Page 66 of Sebastian

“There’s no running, Em, unless it’s to catch you for forever.”

He leaned in and kissed her. There was something lighter in his chest, now that she knew about his last mission. “Last night you told me I’d seen all of you. Now you’ve seen all of me too, Sprinkles. All the way to the darkest corner of my soul.”

* * *

Her heart broke for Sebastian. She’d gotten it so wrong right from the start. Here she’d believed everything that had been reported about him. Playboy. Ruthless businessman. Heart breaker. He truly was the farthest thing from any of that, and she felt guilty for ever giving him a hard time.

“Do you think you want to talk to Gage when we get back?” he asked as he cut into the steak he’d ordered for lunch. She’d gone with the fish and chips and embarrassed herself with the moan that came from her throat as she tasted the first bite. The food there was absolutely delicious and she was going to work hard to convince Sal to put the dish on his menu when they went back home.

“You really feel like there’s a chance we could find her?” Emma pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth, and Seb’s hand automatically jumped, running his finger along the battered, plump skin.

“I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tell you we should look. If anyone can find her, it’s Gage.” Emma set her fork down, her hands twisting together as she placed them on her lap. “What do you think, Sprinkles?”

“I’m scared,” she admitted. “I’m scared to start hoping again.”

“Em…”

She shook her head. “I’m scared to hold out hope, but more than that, I’m terrified to know that I’ve been living life, making a home for myself, thinking that she was at least somewhere warm, and loved. But what if…” her voice caught in her throat. “What if that wasn’t the case, Seb? What if she hasn’t been with a family that loves her? What if she’s somewhere lonely and cold? What if he sold her into something so dark and danger?—“

“You can’t think like that, Em.” Sebastian interrupted her downward spiral, his hand finding the small of her back. “Don’t let those thoughts eat away at you. We talk to Gage, and then we get the information. Keep your mind here, with me.”

“I want to find her, more than I want my next breath. I think we better get back so I can tell Gage what happened.”

Twenty

“I need your help with something, but I’m not sure I can say it out loud.” Emma threw her body down on the sofa next to Gage, who let out a groan as his coffee sloshed back and forth in the mug he was holding.

“Okay,” he elongated the word so it lasted several seconds, his eyes crinkling in the corners with concern.

“Gage, I mean it. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve gotten so close so fast with you protecting me, but I feel like all of you guys are the brothers I never had. This is…this is a lot. It’s too much. It’s the thing that threatens to swallow me up into darkness and never let go.”

“More than Marco?” His eyes grew wide when she nodded.

“More than Marco. I can’t breathe when I think of her. I can’t be strong, or contain my tears.”

Gage rubbed his free hand up and down her arm. “I want to know. I want to help you, no matter what it is. But I have to ask…does Sebastian know?”

She nodded. “Seb knows, and he’s been very vocal about his thoughts on me telling all of you guys, but I don’t think I can. I thought if I told you, maybe you could tell the others?” Emma pulled her bottom lip through her teeth. “But now I’m not sure I’m strong enough.”

He cleared his throat, rubbing a hand down his face as he sat back against the cushions, putting distance between them. “If it would help, I could tell you about the darkness that threatens to swallow me up whole.”

A painful tightness settled in Emma’s chest. “You? How is that possible? You’re so funny and carefree. A total hard-ass when it comes to safety, but a big squish otherwise.”

“A big squish? Jesus, don’t let the other guys hear you say that.” He looked into her eyes. “You’ve seen what I wanted you to see, Emma. Everyone has scars.”

“I want to know. Please. Will you tell me?”

Gage took in a sharp breath, his eyes shifting from the rugged strength Emma was so used to seeing to overwhelming grief.

“I was married. I had a son.” Emma’s eyes went wide, her heart frozen mid-beat waiting for Gage to explain why he’d said those things as past tense. “Five years ago, my wife, Melody, and my two-year-old son, Mikey, came to base to say goodbye to me before I was deployed. It was going to be a short trip overseas and back, but Mikey loved saying goodbye to the team. He had the brightest smile and waved his little American flag back and forth with such excitement. I kissed them both goodbye and sent them on their way home while we loaded onto the aircraft.” Gage closed his eyes, lifting his face towards the ceiling before continuing. “We lived thirty minutes from base, and about twenty minutes into their trip home, they were killed by a drunk driver.”

“Oh, Gage.” Her hand went to his arm and she held on tightly, pouring strength into him.

“I was on the plane when it happened, didn’t even know they were gone until I’d landed at a base in another country. The guys were all there, Gunner and Stone had to physically hold me up when my body stopped working from the shock.”

He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I got out of the military as fast as I could. I blamed my career choice for their deaths. I blamed the drunk driver, too, of course. But if I hadn’t been deploying, they wouldn’t have been driving home that afternoon. They wouldn’t have been on the road. They’d still be here.”

“If you gave up your career, why come back to work for Seb? To be back on a team with the guys?”

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