Page 1 of Second Chance Mates

1

JAXON

Pain.

Sometimes, pain is all I feel. The heart-wrenching, soul-destroying kind. It’s like a void in your heart that can never be fixed.

Happiness is nothing but a distant memory. Half my soul is missing, and I’ll never be able to fill the emptiness that suffocates my chest. It’s been nine months since I watched my beautiful mate be brutally murdered. Everyone tells me there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, but that’s not true. There is always something.

I blame myself every damn day.

All I remember is the screaming…the endless screaming. From her. From me. It haunts my dreams in the middle of the night and occupies my mind when I’m wide awake. I will never be able to escape it.

My other half is gone. My mate is gone. I will never see her face again. The heartache is unbearable—even today. Being an Alpha doesn’t make it any better; it only makes things worse. The pack are relying on me, and I’ve done nothing but mourn for her in sheltered silence.

I’ve been hard on my pack since she passed, but I’m not entirely sure what they expect of me. I don’t even know what I expect of myself. My life and future are gone, and now, I’ll live the remainder of my life mateless.

Everyone has heard the horror stories of mateless wolves. They eventually go insane from loneliness and depression. The days don’t get better. The pain gradually worsens, and eventually, our wolves give up from their broken hearts.

A knock at my office door stirs me away from my desk, although I was hardly paying attention to my work. I struggle to stay focused for extended periods of time. My mind seems to wander, and I’m left in this spiralling rut.

“Come in,” I shout as the door cracks open.

My eyes focus on my Beta, Kayden, as he stands in the doorway to my office. “Alpha,” he greets me.

“Do you need something?” I clear my throat and glance back down to the papers on my desk. I can’t even remember where I left off. My eyes flitter across the words.

Did I even start?

Kayden walks across my office and stands directly in front of me, crossing his thick arms over his chest. “I wanted to know if you’d have dinner with us tonight. It’s been a long time sinc–”

My hand raises. I don’t even want to hear it. I know I haven’t been the best Alpha. I don’t need him to state the obvious. “I’m busy. Another time.”

When he doesn’t move or dismiss himself, I look up. His dark eyes are watching me carefully. I sigh, leaning back into my chair. “I know you’re going through a tough time, Jaxon. But we rarely see you as it is. The pack needs you. They can support you.”

My jaw tenses, bones cracking in the process. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

I run a hand down my face. This isn’t the conversation I want to have right now. I need to finish this work, and this is another unnecessary distraction.

“Because I can’t bear the thought of seeing other people happy, alright?” I snap, instantly regretting the words. Kayden’s brows soften, and he drops his hands to his sides. “Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’m selfish as fuck? Since I lost Julia, I can’t find it in me to look at Lucy and Sebastian together, or anyone, for that matter. It fucking kills me.”

Kayden’s mouth parts, and I brace myself for his bullshit, but it never comes. Instead, he consoles me, and I hate that even more. “It’s not selfish, Jaxon. You lost a part of your soul; we all understand that’s something that won’t heal overnight. But we’re here for you. We want to show you what a pack’s love can do. We’re family, and all of us want to help. But come on, Jaxon. Give us a chance.”

Love.

I silently scoff at the word. The only love I want is from my soulmate.

But she’s gone.

When I hear my Beta sigh and take a step away from my desk, I sink further into my seat. “You know where we are if you want to join us. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but we don’t want to see you deteriorate. I’m running out of things to suggest, and I hate seeing you like this.”

“Me, too,” I murmur as I numbingly stare at a spot on my desk.

Moments later, my office door shuts with a soft click. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath and swipe a bunch of papers onto the floor out of frustration and self-hatred.

A concoction of emotions crawls through my body like trapped poison in my veins. The ones that paralyse me every day and take control of every thought.

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