nearby as my cheeks heat. Did anyone witness me falling apart in the middle of the sidewalk? No one even glances my way, and I pull in another steadying breath. Sometimes, I’m grateful people are wrapped up in their cellphones or their own lives. It makes everyone else invisible, including me.

Straightening my shoulders, I turn back toward the admissions building. My emotions raw, feeling as if someone took a meat tenderizer to them and beat them until it hurt, I force my legs to carry me the rest of the way to the door.

The lady I’ve seen each time I’ve come in here sits behind her desk, typing away. When she catches sight of me, her face goes blank.

“Can I help you?”

“I wanted to check on the availability of a new dorm room again.” I hold myself up on the counter, waiting for her reply.

The corners of her mouth tilt down into a frown. “I’m sorry, honey, but we can’t move anyone until the new semester starts.”

“But—that isn’t what you said,” I say. My fingers curl around the edge of the yellow counter, my palms clammy.

She gives me a sympathetic look and presses her mouth into a tight line. Holding up an envelope, she half shrugs. “The notice just arrived.”

“I was put into a room with four alphas.” I know I sound high strung. It is because I am. “Four of them. I’m an omega.”

I release the counter from its death grip for a second before securing my fingers again.

“You are taking your pills right?” Concern deepens the lines in her forehead.

Heat blockers. Of course I am. “It’s one of the requirements of the school,” I reply.

“Good,” she says with a sigh of relief. “You will be fine. I’m sure the alphas will allow you your own space. And even though nests aren’t technically allowed, you could make the room your own.”

I stare at her, but I don’t see her. “Right.” The single word barely comes out around the lump in my throat. “I’ll be fine.”

I let go of the counter, feeling like I’m adrift at sea, waves crashing around me. I’ve been through worse. Haven’t I?

CHAPTER 11

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