Page 17 of A Brilliant Spring

Riley

Rhys walks me out of the building after the blood is drawn. We’re both quiet, not quite sure what to say. When we’re outside, I pull my phone out of my purse and text my driver, the crook of my elbow lightly throbbing. I shove the phone back in the pocket of my jacket and turn to look at Rhys.

“Well, the driver is coming to get me. I’ll let you know the results. Thanks for holding my hand,” I say, trying to leave emotion out of my words. A chilly breeze brushes past us and I can hear the car I called approach behind me, its tires crunching against the salted asphalt. There’s a moment of charged awkwardness that leaves us standing in limbo, wondering what the hell to do. Rhys shuffles forward, his arms slightly opening at the same time that I step back, only increasing the level of awkwardness. My fingers tingle for him to hold my hand again, my body aches to feel his skin on mine.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll talk to you later, then,” Rhys mumbles. I open the car door, slide inside, and Rhys’ hand wraps around the top of the door and presses it closed. Rhys stands still, his black hair ruffling in the wind as the car drives away. I turn around to watch as we drive further away. He finally turns and walks in the opposite direction, digging his hands into his pockets, a puff of white steam trailing him from his hot breath.

•••

When I get home, I slink into my bedroom and change into some Roots track pants, unclasp and remove my bra, and pull on a cozy off-the-shoulder sweater, along with some thick woollen reading socks. I twist my hair up into a messy bun and flick the light on in the washroom when I get there, then prep my face products to remove my makeup and wash my face.

In the middle of washing my face, I hear Elissa slam the front door. She comes stomping down the hallway, and a wet sound smacks on the floor with every step. Elissa appears in the doorway, her face red from the chilly air, but it looks as though smoke is rising off her head; she’s mad.

“What’s wrong with you?”

She grinds her teeth and her eye twitches.

“Fucking stepped in a slushy, ice-cold puddle on the walk home and I’ve been walking two blocks with a frozen fucking foot. FUCK! It hurts.” She bends over, tugging off her sodden sock and it slops to the floor. She shudders. “I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna change and warm up my fucking foot.”

I chuckle and finish washing my face. Back in my bedroom, I walk over to my dresser and open my jewelry box. I take off my colourless one-carat diamond stud earrings, trimmed with platinum and gold, and my platinum and gold tennis bracelet, then place them inside the box, safe and sound. I hear Elissa grumble, and I head out to the kitchen and living area to find her rummaging around in the cupboards.

“Whatcha doin’?” I singsong. She slides cans and boxes along the shelves in the cupboards as bags crinkle.

“Trying to find something to eat. Something junky.”

“We need to go get groceries. Wanna just order something in?”

Elissa’s face twists, falls, and then she sighs.

“Nah. I’m not really hungry, just feeling blah. How was the appointment? How was Rhys?”

A flip of the stomach makes me nervous when I hear his name. I shouldn’t be stomach flipping for him. I shrug my shoulders and lean against the counter. “I don’t know. The appointment itself was fine. Rhys was a dick for the first little bit, but then he offered to hold my hand when I was getting my blood drawn, so there’s that.” Elissa nods briefly and chews the inside of her cheek. “What?”

She sighs. “He held your hand? That’s it?” I nod, a blush blooming on my cheeks. “Oh, hun…just be careful, please. Don’t let him get to you unless he’s being sincere.”

“I know,” I mumble. “It was just nice having someone there again. I’m going to have to do this all alone.”

“Ouch. All alone? I’m here for you, and I will be here for that little kiwi in your belly.” I laugh.

“You’re calling it a kiwi now too?” Elissa beams at me and winks.

“If it’s a girl, you should totally name her like Kiana or something, so we can just call her Kiwi.”

My eyes widen and I see hearts floating everywhere in the room.

“I love that name! Okay. Kiana is officially at the top of my girl name list,” I say with resolve. “So, how are things with Brandt?” Elissa grumbles and turns away, going back to rummaging in the cupboards to avoid the question. “I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well tell me.” Elissa huffs and turns back to face me.

“I don’t know, Riles. When we’re together he’s distant. Like he’s pulling away, and I don’t know what I fucking did. I don’t get it. I’m new to relationships, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to shut down and avoid each other. I almost wonder if he’s bored of me, or maybe he thinks he made a mistake wanting to try a relationship with me. I don’t know, I’m not really good at this kind of thing, but I’m trying. He texts me back one-word answers or emojis, and it’s frustrating. When we get together it’s always sex, which is fine, but he doesn’t cuddle me like he was doing for a while there. Which, again, not such a big deal, but it is when it changes suddenly.”

My heartstrings tug for Elissa and what she’s going through. I can see she’s trying really hard.

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“No. Of course not. If he’s pulling away and I say something, it’ll do one of two things. One, he’ll get all defensive and dismissive and eventually dump me. Or two, he’ll get all jumpy and freaked and dump me for pressuring him somehow.” I furrow my brows at her and press my lips into a thin line.

“Yeah…I don’t think he’d do either of those things,” I say. “You just need to have a talk with him and get to the bottom of it. The longer you put it off, the harder it will get, and the more confusing it will be for both of you. Hell, he’ll probably pull away even more if you don’t say anything. You need to tell him how you feel, how his behaviour is making you feel.” Elissa’s shoulders drop, and she walks over to the couch and collapses to the cushions with a sigh. I follow her and plop down.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just hard. I don’t know how to do these things. He’s the one who wanted the relationship.”

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