Page 45 of Crown of Chaos

“They’ve killed thousands of ours,” Siobhan whispered, placing her hand on my shoulder, causing me to jerk in response.

“That is them! It’s what they do, not us.Idid this!” My breathing became ragged, and I had to focus to stop myself from hyperventilating.

“Surely you did not assume you’d make it through this war without ending innocent lives, did you?” Esme asked, searching my face until she realized I had. “Oh, shit. You did, didn’t you? That’s an impossible and unrealistic dream. You cannot wage war and avoid everyone who ends up caught in the crossfire. It isn’t possible, Aria. You attacked a dwelling with bad people inside, and yeah, some shit happened. I’m confident there were a few more blameless creatures here as well. But it doesn’t change the fact that the boy was in a keep where they were torturing innocents and feeding them to their dog for entertainment.”

“It doesn’t make this right. Nothing you say or do will change that. This was wrong. You and I both know it, so we shouldn’t try to dress it up or justify what I just did.”

I nodded, knowing Knox had told me something similar about preventing the death of innocents. Hadn’t I promised him I wouldn’t murder blindly when I’d been murdering entire keeps, castles, and villages? Yes. Had there been good people inside? I didn’t honestly know that answer. This was the first time I’d stayed to face the consequences of my actions.

“This can’t happen right now.” I shoved my fingers into my hair, yanking on it until a sting danced over my scalp. “This isn’t me, and I cannot become a monster who can end the lives of children, because if I am, then I’m no better than lord of this keep or the witch who stood with him,” I whispered. “I won’t be a creature who willingly ends any child’s life.”

“The only way to ensure that never happens is to scour the place you wish to assault before you lay siege to it,” Siobhan pointed out, her forehead creasing in concern as I nodded.

“Then that’s what we shall do,” I announced, wiping the silent tears away from my eyes, looking over the rubble and destruction I’d wrought.

“Next time, maybe keep shit like you said a few minutes ago to yourself, Esme? Battle is messy, Aria. Mistakes are more so, but you can learn from this, I suppose,” Soraya muttered crossly. “Where to now?”

Defeat wafted over me, and I felt emotionally drained. I’d failed to protect those I’d vowed to keep safe, and failure seemed like the only thing I could depend on at the moment. “We’ll go to the library and rest for a few days. We can start scrying, and using other means to search for them. Siobhan, you mentioned a seer who could locate the entrance to the Kingdom of Fire, or Aden. I think it’s time we focus on that, too. The library is safe, and we should be able to recover while we search for things.”

“Is the library safe?” Avyanna questioned carefully.

“It should be. We have a little while longer before the barrier weakens.”

I opened the portal into the library, whispering the spell to shield our presence from Knox before casting one last look at the child and taking in his delicate features. The boy was older than I first thought, but that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking that he had lost his life. Regret settled like molten iron over my soul. If I couldn’t learn to accept what had to be done, I’d already lost the war. That was a sobering thought. In my lifetime of planning and calculating my course, I never considered that I would do something so horrid while fueled with anger. I had, and I now had to figure out how to live with it.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Days of uneasy silence hadpassed within the library. Knox hadn’t returned in almost an entire week, and that was worrisome. Fear and theories swirled through my mind, ranging from Knox avoiding the room because he blamed me for the death of our daughters to him having gone off to fight Hecate. Or worse, discovering the destruction I’d unleashed, and plotting my demise. Neither of us was strong enough to manage that feat alone, and it terrified me to even entertain the idea that he’d left here seeking to face the bitch.

I’d spent the silent days pouring through the heavy tomes the library provided. Instead of reading them, I’d concocted a spell to consume the knowledge by merely holding my palm over the pages. Considering the sheer volume of information and my dwindling window of time, I’d needed to expedite my search for the information on how to create a new realm or where the Keepers might be hidden. Knowledge was power, and the moment the barrier dropped, I would lose all access to the tombs. The scent of freshly poured tea, and old books filled the space, creating a soothing environment to read in. Candles had been lit, adding the perfume of bergamot and sage to the air and easing the tension still weighing on me.

