Page 24 of Save You

“I am clean, thank you, Sadie!” he growls through clenched teeth.

“Ok!” she mouths, mocking him with her sarcastic response.

Tom looks almost murderous as he stares at her for another few tense moments. He then glances back at me with a strange look on his face, like I too, have insulted him. I say nothing and end up looking away, feeling too uncomfortable to maintain his eye contact. By the time I look back up, he’s already left, and is now slamming the front door.

Consequently, my little man upstairs wakes up and begins screaming for me. I screw my face up and sigh in frustration before dragging myself out of the chair. It’s a good few hours before I manage to get Mal back to sleep, so I end up staying up there with him, giving in, and trying to get an early night.

I thought, or rather I hoped, I’d fall asleep quickly, given how tired I feel, but I don’t. Images of what Tom is probably doing with someone else at this very moment swirl around inside my head, taunting me with naked flesh, kissing, and words of affection between him and a faceless woman.

My imagination runs rife as I think about their lips on each other’s bodies, his fingers running along her soft skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His erection, hard and desperate to enter her warmth. My discomfort eventually morphs into something else when the woman I am picturing him with becomes me with my body writhing underneath of his. I blush when I feel a wetness below, soaking my panties with shameful arousal for my friend and savior.

It becomes so bad, I have to get up and walk around for a bit to shake off these lustful thoughts before going into the bathroom to change. Before I get back into bed, I check on Mal, then grab a baby care book to look at, hoping it will be enough to bore me into a quick slumber. The content is more than dull, and no longer necessary for me to read, but it takes my mind off things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Fortunately, it works, and eventually, I blackout.

I barely feel like I’ve slept at all when I wake up, especially as it’s still pitch-black outside. I shuffle upward, inwardly groaning over the fact I will have to try something else to get back to sleep again. However, when I look out toward Mal’s crib, a shadowy figure blocks my view; it’s perched on the end of my bed. I open my mouth to scream, fearing the worst and wondering if Carl has finally caught up with me, and what trail of destruction has he left behind in his quest to come and find me here.

I take in a deep breath and smell a familiar scent, one of musky cologne and citrus fruit, and slump my shoulders with relief. This isn’t a monster before me, it’s Tom. But why is he here, in my room? Perhaps he’s drunk and has stumbled in here, thinking it’s his room instead of mine.

“Tom?” I murmur cautiously across the distance between us. My voice sounds unnatural in the darkness, like I’m stuck inside of a dream, but when I reach over to touch his back, he’s solid, real, and sighing heavily.

“What’s wrong?” I sit fully upright and stare at his hunched back, worrying that something terrible has happened.

“You remember when we came up with the plan to fake a marriage?” he eventually says, but still with his back to me. “And you said if I found someone I wanted to settle down with, that I should tell you?”

“Yes,” I almost whisper, looking down at my hands now knotting anxiously together. So, it’s finally come. The time I’ve been dreading, the day Tom tells me he has found someone he wants to settle down with, and that it’s time for me and Mal to move on. He now has other plans, ones which involve someone new, someone he loves, someone who’s not me.

“Have you met someone, Tom?”

He laughs softly as if in disbelief, almost like he feels guilty about it. But he shouldn’t. This was bound to happen; I saw it the very night he suggested our fake marriage. I just didn’t realize I would fall for him in the meantime.

“It’s ok, Tom, I understand. You’ve already done so much for me and Mal,” I try to reassure him the best that I can, even if I’m having to gulp back the hard lump inside of my throat. “If you could give me a few more weeks, I can be out of here-”

“No,” he cuts me off at the same time as he finally turns to look at me, “you don’t understand.”

“I do, really, I do!” I try and smile, knowing it doesn’t look very convincing. “Of course, you were going to find someone. You…you’re amazing! Any girl would be lucky to have you. I wish-”

Before I can finish, Tom grabs my chin between his calloused fingers and slams his lips on top of mine. His eyes are closed tightly while mine stay open, frozen in shock, much like the rest of me.

His lips begin to move on top of mine, and they feel so warm I can no longer hold mine back anymore. I kiss him with all the want I have inside of me. I don’t fully understand what’s happening, but I do know I want him more than anything I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life. His hands reach around to pull me into him, resting firmly on my back as I crawl closer toward him on my knees and clasp my hands up to cup his beautiful face. It feels bristly under his light stubble, but his mouth is soft and begging me to let him in.

As our kiss deepens, Tom leans into me so that I am slowly falling back onto the mattress, and with him crawling over me as I slip beneath him. He lets out a deep, masculine groan as he slides between my legs, clawing at my body as I grip hold of his shoulders like he is my life and I’m fighting to keep hold of it.

Before we take this any further, he pulls back and looks at me with his eyes darting from side to side. He seems to study my face, all the while delivering little kisses on top of my features.

“I found someone a while ago, actually,” he whispers, “I found you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, Rose, I found you on a rainy night, waiting at a bus stop with no money and a sad story to tell,” he says before kissing my lips again, “and I tried to fight it, I really did.”

“Why?” Because I’m damaged? Because I come with baggage? Because I’m technically someone else’s wife?

“Because you deserve someone who is going to give you everything,” he sighs, “and I thought that couldn’t be me. I was scared of not being enough for you. You’re a mother for Christ’s sake!”

“I know, but…” Please don’t pull away from me now, it would all but destroy me.

“But I’m ready to try and be that man, Rose,” he says, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine, “to be everything you need me to be because…because…I love you!”

With tears of sublime happiness waiting to spill, I think of Mrs Topple, of all people. She’s going to be beyond smug about this. But I don’t care because Tom Taylor has just told me he loves me!

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