Page 6 of Shattered Wings

Thinking back on it, I could see the heated looks. Ben was always staring at her. There was a hunger in his eyes. He was jealous as fuck, and he wanted what Jax and Ellie had. He really wanted Jax to fuck up and get caught so he could steal his girl. But Jax had his blinders on to the whole situation. Ellie has always been Jaxon’s angel, but there’s been plenty of times that I just wanted her to be mine, a lifetime if I’m being honest with myself. She almost was once upon a time. I want her to be my little butterfly, free from her cage and the shackles that she’s been too innocent to see for most of her life.

Ben was my friend too, but over time, I began to see just how poisonous he really was. I saw how he bated Jax on more than one occasion. Bated him to do shit that once upon a time he’d never even consider. But we’re battle buddies, a family, so I kept my mouth shut. That’s something that I’ve come to regret over the years.

I am just ready to get the hell home. The need to make sure that Ellie is safe is eating at me. After she told me about the messages and the slit tire, I almost flipped the fuck out on Jax, but she didn’t want him to know. This is all his own damn fault and if something happens to Ellie or Blakely, I’m liable to kill him my own damn self. I’ve known about Christina, but I had no idea that he was screwing some other chick down in Colombia. I’ve told the idiot that he needs to stop.

When we found out that Ellie was pregnant, I thought that would be a game changer for him. That was a fucking joke. He amped up his shit even more. I know this because I spent even more time with Ellie back then. Jax was always gone, telling her he had training and shit, which was a fucking lie. I should have swooped in right then and there and took what was rightfully mine. What the fuck is wrong with him? He has had this perfect girl by his side for years and what’s he done? One step at a time, day by day, he’s destroyed her, while she unknowingly sat at home, being the good little wife that she is.

Ellie and I got close when we lived in North Carolina. I’d go as far as to say that we were best friends back then, and we still are. I knew what Jax was doing at that point and I should have told her, but I couldn’t bring myself to break her heart. She’s going to hate you…too. I did have a feeling that she suspected something was going on, anyway. I’ve wanted Ellie for years. She used to be yours. You could have her back if you wanted to. All it takes is a little honesty. I wanted more than what I knew I could have. Of course, I fucking wanted more of her. The woman is pure perfection.

If Jax keeps fucking up, I’m going to steal his girl. He’ll realize his mistakes then. I’ll make damn sure of it. Umm…She’s got a tight little ass and the most perfect breasts. I’ve paid more attention than I should have over the years. What man wouldn’t want more with that sexy ass woman? She was so sweet and kind, always putting others before herself. That’s one of the things that makes her so damn special. She’s always been special, even back then. I’ll have to live with the fact that I knew what Jax was doing behind her back for the rest of my life, and I regret it. I regret not telling her. He's getting the life that should have been meant for me. I saw her first. I loved her first, and I’d put her first if I was ever given the opportunity. Neither of them know those facts, though. And I plan on keeping it that way for as long as I can.

I wish that I could be the one to piece her back together. If Jax doesn’t get his shit together, I will take her from him. I swear I will do it if I have to.

Jax and Ellie have a beautiful little girl together. So many times I’ve wished she was mine. I might be her godfather, but I want more. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for that little girl. But at this point, I don’t know if Jax will ever let Ellie go. Knowing what she knows now could change all of that. She hasn’t had a conversation with Jax, but when she does, I don’t see it going well. If it were me, I’d beat his fucking ass. I’m pretty sure she’s waiting for him to get home. She doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary stress or distractions that could get him killed.

During this deployment, I’ve seen a change in him; it’s subtle, but it’s there. Is he trying to be better, to do better? We used to tell each other everything, but he’s yet to tell me about Christina being pregnant. He probably knows that I'll kick his fucking ass. Why the hell didn’t he wrap his dick up? Knowing Christina, she probably did the shit on purpose. She’s known about Ellie the entire time she and Jax have been messing around. I’m pretty sure that he told her he’d never leave his wife for her, either. I know that he loves Ellie in his own way, just not in the way she deserves to be loved. He’s been obsessed with Ellie since before our basic days. He’ll never let her go willingly. You would treat her like the queen she is, Lach. Shaking the thoughts of what can never be away, I get back to the task at hand.

This is the first deployment that Jax and I have been on together in a very long time. I wasn’t even supposed to be here. Shit, I’m not even supposed to be in Florida. But that’s a secret that I haven’t told anyone. I ended up there because of the two most beautiful girls in the world. Moving to Florida was all for them. It needed to happen, so I made it happen. For this deployment, they were asking for volunteers, so I figured it would be a good way to keep an eye on Jaxon. Now I regret that decision. I’d rather be back in Florida, knowing that my girls are safe.

