Page 84 of Always Right

“Don’t ever for a fucking second think that our lives—my life—would be better without you.”

Her brown eyes swirled with emotion. Anger, sadness...betrayal. Trembling, she pulled away from me, holding her hands against her chest as if the contact stung. Maybe it did...but it was the only way I had of telling her I was with her unconditionally.

“She fucking told you. ” She took off again, this time heading to our bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. First a stalker...now Evie’s betrayal.

Gotta give her a fucking break.

We’d only been married a little over a week and very clearly, everything was already falling apart.

Neither of us were thinking straight.

We needed some space but I couldn’t give it to her. After all the shit we’d been through, I wouldn’t leave things festering. I found her in the restroom, taking off her earrings as she leaned against the counter, her lips pressed in a tight line.

“You can say what you want. We all know this is because of me. We all know that your life, Evie's and everyone else’s for that matter, would be different if I wasn’t here. But let’s suppose it doesn’t matter...tell me, how the hell do I fix this? How the hell do I make sure our daughters will be okay? How do I even find out who is following me? Tell me, Derek, how the hell do I stop this?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t fucking know.”

The tension in the air thickened with every breath we took and the need to have her close to me grew each second. She looked up at me with her chest heaving, whether it be from anger or something else I didn’t know, and I didn’t wait to find out. My fingers tangled in the back of her hair and I pressed my lips against hers. She was my taste of heaven in the midst of this hell...

My breath of fresh air when I felt like I was drowning.

When she didn’t pull away and instead wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on to me like I was the same to her, all bets were off.

I strained against my sweatpants as I unbuttoned her jeans, desperate to be inside her, surrounding me with her warmth. A quiet whimper left Hannah’s lips as I kissed the soft skin of her neck, nipping, biting, taking everything I could from her.

My name left her lips, a quiet plea that I gratefully accepted as I lifted her onto the counter, knocking something over but not giving a damn.

I made love to her there on the counter, then in the shower as the warm water cascaded over our naked bodies, reminding her she belonged there with me, until death do us apart.

***

We laid in bed surrounded by the silence of the night, comforted only by each other. I held her in my arms, safe and protected...yet it didn’t feel like enough. I pressed a small kiss at the top of her head, realizing just how quickly things had changed in the last twelve hours.

The happiness in her eyes had completely dissipated, replaced by uncertainty.

And that feeling in my chest, the fucking fear became too real.

"I didn’t know how to tell you." Her quiet admission broke me out of my trance. I closed my eyes, thinking back to those months in which everything was a blur. In which my anger had blinded me and dictated all my decisions. While I fought my battle, Hannah had nearly lost hers. “I always struggled with my self worth...I didn’t have the best mom, you know? And then when I left prison and had to make so many amends, I never felt like I deserved anyone’s forgiveness.”

Fuck.

Her voice trembled, but I didn’t stop her. She needed to say it and I needed to hear it.

“And then I was finally happy and we were planning a family and all of a sudden you doubted me again. It was too much.” I squeezed my eyes shut at her confession as guilt quickly knocked the air out of my lungs yet again. The thought of losing her was unbearable. “It felt like I wasn’t worth it. And it was easy to think that disappearing was the only option.”

“Kind of like it does now,” I replied.

Hannah glanced up at me and for a moment I thought she would deny it, but to my surprise, she didn’t. She simply gave me a small nod before settling her head on my chest again.

She trusted me.

“I know Evie meant well...I know she was scared, but I never wanted you to find out like this. I didn’t want you to perceive me differently.”

I shifted on the bed, propping my head up with my hand as I looked down at her. Her beautiful eyes sparkled in the darkness of the night and her hair fanned out on the pillow below her.

She was beautiful...more than words could describe.

“Baby, if anything, this makes me admire you more.” I brushed her hair back and gauged her reaction carefully. “I’m so fucking sorry my actions pushed you to do something like that but—"

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