Page 83 of Always Right

Not if that meant hurting her further.

I placed a kiss on Evie’s forehead and stepped back, watching how quickly she began to fall apart. Nathan stepped in and hugged her, while I made my choice clear.

“I’m going to call the PI now. You guys are welcome to stay or see yourselves out. I’ll let you know when she’s back home.”

With a silent nod, Nathan held Evie for a few seconds while I finally walked away.

And in the silence of the empty bedroom, it dawned on me that the fear of Hannah not coming back was very fucking real.

***

She was gone for two hours.

Two hours in which Evie sent one too many messages.

Two hours in which I drove myself crazy after I spoke to the private investigator, trying to tell myself that not all scenarios ended in bloodshed.

Two hours in which I realized that if she didn’t make it back home, what was left of my sanity would quickly disappear.

It didn't matter how much I had to pay or what we had to do, this had to end, for all our sakes. I didn’t have a family growing up, I didn’t have someone to love and protect but now that I did, I’d be damned if I let anyone hurt them.

I heard the front door open and shut, followed by the soft footsteps I was so familiar with. They grew closer, except she never showed up at our bedroom door. I got myself up from the bed and headed in the direction of the girls bedroom, stopping when I saw her standing by their crib, her hand carefully caressing their innocent faces.

And when her eyes met me from across the room she took the breath from my lungs. Her swollen eyes were hopeless, defeated.

Like all her fight was gone.

She pulled on the sleeves of her shirt, covering her wrists and the world nearly collapsed on me. It was until then that I realized she’d started this habit after her attempt...trying to hide what she had done.

Fuck.

The stabbing pain in my chest intensified with each passing second, the thought of her hurting herself after I'd broken her heart eating me up alive. Maybe I hadn't caused her to do it, but I'd definitely played a part.

Guilt quickly took over, making it hard to fucking breathe. The thought of her being gone forever was too much. A world in which she didn't exist was unimaginable.

Hannah cleared her throat, as if trying to speak but didn’t say a single word, not for a few more seconds...and I didn’t know what to fucking say without admitting that I knew everything, so I stayed quiet, shutting my mouth over the fear of saying the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry this is happening.” Her voice was soft, but full of conviction. As if she truly believed she was responsible for all of it. My heart hammered against my chest as she continued with an apology she didn’t need to make. “This is all a mess and it will always be a mess because of me and—"

“Don’t say that,” I said, hoping I could stop her from saying things that weren’t true but it wasn’t enough.

Her throat moved as she swallowed and she stepped away from our daughters, closing the distance between us. “It’s true. This is all happening because of me, Derek. It’s never going to stop, ever, because someone will always come after me, after my family because of what I did.”

“Hannah, don’t—"

“I’ve fucked everything up, ruined all chances for us have a normal life and now this is happening and—"

“So what do you suggest we do? Hm?” I bit the question out, full of bitterness though not aimed at her. “Because blaming yourself solves nothing.”

Her lip curled as she thought of what to say, but I knew exactly the words that would leave her mouth when she spoke. “I should have never come back.” Such finality in her words, such fucking distress and yet the knot in my throat made it impossible for me to say a thing in that moment. “I should have stayed away, stayed far, far from everyone I loved so I didn’t drag them into my mess. Everyone would be better off if I wasn’t here and now—"

“Stop!” My voice broke through the quiet room, causing our girls to stir. Hannah walked past me and to the hallway when she realized I was too frustrated. “Stop saying shit like that because you know it’s not true.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Now that is bullshit. You know every single bit of it is true. If I hadn’t come back—"

“If you hadn’t come back our daughters wouldn’t exist.” My reminder made her freeze in place. I walked up to her, towering over her fragile body. She looked so fucking defenseless, but her eyes were alight with anger. “If you hadn’t come we wouldn’t exist.”

She inhaled sharply when I took her hand in mine and caressed the soft skin of her wrist.

---