Page 56 of Forever Always

“That was my fuckin’ story to tell, Riley. Mine, not yours.”

“I-I know. Fuck, I know. But I didn’t tell her nothin’ about you. Or anything really. Just told her to not let him alone with kids. It’s not enough. I wish I could’ve done more, but I just felt so desperate.”

When Becks was still silent, I kept talkin’. I needed to fix this somehow. “I screwed up. I shoulda talked to you about it. But every time I tried, you shut me down. He’s working with kids, baby. I had to do somethin’.”

Becks deflated and collapsed back onto the bed. I started to cry when he held out his arms for me. I’d never moved so fast in my entire fuckin’ life.

“Sorry,” I mumbled when he winced.

“It’s fine. I think I might have a bruised rib or somethin’. I don’t even remember the fucker gettin' me there though.”

I nuzzled against his check. “I’m sorry I went behind your back, Beckett.”

He sighed and kissed the top of my head. “I know you are. I’m still a little pissed but I get it. I wasn't makin’ it easy on you. I’m just so fuckin’ scared for you. This was never supposed to be your issue.”

“I’m a little scared too, but we’re a team. I don’t mind sharin’ the burden. I just went about it the wrong way.”

“I get it. I’m kinda relieved honestly. I shoulda said somethin’ years ago. I just wish he didn’t fuckin’ see you. What’re we gonna do?”

“I don’t know. But I got the impression he did give a shit about me knowin’. I think he knows he still has the upper hand.”

“I know I can’t just ignore this no more. But . . . not tonight. I’m too tired.”

I nuzzled him. “Rest, Becks. We can worry about the rest later.

Beckett didn’t say anything but held me tighter, and that was fine. He might’ve still been annoyed, but he didn’t hate me and he wasn’t pushing me away.

The mood shift was tangible. One minute, we were just cuddling, taking comfort from each other, and the next, Becks’s hands started to slide up and down my body and then eventually began drifting lower and lower. I shifted on his lap, and it was impossible to ignore his ever-growing bulge. I started to subtly grind against it because I had no fuckin’ shame.

“Butterfly?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you— Um, I need you, please.”

I ran my lips along his neck, and allowed them to drag along the skin.

“You have me, baby.”

“No, I mean, I need you to take me. I need you inside me, butterfly.”

My head whipped up so I could look Becks in the eye. Was he fuckin’ serious? We hadn’t even discussed anal or anal play yet. That had seemed like such a far-off possibility or maybe even a hard limit. Sure, it was something I’d fantasized about, but I’d never brought it up and never really planned to. Becks hadn’t even been able to get a blow job yet, so this took me way the fuck off guard.

We just stared at each other, but he seemed more sure of himself than I’d ever seen him. StilI, I was at war with myself. A lot had happened today, and I wasn’t sure if he was in the right headspace for this.

“Becks, baby, are you sure? We can wait.”

“No. I need you, Ri. I just—after everything today, my mind is a mess. I keep seein’ Dad on the ground and then Mr. Chase, and . . . I need to forget them. Please make me forget.”

CHAPTER 22

BECKETT

Riley’s pupils were so blown that you could barely see any of the light blue. He sucked in his lip between his teeth as he stared at me for way too long. I knew he was worried that I wasn’t ready or that I’d freak out, but I didn’t think I had the words to express how much I fuckin’ needed him.

So I just kissed him. I put as much of how I was feeling into that kiss as I could. Words might’ve been failing me, but Riley always got me, and he understood this.

Not breaking the kiss, Riley adjusted us so I was flat on my back and he was straddling me. I flinched from a sharp pain in my ribs, and of course he noticed.

---