“Justin, it’s a prank from my ex-girlfriend. I’ll be out in a moment,” Alec snapped and paused at the pained yet scared look in her eyes. “Actually, give me five minutes.”
“You got it. Do you need anything, brother?”
“No,” he replied simply and looked at her, unplugging his radio. “What are you doing, Willow?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“We don’t talk. We argue.”
“We used to.”
“That was before…”
“Before when you…” she began, and he cut her off.
“Before you shut me down and left. You left, remember?”
“I left for college, Alec.”
“You told me you wanted to grow, have fun, and live life – and apparently, that didn’t include me. Let’s be honest, you broke it off because you wanted to see other people, get drunk, and…”
“I broke it off because I was scared,” Willow whispered, her eyes shining. “I wasn’t ready to have a serious relationship but you come on strong, Alec. Eighteen was too young to be married in my mind, and I knew you were going to ask me. I felt so pressured, like I had to choose between you or going to college… so I chose me.”
A tear streaked down her pale face and landed on the red satin, making him swallow as awareness hit him like a ton of bricks. Willow was telling him the truth, and it was there, written all over her face. She had been scared? Why didn’t she say something?
Yes, he had mentioned marriage a few times, and it was shocking to think that it had driven her from him before he could pop the question. That was not the reaction he’d anticipated. She could have said ‘no’ or ‘let’s have a long engagement’ or ‘maybe after college’ – but obviously, when she felt panicked to the point that he’d driven her, she bolted and blew up the bridge behind her in the form of self-preservation.
A very unhealthy form of it.
“I chose me, Alec - because I was scared and didn’t feel like an adult. I felt like a kid in a grown-up’s body, and my world was moving way too fast. I still needed to do things, to grow, and I was…” her voice faded as she grabbed a napkin in the center of the table, wiping her face, openly choked up now.
He knew her and realized she was barely hanging on. She was putting herself out there to him, opening up and reaching for him. This was the most productive conversation they’d had in years.
“You were scared,” he finished quietly, still not sitting down. “So why now? Why me? Why are you reaching out after all this time?”
“It’s never sat right with me what happened,” she began in a hushed voice. “I knew how badly we ended things that night. I hated making you cry, feeling like I’d ripped out a part of my soul…”
“You did,” he interrupted. “You hurt me and destroyed what we had.”
“I know…”
It was those two silently spoken words that left him gutted and angry at the same time. Like throwing lighter fluid on a flame, he wanted to rage at her, to tell her that every date he’d gone on since her had ended badly because she’d left a hole in him. No one would ever compare, and it took him a long time to trust people – because of her.
“And I’m so sorry, Alec,” she finally whispered. “I feel more secure in my life, who I am, and realized just how much I miss the friendship we once had.”
He swallowed, trying to keep all the sarcastic comments from spewing out of him as he stared at her. Neither said a thing for several moments until she weakly pointed at the cookies in the center of the table.
“Do you still like Samoas? I bought several boxes for you from the Girl Scout troop set up in front of the I.G.A. – they are like little terrorists jumping out at me, and I don’t dare skip buying because of the upcoming election. I’ve got a wide selection of cookies in every flavor imaginable,” she smiled wanly, trying to crack a joke to lighten the mood.
He needed to think – and couldn’t. It was all too much. The way she was opening up, speaking to him, all that skin, and her eyes… oh, he missed her beautiful eyes!
“I’ve got to go,” he said hoarsely. “I’m working and this isn’t something that is going to be fixed between us within five minutes or by some little stunt – and sure shouldn’t be handled while I’m on duty. These prank calls come with fines and…”
“I know.”
“But you did this anyway?”
“I wanted to ask you over for dinner… maybe we could talk?”