My finger paused over a passage when something caught my attention, and I squinted at the words. Sighing, I marked the map with the potential location of the next element. Thinning my gaze at the large map sprawled out on the table, I contemplated it thoroughly. Puckering my lips, I moved them toward my cheek while I compared the new location to where I’d marked the others. My eyes widened, and my heart stopped momentarily before thundering against my ribs.

I slid to the edge of my seat and leaned over the map. My head already ached from spending hours staring at moving words within the volumes I’d read. Exhaling, I slid my finger around the points. With my pen, I slowly connected the points of the six-pointed star, and pursed my lips. A river crudely followed the markings, and I forced out a strangled noise of frustration at my inability to see it before. The triangles that overlapped pointed to strongholds that held the elements, two of which I’d already collected.

I’d overlooked the obvious, which should have been idiot proof, really.

Taking a moment, I scanned the river’s path as it curved, branching off to other channels. My finger slid over the artwork and stopped on the palace in the middle of the map, where each body of water ended. Blinking slowly, the air escaped my lungs, and I stared at the grid I’d drawn. My finger followed the water back on the map, sliding past the elemental, and over a waterfall that fed the water back to ocean. A quick scan revealed they all took similar paths, ending at the ocean. A loud snort escaped when I took in the map as a whole, noting that she’d used it all. Hecate had used everything she’d had at her disposal, including the ocean that surrounded the realms. She’s used all nine of them, using the power she needed, while creating a dam like system to bring the magic back continually to her kingdom.

“That is impossible,” I whispered breathlessly.

The star created a net over the entire Nine Realms, and each one of the six points housed the element. The rivers circled them and then flowed throughout the land, connecting into one large channel that fed into the Kingdom of Vãkya. She’d created a magic grid, which continually ran through the elementals and delivered continuous magic to Vãkya and herself.

Hecate had created a magic system over the one that had been in the Nine Realms prior to her arrival. Her incessant need for trade hadn’t ever made sense before since she didn’t need it to rule over them, but she’d needed access to their realms. Once she’d gotten it, she’d crafted leylines in the waterways and used them as conduits to pull power from the elements. She’d basically created an intricate channel of power which fed her kingdom, ensuring it was the most powerful of all realms. Hecate hadn’t merely cursed or weakened those who lived inside the Nine Realms. She’d nullified them, forcing them to weaken while she siphoned their magic to her and then stored it in the witches so she could use it when she needed it. The witches she’d added to her grids were power points she used to tap when she needed a jolt of power. Like backup batteries.

“Son of a bitch!” I chuckled, curving my lips into a cheesy grin. Releasing a whooping noise, I bounced on my seat in victory over what I’d discovered. The sound of people floated up through the window, forcing my attention away from what I’d discovered. The tone of their cries changed from jubilation to something worrisome the longer I listened.

Pushing up from the chair, I started toward the window, but hesitated. Tilting my head, my eyes narrowed to slits, and my stomach twisted. Turning in place, I faced the doorway with queasiness that flooded my stomach. Rooted in place, I felt my cheeks heating with guilt, knowing they had apprised him of my deeds by now, and if he’d returned, he’d seek me out directly. Flicking my hand through the air, I cleared the map and books I’d been scouring for information on how to create the realm, and hints for where the other elementals would be located.

Knox’s return had butterfly wings batting against my insides. The relief was short lived, though, because the angry sound of footsteps moving through the outer corridor echoed to where I stood. Terror wrapped around me, constricting my throat at the thought of the coming confrontation.

After a moment, the door lurched open, and Knox arrived with his fists clasped at his sides. He issued a resounding snarl, instantly occupying the space with his otherworldly presence. His angry strides moved directly to the barrier, rage pouring from him in bitter waves that were strong enough to make it to my nose. He trembled with fury, and my heart stuttered, halting at the fierce expression in his gaze.

“Aria!” Knox snarled, smashing his hands against the shield, which made it shudder beneath the pressure of his angry slap. “Tell me you didn’t do this!”

I tried to gulp down the pain, but regret was a dam in my throat.

“I know you’re there,” he hissed coldly. Knox dragged his helmet off, flung it to the floor, and started tearing off his armor. “Explain to me how you’re not the one who set siege to a keep on my lands. I need to hear you say that you didn’t massacre innocent souls in your grief.”

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