Page 200 of Tell Me Something True

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “that you go through that. I know what it’s like to be unwillingly dragged back into one’s past. To relive it.” With a slight wince, she lowered her gaze as she let go of his wrists to clasp her hands in her lap. “I got yanked firmly back into mine the night we spent together. It was nothing you did,” she assured him quickly when he stiffened.

He could feel the blood drain from his face. “Are you sure? Because if I did something to trig—”

“You didn’t,” she told him firmly. “It wasn’t anything like that.”

He eased back, studied her face. “What happened that night?”

“More like what happened that morning. It had been a long time since I’d woken up in a bed that wasn’t my own, a long time since I’d woken up and I wasn’t alone. And for a moment, I couldn’t get my bearings. It was like being a kid all over again, waking up in a hotel room or an apartment my mom had brought me to. And then later, all the different foster homes I was placed in. It’s just so disorienting. Not knowing where you were or what was going to happen to you. So frightening not knowing who you could trust. Terrifying not having any control over your life.” She swallowed thickly. “Or your own body. Who touched you. What they did to you.”

Stomach turning as he imagined what she’d lived through, what she’d survived, he tipped his head against hers once again. He kept silent because there was nothing he could say that would make it better for her. Nothing he could do.

Except be there for her like she’d just been there for him.

Wrapping one arm around his neck, Tabitha laid the side of her head against his shoulder, settled her other hand on his chest. “It was always such a sense of helplessness. Add in the guilt I felt for lying to you about passing through Mount Laurel, and I panicked. And then I ran into Verity.”

“Which is like running as fast as you can into a brick wall.”

Tabitha snorted out a half laugh. “She was lovely. At first.”

Now it was Miles’s turn to snort, and he felt Tabitha smile against his neck.

She began tracing small circles on his chest with the tip of her forefinger. “She was lovely and immensely pleased to catch me sneaking out of your house.”

“No doubt.”

“Right up until I jumped to conclusions. The absolute wrong conclusions. She had every right to defend you. Not only because she loves you, but because she was right. No one who knows you would ever believe you could lure a teenage girl to your house for any reason. And I didn’t believe it. Not really.” She lifted her head, her eyes full of regret. Shame. “But I still thought it. I thought it and I accused you of it because I’ve had too many clients who’ve been used and abused by people who held power over them. I thought it because I’ve been hurt too many times by the people in my life who were supposed to take care of me. And protect me.”

“I know,” he whispered raggedly. Pressed a kiss to her temple. “It’s okay.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I haven’t even apologized yet.”

“You don’t have to.”

Yeah, he’d been pissed that morning—thanks to his pride and ego—but even then, he’d suspected there was something more going on.

“Miles,” she said softly. “I’m truly sorry for what happened that morning. I was scared.”

He nodded. “Of your memories.”

“Of my feelings. Seeing you at the bar really was a shock. I told myself I wasn’t in Mount Laurel for you. I’d convinced myself that what we had was in the past and I was content to let it stay there. But then I saw you and everything I’d felt for you came rushing back. I followed you home because I thought I could handle it. The memories. The regrets. Your anger. I thought being with you one last time would be worth the risk of whatever feelings rose to the surface.”

“But it turned out what I couldn’t handle was the tiny sliver of hope that lodged itself here” —she tapped her chest, directly over her heart. “Hope that we might be able to start something new. But hoping for things to be different had never worked for me before. I’d always end up heartbroken and disappointed, so I knew I couldn’t trust it.”

She blew out a careful breath. “I snuck out of your bed because I wanted to stay and tell you the truth about why I was there. I wanted to admit why I left all those years ago. And I wanted to ask you to give me, to give us, a second chance. I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for sneaking out and accusing you of inappropriate behavior. I’m sorry for lying to you about why I was in town, and for all the things I kept from you when we were together. And while I still think my leaving was for the best for both of us, I’m so, so sorry about the way I did it. And how much it hurt you.”

“And I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to say that," she continued. "I told myself I didn’t owe you an apology. I was so certain walking away from you had been the only way for me to change and grow and become the woman I wanted to be. But now I can’t help but think I was wrong. That I could have stayed with you, that I could have changed and grown with you. And I’m sorry I didn’t give us the chance to help each other heal and become our best selves. Together.”

There it was. The apology he’d been waiting for. The one he’d longed for. The one he was so certain would bring him vindication.

But after everything he’d learned about Tabitha these past few weeks and getting to know the woman she’d become, after coming to a few not so pretty insights into his own behavior, he realized that now that he had her apology, he no longer wanted it.

He didn’t need it.

All he needed was her.

Chapter 40

Tabitha wiped another tear from her flushed, wet cheek, but didn’t try and hold her tears back. She wanted Miles to see her once again in a moment of truth and vulnerability. Wanted him to know her apology was sincere. To share her fears and regrets.

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