Page 46 of Crown of Chaos

I shivered as he dropped the heavy chest plate. The sound was deafening within the hushed room, and his ragged breathing had mine mirroring it. He yanked at the silver chainmail, hoisting it over his head, sending it sailing toward the wall, shattering some artifacts as it collided. He pushed his palms through the sandy-colored, his disheveled strands.

“You fucking coward,” he whispered, grinding his teeth together, furiously pacing in front of me. “Face me, Aria,” Knox challenged as second before he rattled so fiercely I almost dropped to my knees.

When I failed to appear, he growled his resentment and spun, staring straight at me. Silently, I edged closer, sighing with relief when his gaze didn’t track me. He chuckled with cold malice, which caused the hair on my collar to rise and my heart to constrict. Turning on his heel, he stormed to a large chest sitting beside the mantelpiece, plucked something from it, then turned to the fireplace, where the wandering flames seemed to inch forward as if drawn to him.

“This is what you’re looking for, isn’t it? You want to know how to construct another realm? It’s right fucking here in this book. If you want it, then come fucking get it from me, Aria.” He rattled while he peered into the orange-red flames before his pensive gaze turned to search for me beyond the barrier. He looked drained and betrayed by what I had done. I wanted to explain what had happened and that I loathed myself for what I’d done.

Knox had the book dangerously close to the blaze, which was the only way to destroy the knowledge forever. Once, I’d asked the library where the book could be or if it had been destroyed. When it hadn’t answered or responded, I altered my wording, asking if something could have happened to the book. I’d barely gotten the question out before a book dropped onto my lap. It was a codex of demons, open to the entry on the ifrit.

“Are you too fucking scared to face what you’ve done, to look me in the eye and tell me the truth? You are no better than we are, Aria. Now you’re just a coward who won’t own up to her fucking crimes.”

“Knox,” I murmured, but he didn’t hear me through the barrier.

He wasn’t wrong. I understood what he’d yelled to the center of my conscience. I snapped my fingers, removing all traces of the research, and dropped the illusion so he could see me. Knox’s heated gaze glided over me before he bought the book up for me to see and laughed wickedly.

“Please don’t do that, Knox,” I pleaded gently. I resisted the increasing hysteria over losing that tome to the fire. “Don’t do it. I—just, please don’t destroy that one.”

Knox issued an ominous growl, stared right at me, and flung the book into the fireplace. “Did you honestly think I wasn’t aware of what you sought within the Library of Knowledge? You must think me a fool, is that it? I have known what you sought since the first time I caught you wondering inmylibrary. Did you know your grandmother once tried to find the same book? The library denied her access to what she sought as well.”

Tears flooded my eyes, and I fought the yearning to burst through the barrier to rescue the pages before the fire completely consumed them. My fingers shuddered, and I swayed my head, silently shattering while my future slowly burned.

“I was going to make a realm safe for the children, so they wouldn’t fear laughing too loudly or being discovered and killed,” I whispered brokenly. I hugged my stomach as the graceful flames moved over the pieces of parchment, curling them before turning them black, hungrily devouring their words and wisdom.

“You’re not a fucking god, woman. That isn’t something even you are strong enough to achieve. Besides, if it were possible, don’t you think we’d have already accomplished it? Do you think we didn’t consider options when your bloodline bailed, fleeing this place to abandon us to what their mother had done here? Did you think we lingered here while the witches destroyed our people and slaughtered our offspring because we just didn’t want to leave?Answer me!”he snarled, making me jerk and tense against the rage cascading from him.

“No, I don’t think you’re stupid. How am I supposed to find answers when no one tells me anything? I’m treated like a monster by everyone inside this hellish place, including you. When I ask you about these things, you smile or change the subject. Aurora tells me if I am meant to know, I’ll be told. So how the hell am I supposed to know anything? I merely sought a place safe for children, so they could live without fear, without ending up collateral fucking damage in this war!”

He grumbled while drifting closer to where I stood. My attention flickered to the book, which wasn’t anything more than embers, and with it, my hope of a new realm. There was violence within his gaze that worried me. That wasn’t the most terrifying thing, though. Beneath the false sense of calmness he exhibited, deadly promise and rage simmered. Desire to punish me blazed in his turbulent, glittering sea-blue glare.

