Page 131 of The Life-Changing Magic of Falling in Love

And then George is gently tipping my face towards his. Our eyes meet and he tells me, simply, ‘You’ve got this.’

He’s so confident I find myself rising on unsteady feet, my hand clenched around the microphone. My gaze connects with Sarah and Jasmine’s mother, Shelley-Ann, and I go blank until I feel George take my free hand, tangle his fingers with mine and squeeze and somehow, I begin. ‘I met Jasmine the day I pushed her sister, Sarah, into the duck pond on the corner of Maple and Third. It was a total accident – knocking Sarah into the pond, not meeting Jasmine…’ There’s good-natured laughter but it’s George’s deep rumble that helps me form a smile around my words so that they sound less wooden. ‘Even dripping wet and smelling of pond weed I recognised her as the girl my age who’d moved in across from our house the day before. Believe me, this was not how I’d intended for us to meet and become best friends. I tried explaining it was all Billy Jenkins’ fault. If the boy hadn’t been so beautiful to look at, I would have been looking where I was going. I even offered to jump into the pond so that we matched. Of course when she said that would be okay by her, I decided we weren’t destined to become best friends after all because, obviously, she wasn’t supposed to agree with me.’

There’s more laughter. Maybe George is right about me doing stand-up. ‘While Sarah waited for me to jump fully clothed into the pond, she informed me I sucked, the town sucked, her entire life sucked and, worse, it was only going to suck harder when her sister discovered she’d,’ I raise my fingers to finger-quote, ‘borrowed her brand-new training bra to wear that morning and it was now ruined. Sorry, Jasmine,’ I say, sneaking a look at the bride who is smiling warmly at her husband as he smiles warmly at her chest area, making everyone laugh again.

In the warm, convivial atmosphere of the room, I continue, remembering the day as if it was yesterday. ‘It seemed my fate was sealed and I was definitely going to jump in and meet my watery end. That is, until beautiful Billy Jenkins rode past us again and Sarah suddenly decided if I could get her sister a date with him instead, she might survive the summer. And so that’s how I met Jasmine – by sacrificing what I’m sure would have been a long and lasting relationship with Billy, had he ever once glanced my way. Jasmine went out with Billy five times before dumping him, leaving him heartbroken and only more attractive to Sarah and me. But the coolest thing about Jasmine was that she didn’t kill Sarah then, or any of the other times the two of us accidentally mortified her, which meant Sarah and I got to become best friends and stay best friends.’ I drag in a breath, drowning in sudden emotion and my voice is wobbly as I glance at Jasmine and her new husband, Rob, and then the rest of Sarah’s family. ‘Sarah would have loved seeing you all so happy. Would have loved being here to share this special day with you. Would, let’s face it, probably be a little inebriated by now, and therefore less circumspect about having to wear a bridesmaid’s dress in lemon yellow chiffon despite being a ginger. But even in lemon yellow chiffon she’d have looked so stunning that a guy as beautiful as Billy would have wanted to whisk her off her feet. I can’t believe she’s never going to get the chance to get her Billy Jenkins. Or to get married. Or to do any of the—’ I stop, swallow, as I fumble my words. ‘Sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I meant to stay in the present, t-to?—’

‘To the bride and groom,’ George finishes for me, holding up his glass.

People are too slow to respond. Quiet, as they look at one another.

I’ve somehow done what I didn’t want to and changed the energy.

‘Um, speaking of presents,’ George says again, ‘why don’t you open this one…’ and he gets up, grabs a gift from the gift table and hands it to them.

Even through the sheen of tears I recognise the plain brown paper wrapping. ‘George?’ I grab his hand in horror as the alcohol inside burns like acid in my throat. ‘How is that parcel here?’

‘What do you mean? I picked it up with everything else when I loaded the car.’

‘You didn’t. No, please. I—’ I squeeze my eyes shut as the bride and groom open the gift.

You can hear a pin drop.

No, it’s worse … I hear Jasmine’s quick intake of breath as my angel wings collage is unveiled and then I can hear George whispering, ‘Well, damn. I was convinced it was a cheesy album cover with a silly frog on it or something.’

* * *

I’m leaning against the treehouse ladder, trying not to hurl when George finds me.

‘Ashleigh, they loved the angel wings. If the piece you’re making for me is half as good, my brother is going to be one lucky?—’

‘It wasn’t for them,’ I interrupt. ‘It was for Oscars’ gallery wall because who wants a reminder their loved one isn’t there on their big day? Bad enough I ruined everything with my speech.’

‘You didn’t. You acknowledged their loss in a beautiful way. It didn’t take away – it gave.’

‘Don’t be nice to me.’ My shoulder digs into the rough wooden ladder. ‘You don’t get it.’

‘Then explain so that I do.’

‘I can’t. I can’t tell anyone.’

‘What’s the point of having friends if you can’t be real with them?’

‘That’s just it, George. I’m an awful friend.’

Behind me I hear George laugh. ‘What a load of bollocks!’

‘Well, prepare to be even more bollocksed because?—’

‘That’s not really how we use that word, but—’ George must see my hands clench into fists because he says, ‘So not the point. You were saying…?’

‘I stomp all over what my friends really want and make it into what I want. You think I saved Carlos and Oz and Oscars? Well, what if I didn’t do it for them, but for me? So that I wouldn’t lose them too? And do you know how many times I tried talking Zach into going into business for himself despite him telling me repeatedly he’d changed his mind? That’s not being a good friend, George. That’s called being selfish. Come on, even you think I’m just trying to “save” you with going on about the job at the hospital?’ God, have I been doing that in some warped way of trying to keep George here? That’s really bad. ‘Good friends listen. I don’t listen, George. I didn’t listen to Sarah and now she’s dead.’

‘You can’t really believe that.’

‘If I’d listened, she wouldn’t have still been in the city, with me. She’d have been back here. Safe. Like she wanted to be.’

‘Safe? Did something happen before the accident?’

---