Page 108 of Avenged

But it refused.

Instead, I kept replaying the scene in my head. The gorgeous man I loved, surrounded in flowers he’d bought me. The revised contract. His soft expression as he ran a finger over my cheek. Touching me. As he’d touched me from the very beginning, first with words, and then with hands, and finally with lips and heart and soul.

The summer sun was trying to sink behind the mountains to the west, but the light was still holding on to the day when my door flung open, hitting the wall with such a thud that it normally would have caused me to jump up. But I didn’t move. I didn’t want to move. I hurt in every part of my being.

Violet stood across the bed from me, hands on her hips, fiery and furious all at the same time. “You told him no!”

I should have known she was in on it. It was the reason she’d been so set on closing for me today. She’d wanted me to go to him. The fact she wanted me to say yes proved just how young and idealistic she still was, because if she’d been realistic at all, she would have known I couldn’t say yes.

She took me in, my curled position, the heating pad, my red face from crying, and she softened a little. She crawled onto the bed and lay facing me. “Why did you tell him no when you love him so much?”

“Sometimes, love isn’t enough.”

She was shaking her head vigorously in the negative. “You’re wrong, Jers. Love is the only thing that really matters.”

It hit me hard, making more tears come at the thought of Truck. He’d come back for me. I’d found someone who actually loved me, and yet, I couldn’t go. Not clear across the country. And I wouldn’t ask Vi to upend her world for me. She didn’t deserve that.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s leaving to go to San Francisco.”

“So, go with him.”

I put my hand out and tugged at her purple strands, which had faded so that they were almost back to her normal white-blonde. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why would you want to stay here?!”

“You’re here,” I told her simply. “And you love it here.”

She laughed. “No. No, I really don’t. I hate it here. I hate that the entire town looks at us like we are the lowest scum on the food chain. Worse than maggots. It’s why I’d already planned my own escape.”

I frowned at her. “What are you talking about?”

She took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to tell you yet. I didn’t want to tell you until it was closer to August, but I’m going away to college.”

I pushed up. “What? Where? There’s no way we can afford it, Vi.”

“Does it matter where? It’s away from here, and we can afford it, because it’s free.”

I was shaking my head, because even with grants, there’d be other expenses.

She squeezed my hand. “It’s really free. I applied for a scholarship from the Jake C. Phillips Foundation. They give scholarships to people who have illnesses and injuries so they can go to the college of their choice. They help them with the medical piece, or equipment, or whatever they need to make it happen. For me, it’s just medicine, and tuition, and living expenses. But for others, it could be wheelchairs, or support dogs, or a caregiver.”

I stared at her, so confused, my body and heart trying to catch up to her words. “What are you talking about?”

“I got a scholarship that pays it all, Jers. All of it. Books. Housing. Tuition,” she explained, and my surprise must have registered, because she looked away. “I didn’t want to tell you in case I didn’t go. I couldn’t leave you here like you were.”

“Violet, you are not here to take care of me; I’m here to take care of you.”

“Why do you always feel like it can only be one-sided? We’re both sisters. We were looking out for each other.”

“You’re?”

“Don’t you dare say the younger sister. I’m not a baby. I haven’t been a baby in a long, long time. You don’t get to keep taking all the hits for me.”

I stared at her as more surprise and shock flew through my body. I’d had enough of them today. First Truck, and now her. The fact she knew about the hits I’d taken for her hurt almost as much as the hand that had hit me. I hadn’t known she was watching. I’d always shooed her off to bed whenever Dad got mad. I didn’t want her to see him that way…or me that way.

“Do you know what I really think?” Violet asked. “I think you’re afraid of letting him love you. I think you’re afraid of loving him back, of giving in, and surrendering to something you can’t control. You had no control for so long, and then you were given complete control—of me, of our lives, of what we did, of where we lived. And at first, I let you take charge because I didn’t know how, but now…now, I can take care of myself, Jers. You have to trust that I can.”

Her words were an echo of the ones I’d said to Truck and hit me hard. But I was hurt she was pushing my love and my sacrifices back at me, so I snipped back at her, “Like taking my car you didn’t know how to drive?”

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