“Answers? Here’s one for you. If you had found that book and erected a new realm, another realm, along with everyone in it, would have died to create it. You’d have murdered an entire realm to secure a location, for what? A few innocent children you deemed worth saving? What about the others? Nah, you didn’t stop to think about anything other than what your people needed. Magic comes at a cost, and you comprehend that better than anyone else. The library hid the book from you because it perceived you as a threat and it wasn’t wrong.”

Knox laughed darkly, and his frame shook from the intensity of it. When his palm struck the barrier, I shot back, wide eyed as I watched the barrier ripple under the assault. It was waning, which meant I didn’t have the time I’d thought I would. Knox’s anger fueled the air with a scent of an impending storm.

His smirk was ruthless, as if he’d caught it, too. He leaned against the barrier, placing his palms flat against and flooding it with the wrath of his anger. Knox exhaled, staring into my soul as if he could devour it entirely.

“Lie to me and say you didn’t butcher those people,” he murmured as his chest heaved and his scowl blazed with viciousness. “Gods damn it, Aria!” He exploded, shoving away and stepping deeper into his room only to spin around and peg me with an agonized expression before driving his fingers through his hair.

“They were feeding witches to their hounds forentertainment,” I shouted, not bothering to hold back my anger. It also didn’t help that him destroying that specific volume had devastated me. I’d endured him and his people treating me like I was a pet and had nothing to show for it.

My breathing was as ragged as his, and I rattled low. Folding my hands into fists at my sides, I struggled through the emotions roiling through me. Yes, I’d carry that child with me to my grave, and I deserved it, rightly so. I wasn’t sorry about executing the lord, his witch, or his guards since they’d been pure evil in the truest sense.

His cheek jumped and a muscle in his jaw ticked with the fury that he didn’t work to mask. There was something terrifyingly beautiful about Knox when wrath smoldered in his eyes. He stepped away as if he couldn’t trust himself near me. Black contours encircled Knox’s irises, and the sea-blue glittered vibrantly. His fingers shifted, turning the hue of freshly polished obsidian.

“I was fucking dealing with them!” he thundered loudly enough that it shook my bones. The entire room rattled with the pressure, enticing my body to accompany the trembling. “Do you think I can’t control my fucking people? I was handling the issue, but something more important came up.”

“They killed all the children! They invaded my haven. The place I had assured the witches and children I’d gathered would be safe. I left it protected, and guarded even so, they died. I gave them my vow, Knox.Me!I promised they wouldn’t need to fear being hunted down and murdered for simply being labeled evil because they’d been spawned from a cursed breed. I told them to trust inme, and that I’d keep them secure. But I was here losing my babies while your lord had those kids massacred! I lost everything, and all I’ve accomplished is unraveling. I can’t catch my fucking breath anymore. Every time I find my footing, someone kicks it out from under me!” My tears ran freely, and he lifted his eyes to the ceiling before dropping them to hold mine.

“Not by my people, Aria.” He sighed furiously. “My guysdid not massacre the kids. A witch drove a blade through the hearts of those children. You alone slaughtered innocent lives that night.” His tone was bitter as he smoothed his palms down his face. “Those witches you sought to save? A beast didn’t eat them because my men had already rescued them and had taken somewhere safe.”

“What?” My forehead wrinkled, and I jerked back as if someone had struck me physically. Then inky shadows splotched and filled my vision, as lightheadedness threatened to steal my consciousness. I argued in my head, and denial soared to the tip of my tongue, demanding I eliminate it, but I pushed it down.

The world convulsed around me, and I tried to inhale with lungs made of cement. His declaration pounded through my skull, crashing against every cell. Nausea churned, and I battled the panic attack trying to sink its claws into my lungs. I gulped loudly, shaking so hard that I thought the room was collapsing.

Holy shit,Iwas a villain!

Knox’s people hadn’t murdered the kids or the witches.

That witch had lied, and I’d blindly believed her because she told me what I wanted to hear. I had ended their lives, and I hadn’t offered a shred of mercy.

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