Page 76 of The Happiness Project

He looks over at me as he’s sipping his drink to that one and I hope he’s thinking of that New Year’s party. Of course, the group asks him about it, but he simply says that a gentleman never tells.

I think Charlie might have chosen some of those statements knowing that I’d done them, so I’m feeling a bit fuzzy at the end of the game. I ask for a jug of water, and although everyone tells me I’m being boring, they all take a glassful.

In the pause, Mum suddenly leaps up with her phone in her hand.

‘He’s on his way!’ she shouts out excitedly. ‘My date’s on his way. I’d better go freshen up.’

I sit dumbfounded as both Zoe and Patty head to the bathroom with her. Charlie rubs my arm and tells me to trust them.

‘I can’t just sit here and let this happen,’ I tell him, making to get up and follow them. Charlie gently restrains me and again emphasises that I need to trust them.

‘It’ll be okay,’ he says, staring right into my eyes.

It’s obvious something is going on and I’m not party to it. I try to breathe calmly and reassure myself that if Zoe is involved then it can’t be that bad. She wouldn’t put her gran in any sort of danger and she wouldn’t knowingly upset her grandfather. I just wish I could be absolutely sure.

Mum emerges with her entourage and reads her phone, declaring that he’s here and waiting at the bar. I immediately try to get up again and once more am restrained. Patty tells Mum she looks lovely, while Zoe tells her to have fun but simply head to the bathroom if she feels at all uncomfortable. They then leave her to head down the stairs to the bar on her own.

‘You have to tell me what’s happening,’ I tell Patty when she gets back to the table. I’m now not only worried, I’m angry that this has gone so far.

This time Zoe comes over to me and puts her hands on my shoulders.

‘Give her ten minutes and then we’ll go take a look,’ she says. ‘I promise Gran is okay.’

Charlie tries to keep the conversation light for those ten minutes but everyone can tell the humour is forced and I’m practically destroying my hands as I chew my fingernails off. Michael doesn’t take his eyes off me but he can’t get close as Charlie and Josie have him surrounded. I see him check his watch and declare, ‘Okay, that’s close enough to ten minutes. Angie needs to know her mum is safe.’

‘Let me just check something,’ says Patty, getting out her phone and reading something. ‘Okay, let’s go take a look.’

I try to remain calm as I scrape back the chair. Michael heads straight for me and holds my hand as we all head to the balcony of the mezzanine and peer down to the bar. The lighting is dimmed down there but I can see Mum sitting at the bar with her back to us. Opposite her is a man who looks awfully familiar.

‘Is that . . . ?’ I turn to Patty.

‘Marti Pellow,’ she says, nodding. ‘Or Dougie Campbell as he’s known to his friends.’

‘Dougie doesn’t have quite the same ring as Marti does it?’ says Charlie. ‘Although he’s quite handsome.’

‘Greyer than I remember,’ I add.

‘He always retouches the old roots before he gets on stage,’ Patty says. ‘I thought he’d be better off keeping it grey for this gig.’

‘Gig? You mean you hired him?’ The penny has now dropped.

‘Of course,’ she says. ‘His brief is to have your mum running back into the arms of your dad.’

‘Not sure how that’s going to work,’ I say, relieved that this isn’t a real date but still not sure how he’s not going to leave Mum wanting more; they both seem to be talking and laughing amiably. ‘They look quite happy at the moment.’

‘Watch and wait,’ says Patty again, checking her watch.

* * *

Marti aka Dougie clicks his finger for the barman to come over and orders another drink. When it arrives he appears to be asking Mum if she’ll pay. I can see she looks surprised but gets her purse out and taps a card on the reader. Marti downs his drink quickly and then as Mum is sipping hers, he gently runs a finger down her arm. Mum gives a little shiver and I can’t tell whether she’s enjoying it or not. Then Marti adjusts his seat so that he’s closer to Mum, very close in fact, and I can tell from her body language that she’s not comfortable.

‘He’s not going to distress her just to put her off dating, is he?’ I ask. ‘I don’t want the evening to end badly.’

I’m thinking not only of Mum but of this stag night — surely Charlie doesn’t want to spend his evening watching a woman being humiliated?

‘It won’t,’ he whispers to me.

Marti puts his hand on Mum’s leg and at that moment, the door to the bar bursts open and the other stag do walks in with Dad and Peter striding side by side at the front. Their group costume is evidently cowboy as Dad is in a huge Stetson with a holster slung low around his hips. He looks just like Mum’s hero — Gary Cooper in High Noon.

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