This deployment is coming up on its six-month mark. We were all ready to get the fuck out of here. Tension is high all the way around. Being downrange isn’t always fun and games. Being special forces means something, though. We have a job to do and we’d make damn sure we got it done. There is one more high-value target that we need to deal with and then we are home free. We are so close, I can taste it.

Lachlan

“Let’s get this brief over with,” Captain Ramirez says. This man isn’t the one to fuck with. “Our high value target is right in the fucking city center. This isn’t our first rodeo. All of you know how Kabul is. We get in, take out our target, and then get the fuck out.”

My kit has been ready to go for this mission. We knew it was coming. I just didn’t anticipate it happening today. I’m prepped and ready to go, though. We’re all prepared. This is what we spent so many months training for. I trust these men with my life. They’ve got my six and I’ve got theirs. Our team has been on five deployments together and has done endless field exercises. If anyone’s got it, we do.

My kit is carrying so much shit. There are multiple bullet proof plates inserted. I’ve got my radio, grenades, first aid kit, and tourniquet. There’s ammo for both my Glock 19 and MP5. I’m amped up and ready to fuck shit up.

“Let’s get loaded up to head outside the wire. We’ll have three Strykers. Eight men will be in each, including the k9 and his handler. Double check your gear. Make sure you have everything you need. This is real world shit, guys. One more hit to go. Let’s make sure we get to go back home to our families. Comms check, fuckers,” the captain says.

“Medevac is on standby. We’ll be within the golden hour. It takes roughly an hour to get to the hospital by blackhawk. That’s your golden hour. This is our only chance to get Farahani. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Comms a go,” J says.

“Let’s roll out,” Captain yells out.

And here we fucking go.

It takes us about an hour to go from Bagram Air Base to the location where Farahani is hiding out in Kabul. Surprisingly, there’s no one in the streets. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing or a good thing at this point. From what I’ve seen, it could be a very bad thing for us.

“Shots fired; take cover! Get the fuck down!” I’m fucking screaming at Jaxon to get the hell down. He’s standing there like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Is he intentionally trying to get killed? From this point of view, that’s what it seems like. Where the hell is your mind right now, dude? We were able to take out Farahani but there are still some of his men left. One of his fucking snipers is hiding out and our overwatch hasn’t been able to find him. It’s clear as day that this piece of shit is good at what he does because we have the best men and he’s evading them. We had an easy infil but taking these guys out before our exfil is going to be a problem, especially with the sniper.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a glimmer of something shining up on one of the buildings. In slow motion, I see it coming. “Get the fuck down, McBride.” But I’m too fucking late. I watch in slow motion as Jax’s body falls to the ground. Dust flies into the air as his body hits the ground hard. My heart completely stops. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. This can’t be happening. The fucking sniper is still popping shots off left and right. Bullets keep hitting the ground all around me.

Running over to Jax, he’s lying down on the ground, blood coating his uniform. Crouching down, it’s hard to tell where he has been hit. From the amount of blood beginning to pool on the ground, I know we’re in deep shit. This isn’t good. Fucking Fuck!

“Jax, open your fucking eyes.” Ripping and pulling his gear and clothes out of the way, I see a bullet hole in the side of his neck, barely missing the carotid artery. Grabbing my first aid kit, I dig through it for a trauma bandage. Hopefully that’ll stem the blood flow until we can get him the fuck out of here.

“I need an emergency exfil. MAN DOWN! Get me some fucking help over here.” There’s chaos going on in the background, but I’m focused on Jax.

“La…la…Lach, they fucking got me. I’m so cold, man.” Staring at him, it’s like I’m slowly seeing the life drain from his eyes.

“We’re going to get you out of here, man. Just keep your eyes open. Keep talking to me, Jax.” Please don’t die on me.

“You need to stay awake. Think of Illiana and Blake. They both need you. Blake needs her daddy.” A tormented look crosses his face. His eyes glimmer as a single tear trails down his cheek. He’s fucking giving up and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

“I..I…I’m not going to make it out of th..this. It’s k…k…karma paying me back for all the shit I’ve put Lia through. There’s a le…letter in my contico. Make ssssure she gets it, Lach. Hhhelpp her. Be there for her. Please tell her that I love her and I’m so damn sorry. I’ve ruined our lives and Ben…K..k..keep Ben away from her. Please do that for me, Lach. Promise me!”

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