Page 74 of Forever Always

I nodded and followed Wesley over. He sat with his back facing the wall so he was angled toward the front door. I raised an eyebrow at Becks, who just shrugged and took the seat next to him so he could also see the door.

For a good minute, no one talked and it was awkward as fuck. I kept fidgeting with my shirt, drumming the table, anything to keep my hands busy. Beckett’s foot was tapping so fuckin’ fast, I’d thought he’d drill a hole through the damn floor. Wesley was still, but it felt like the air was vibrating around him.

He was finally the one who broke the tension. “I’m going to grab a coffee. Do either of you want anything? It’s on me.”

I opened my mouth to tell him he didn’t need to buy me with caffeine, but Becks squeezed my knee, which stopped me from running my mouth. When Becks told you to shut the fuck up, you listened because the guy never knew when to keep his mouth shut. If he thought I should give Wesley a chance, I supposed it wouldn’t hurt.

“I’ll take a black coffee, thanks.” He looked at me when I was still sitting there like a dumbass in silence. “Butterfly? You want one of those caramel things you like so much?”

Normally, I’d be all over that. It was a treat I rarely got to have, and I wouldn’t usually turn down a freebie, but the thought of all that sweetness made me feel sick so I shook my head.

I forced myself to look up at Wesley, even if I still found it unnerving as fuck. “I’m good, thanks.”

He just shrugged like it was no big deal and went to the line, leaving Becks and me alone again which gave me a chance to breathe. Fuck, why was this so hard?

Becks gripped the back of my neck, which centered me. “You’re okay, butterfly. We leave whenever you want. You’re in control.”

I nodded. I knew I was being ridiculous. From what we could tell, Wesley was telling the truth and had no idea I existed. He deserved the benefit of the doubt. And honestly, I wasn’t really even mad at him. Couldn’t blame him for shit he had no control over. But it was messing with me that he was here now and trying to be a part of my life. I would’ve loved a father figure who gave a fuck when I was 5 and grieving my mom and terrified. Or at 8 when Becks and I would walk around all the back alleys of restaurants, taking their tossed food out of the dumpsters. But now . . . I didn’t need him.

I was good. Or well, as good as I’d ever be. I had Beckett, and Jay, and now maybe even Dakota. They were my family. They were all I needed. I was raised to be untrusting and guarded, to only ever rely on my very tight circle. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to try and add another person. Especially not a father.

Wesley came back holding two coffees and my favorite frozen drink filled to the top with whipped cream and drizzled in caramel. He pushed it in front of me.

“No pressure to drink it. I won’t be offended.”

He sat back down, his eyes bouncing analytically between us. I stared at the drink. He’d bought me a drink when I’d told him no. Why? Was he trying to bribe me into a relationship? Remind me of all the things I couldn’t have because we were broke but I probably could if I let him in my life? How’d he even know this was what Becks was talking about? There were a lot of caramel drinks here . . .

“Riley, breathe, butterfly,” Beckett whispered into my ear.

“Huh?” I looked up and realized I had just been lost in my own head for who knew how long. Fuck. I ran my hands through my hair and shifted in my seat.

Wesley sighed, his head tipped back. “Listen, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable, Riley. If this is too much for you, I understand. We can leave now, no hard feelings. I know I have no right to try and shove myself into your life.”

I picked at my nails, unable to look at him. “No,” I croaked before clearing my throat. “Sorry. No. I-I want to stay. I at least want to hear you out. I don’t want you to leave for fuck knows where without understanding. I know you told Becks most of it already, but I need to hear it from you.”

Wesley took a sip of his coffee, and collected his thoughts. “I’m honestly not even sure where to begin. I never imagined we’d get to this point.”

I didn’t know either, so I was relieved when Becks answered for me. “The beginnin’ works.”

Wesley smirked but steeled his shoulders and started talking. “Your mom and I, we were best friends growing up. Inseparable. Our moms used to joke about being future in-laws and their grandbabies all the time. So it only seemed natural to us as we got older that our relationship evolved that way.”

He took another sip, and I sat unmoving, fascinated by someone who knew my mom as a kid. I hadn’t seen my aunt, her sister, since right after the funeral, and if anyone else was alive, they’d never tried to find me, so I knew so little about her. Most I knew was from stories Becks told me.

“But honestly, I don’t think I ever loved Laurie like that. I loved her, but like family. I think it was expectations more than anything. We were on and off all through high school. We’d either be so close, it bordered on codependency.” I knew all about that. “Or we’d be at each other’s throats. Even if I never left for the Navy, I don’t think it would’ve worked out between us in the end.”

Somehow, that made it better. Maybe life would’ve been better if I’d known my birth dad, but I wasn’t missing out on some perfect little family. Besides, if she did stay with Wesley, I would’ve never known Becks and that was just unacceptable.

“Anyway, I did leave for the Navy. We tried to keep doing our thing while I was away, but it was fucking hard. Like I told Beckett, when I came home for leave right before I joined the SEALs, we said our goodbyes. That’s when Laurie got pregnant.”

Wesley went on to tell me everything he’d already told Becks, just with more detail. He tried to fill in some blanks, like he was pretty sure he’d been in Bolivia when Mom had died. He couldn’t tell us any specifics, of course, but even the little bits locked things in place better.

“I found out about you by accident.” Wesley had been talking for what felt like hours, but I refused to stop him. Fuck, I’d barely blinked since he’d started. I was terrified to find this out, but now that I was here, I needed to know. That very small part of me that had always wondered about my birth dad needed to know I wasn’t abandoned by him, at least not on purpose.

“My mom died late last year. It took a while, but my sister finally convinced my dad to move in with her and sell the big house we grew up in. I found this letter shoved in a locked file. They hadn’t even open it.” He dug something out of his pocket and placed it on the table in front of me.

Becks had told me he had a letter but that he hadn’t read it. I eyed it but wouldn’t touch it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it said.

Wesley didn't comment but kept talking. “It took me a while to find you. You kind of dropped off the radar fifteen years ago. There’s a spotty school record with years unaccounted for.” Yeah, because Dad didn’t always remember to enroll us in school when we moved, and most places wouldn’t let a kid Becks do it. It wasn’t until all that shit went online that we were able to go consistently.

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