Page 60 of Always Right

Was this the right choice?

“I’ll open up,” Hannah said after a few seconds, eyeing me with caution. I took a deep breath and nodded, thankful that she was going and not me.

“Hey!” I heard Dylan exclaim, his voice full of genuine happiness. “Long time no see.”

Hannah laughed, greeting Carina as well. “You have no idea. Come on in.”

He was a few years older than me...old enough that the age difference was noticeable now...and I didn’t have many memories of him as a child because he left before I could even form them...but he was there now. Even if I didn’t want him to be. Even if I was used to being alone.

“Hello, brother,” he said. Guilt flashed in his eyes, like he was remembering the same thing. Hell...maybe part of him regretted it. Maybe in the end he felt guilty for walking away and leaving me alone with an unstable mother. He greeted me with a hug, placing his hands on my shoulders and smiling. “Thank you for doing this.”

I wasn’t sure why the hell I was doing it. We’d seen each other just a year before, but fuck…everything was different now. I felt the weight of the past on my shoulders more heavily and it wasn’t easy to bear.

“It was going to happen sooner or later, right?” I shrugged, turning to look at Evie and extending an arm to her. She looked so much like a child, scared and nervous.

Don’t abandon her, too.

She squeezed my hand, searching for comfort and I placed my arm over her shoulders, hoping she knew that even if Dylan left, I would be there. I would never leave her again.

“Evie, this is Dylan, our older brother and Dylan...this is Evie, our baby sister.” Evie shifted on her feet nervously and Dylan looked at her for a few seconds, a sad smile on his face as he reached out, his hand gently caressing her face.

I knew exactly what he was going to say.

“You look just like mom,” he whispered.

Evie swallowed, her voice breaking as she spoke but kept a smile on her face. “I suppose I do because I don’t look like anyone in my adoptive family.” Dylan chuckled, catching a glimpse at the real Evie and opened his arms to her, embracing her like an older brother should and for that moment, everything was okay. He said something to her and she nodded, their embrace comforting and sweet. Nathan relaxed behind me and Hannah offered me a smile, one that said “I told you so.” The three of us spoke for a few minutes as Dylan reassured us that he was here to stay and I stood to the side, not wanting any part of it.

Because it fucking hurt.

This was always how it should have been.

I pushed the idea away when Evie turned around and extended her hand to Nathan.

Time for more introductions.

“This is Nathan, my husband and our kids...Lily and Noah are outside with his mom, Deborah.”

Dylan furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at the stroller next to Hannah. “So whose kids are those?”

Hannah grimaced, raising her hand and I cleared my throat, making his eyes travel from her to me.

“Yours? Those babies are yours? You and Hannah...what? Holy shit.”

Hannah gave an awkward smile as he approached her and the stroller, looking at our daughters who were wide awake. “Damn.” Dylan chuckled, shaking his head in amazement. “So, when’s the wedding then?” He placed a hand on my shoulder, and though he meant it as a joke the air around us turned heavy with sadness. “I mean, first came kids, then the wedding right?”

“We’re not together anymore.” I said, watching how Hannah looked away. Dylan tried to hide his shock, but failed.

“Well, what the hell happened?”

No tact.

Carina approached, kneeling down and taking Isa’s hand in hers. “What Dylan means to say is that he’s happy to meet them and we should probably eat breakfast because we’re all hungry.”

***

They talked about everything and anything, making up for lost time. Hannah sat back with Carina, talking and laughing without a care in the world, though I could tell the tension lingered. There were many things left unsaid, things that they wanted to ask but didn’t know how. A few hours had passed and as the end of the year neared, I wasn’t sure what the hell I wanted for the next. I walked out of the cabin to the campfire outdoors and sat, stretching out my legs as I thought back to the moment my brother had left...and how it changed and fucked me up. I laughed, alone, watching the flames of the fire burn in front of me and I wished...I hoped for a better future for my daughters. I had to keep my shit together for them...to be a good father, to be a man worthy of being in their lives.

Worthy of being in Hannah’s life...even if it was just as the father of her children.

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