Page 5 of Shattered Wings

She glances up at me, “Otay Mama.” Then she goes back to her game.

The only place that I could possibly find answers is in Jaxon’s computer room. I never go in there, but right now I don’t think I really have a choice. Opening the door, I inhale deeply. It smells just like Jax, mint and spice. My heart squeezes in my chest as memories assault me. Who knows what I’m about to find. Something tells me that it’s going to rock me to my core. I don’t have a good feeling about this, whatever this is.

Pulling the chair out from under the desk, I sit down as the buttery leather caresses my skin, and then power up the computer. I’m so nervous for what I could potentially find that my hands are shaking, fuck my whole body is shaking and my teeth are literally chattering. It feels like I’m about to get caught, like a kid stuck with their hand in the candy jar. Once the computer is powered on, I click on the internet tab. For shits and grins, I check the search history first. And fuck my life; what I see has me shocked beyond belief. There’s porn site after porn site listed. There’s even multiple sites that you have to pay to use. Is this why he quit touching me like he used to? Is he addicted to porn? Is he too scared to tell me what he wants? I’d be more than willing to try any of these positions. He’s the vanilla one, not me. But what about the MyBook app? Quickly exiting out of the history browser, I type MyBook into the search bar. His profile is already logged in. Looking at it, I can already tell that this one isn’t the same as the one I saw in the mechanic shop.

Being in the military, Jaxson has had so many different email addresses through the years. Some I don’t even recall. But there is one in particular that I do remember. It’s one that he was given around the time he was in AIT after basic training. Logging out of this freaking account, I clear out his normal email and enter the one that I remember. He’s had the same password for as long as I can remember, so I put that in. If you’re up to no good and are sneaking around or doing something that you should not be doing, there’s no way in hell you’d use the same password. I guess he’s a dumbass, or he wanted to get caught, because the password works.

Immediately, messages start coming through. What the fuck is this shit? Clicking on the first one that pops up, I start reading. Most of the messages are in Spanish, so I have to use Google Translate to figure out what they say. All those years ago, when I knew that something happened when he was in Colombia, I should have listened to myself. My gut told me that he screwed around, but now the proof was staring me right in the face. I am such a freaking idiot.

Juliana: ¿Vienes esta noche? Te extrañé anoche, papi. (Are you coming tonight? I missed you last night, daddy.”)

Jaxon: Joder, cariña. Tienes mi polla tan jodidamente dura. Déjame hacer una llamada y luego estaré allí. (Fuck, baby. You've got my cock so fucking hard. Let me make a call and then I'll be there.)

Pictures, fucking pictures! There’s pictures of the two of them together. WHAT THE FUCK! A sob catches in my throat. This can’t be happening to me. He’s always told me that he loved me. He swore it on the angels.

Juliana: te amo, papi. (I love you, daddy)

No…No…No…FUCKING NO! This can’t be happening.

Jaxon: Yo también te quiero, cariña. (I love you too, baby.)

There’s more, so much more. This can’t be happening to me. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, blurring my vision, as my life spirals. I thought he loved me. I thought he fucking loved me. Oh, I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was all lies, all of it. Our whole life together has been one fucking lie. Have I been a fucking joke to him this whole time? Just as I’m about to drown in tears, another message comes through.

Christina: You’re going to have to speak to me sooner or later, Jaxon. This problem isn’t going to go away.

Problem? What problem is she talking about?

Scrolling back up through the messages, I see that Christina has been messaging him for a while now, but he hasn’t been responding. Wait, oh my fucking god. This can’t be the same Christina that he went to AIT with, could it? Looking back at the messages, I see that they’ve spent a lot of time together, too. At times when he should have been out training, he was with her. He was with her instead of being home with me and his baby. The higher up I go in the messages, the more in detail they get. He’s been screwing her behind my back for years—fucking years. I can’t believe my eyes. He’s been screwing her since they were in AIT together. It’s no wonder why she was giving me dirty looks any time I went to visit Jax. But what has me scrolling back down quickly is even more shocking. I can’t believe my eyes.

Christina: Jaxon, I’ve been trying to call you. We need to talk about this. You can’t just run away when I tell you that I’m pregnant with your baby.

Pregnant? She’s pregnant? Not only was he cheating on me but he was doing it without protection too.

Jaxon: I told you to get rid of it. I have a family that I don’t plan on abandoning. You were a fucking mistake. Get rid of the baby and forget about me, Chris.

Christina: Don’t you dare say I was a mistake, Jaxon. I wasn’t a fucking mistake. If your wife would have been giving you what you needed at home you wouldn’t have come to me. Hell, you’ve been coming to me for years. Long before she was your little precious wife. You know she can’t fuck you like I do. I’ll tell her Jax. You think I won’t destroy your fucking life? Don’t tempt me.

Jaxon: Don’t say a fucking word about my wife. We’re done! This is over. Get it through your thick skull. Talk to my wife, say a damn word to her and you’re dead. You fucking hear me? You’re fucking dead.

Christina: We’ll never be over. I’m going to be the mother of your child. Karma is a bitch, Jax. You’ve fucked with the wrong woman for far too long.

Christina: Don’t ignore me, Jax. You won’t like the consequences.

Christina: JAXON, YOU BETTER MESSAGE ME BACK!

Christina: Can you keep your little Lia safe while you’re deployed? I know where she lives, Jax. You know I do since we fucked in the same bed you share with your pretty little wife. Don’t you wonder how those blue eyes she has would look if the life was drained out of her?

Christina: You fucked up, Jax. And now you’ll pay the price.

Holy fucking shit. She’s pregnant! Jax has been cheating on me for years, and not just with her. Is she the one who slit my tire? This bitch is crazy. No, she’s more than crazy. She is fucking psychotic. Who else knew that he was cheating on me? I’m a fool. I’m such a fucking fool. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest. The tears continue to fall. I have to keep it together for my baby girl. I can’t live like this, though. We were supposed to be together forever. What happened to us? The old Jax would have never hurt me this badly. And what am I supposed to do now? It’s not like I can pick up the phone or send him an email about what I’ve found out. I don’t want to distract him from his mission. That could end up with him dead, and I don’t want that. I’m at a loss right now. I need time to think. I need to talk to Lach. Oh my god, did Lach know? He’s been my best friend for years. If he knew and didn’t tell me, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him. Maybe he was trying to protect you, Lia. Think about that for just a minute. He’s always been here for you. That man would never intentionally hurt you.

Lachlan

(TWO WEEKS AGO)

For the past two weeks, all I’ve been able to think about is Ellie. When I sleep, my dreams are plagued by her. When she messaged me a few weeks ago about Jaxon, I didn’t know what to tell her. I didn’t want to break her heart or destroy her fucking soul. By telling her everything I knew, that’s exactly what would have happened. I just can’t take part in that. One day I’ll tell her the truth, the truth about everything, but that won’t be anytime soon.

Jaxon has been one of my best friends since we went through basic together. We’ve been through a lot. I just don’t agree with what he’s done to Ellie. He doesn’t deserve her. Yeah, because you deserve her. You always have. He’s treated her like shit for a very long time. Jax started fucking Christina during AIT. I tried to talk his dumbass out of it, but he wouldn’t listen. Ben had been in his ear goading him on, fucking Ben. Jax thinks that Ben is a true friend, but I don’t think that could be further from the truth. In my opinion, Ben wants Ellie for himself. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s wanted to fuck her since they met at our basic training graduation. Maybe he saw her at his house party all those years ago. Throughout the years, I’ve seen the not-so-subtle glances that he’s thrown in her direction when Jax wasn’t looking.

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