Page 25 of Save You

“Love me? But all the women?” I snap out of my ridiculous victory dance inside of my head and ask him what I have to, if only to stay sane if we continue down this path. I won’t lie, it hurts to think of how many women he’s been with while claiming to have been in love with me for all of this time.

“I haven’t been with a woman in months,” he laughs softly, looking almost embarrassed, before studying me for a reaction over his revelation. “I can’t do it anymore. Nothing works unless I think about you.”

“Oh,” I blush, biting my lips together so I don’t grin too widely, “so where have you-”

“The pub, a mate’s house, anywhere!” He pauses to kiss me again. “Anywhere to try and stop thinking about you. But I don’t want to anymore, I just want you!”

He’s still staring at me, waiting to read a reaction I haven’t yet made clear to him, even though my grip on his shoulders has only grown tighter through his whole confession. He eventually wipes away a few tears now falling over my cheeks.

“I hope these are happy tears?”

All I can do is nod, but still end up emitting a sob as he pulls me closer against his chest.

“Do you know how hard it’s been? Loving you and watching you go out night after night?” I whimper, only now able to say this because the dark is covering up his face.

“You love me too?” He pushes back and gives me one of those cheeky boy smiles that makes me giggle with embarrassment.

He starts to kiss me again, and our tongues soon find one another as we move greedily and desperately in a way I never did with Carl. He was an awful kisser, all aggressive and sloppy, but Tom feels like everything when he kisses me. I gasp when I feel his hardness pressing up against my groin, and his hands begin to push up the hem of my nightdress, trying to find one of my breasts. His touch feels tender, sensual, and my nipples pebble beneath his fingers. I lie almost rigid when he begins to pinch and roll it between his fingers, right before he takes it into his mouth. I am not frightened of Tom, only of how much more experienced he is than me.

His hand finds my other breast, and I emit a moan from the back of my throat, shocking me because I have never enjoyed this sort of thing before. I’ve never been with someone I feel strongly about or someone who has only wanted to pleasure instead of hurt me. I loosen up and run my fingers through his soft hair as his hands run over my skin and down to the straps of my panties. His lips soon follow, causing me to fidget underneath him.

He briefly pauses, seeking permission with his eyes, and as soon as I nod, he pulls the last of my clothing all the way down and spreads my legs apart. I feel beyond exposed and a heat spreading across my cheeks as he stares down at me, smiling at what he sees. His fingers find me first before he dives into me, using his tongue to run through me. I have never had this before, but now I wonder how I went my whole life without it. His tongue works quickly over a sensitive bundle of nerves so wildly, I practically scream when my orgasm hits me like a freight train.

“Christ, Rose! I want to…” he moves up and kisses me with my arousal still coating his lips. He’s grinding himself into me, desperate to release himself and sink inside. “Tell me to stop, Rose! I so want to be inside of you but tell me to stop!”

His mouth kisses at my neck as I try to form the words to tell him I want him just as much as he wants me. Having sex out of wedlock is still taboo, and even though Tom is more than happy with sleeping with married women, I know he is holding back for the sake of my modesty.

“I want you too, husband,” I whisper inside of his ear.

He stops, looks at me for permission that I’ve already given him, and within seconds, is unbuckling his belt and pulling everything down while I spread myself open for him. He slips between my legs, kissing me with animal lust and primitive urges that no longer care about social conventions or what anyone thinks, then slides right inside of me.

It stings because he’s not small…at all! He stretches me open, but it feels good, so good, and so right between us. Sex has always been a violent act for me in the past, but this is love, this is passion, this is everything.

“You, ok?” he whispers. “I’m so afraid of hurting you. I don’t want to be like he was.”

“You could never hurt me,” I whisper back, “you feel…amazing!”

His eyes become hooded as he takes my hands into his and begins rocking back and forth, building up slowly until my legs wrap around him, and his movements become harder and faster. He nuzzles his mouth into my neck and hisses as he thrusts at a punishing pace that soon has me reaching an explosive release.

As I cry out, he grabs the headboard behind me and thrusts deep and hard until at last, he reaches his own high. I feel his warmth escaping down my thigh as he relieves himself into me, growling as he does so. When we eventually come apart, we’re both panting and grinning at one another over what we’ve just done.

“I love you,” he says between kisses, “so much. I want you; I need you to be mine!”

“I am yours,” I giggle, “we’re even married to all intents and purposes.”

“I mean, I want a real marriage. I want you to be my real wife!” He pulls me back to him and kisses my forehead so tenderly, I know his words are completely genuine. “No more dicking around. I want you in my room, in my bed, everything!”

I reach up to stroke his cheek with both of us still feeling flushed, “I want that too.”

I wake up feeling…happy! I feel like I’m finally waking up to a new life, lost in a blissful state with the man I’m meant to be with, who will love me and my son. Tom has wrapped his body around mine like two vines coiling around one another, our own form of tropism. If I try to move, he grips on more tightly and I giggle; for the first time in my life, I feel safe. However, when I glance over at the clock, I nearly have a heart attack; it’s nearly nine o’clock!

“Tom! Tom!” I shout, tapping at his hand which is still holding onto my chest, “I need to get to Mal! Shit, what if something’s wrong? He’s usually up by now!” I look over to his cot-bed in the corner of the room. It’s eerily quiet, and the worst-case scenarios begin to run through my head, making me try even harder to wiggle free and go to him. “Tom, let me go, I need to get to him!”

“Hey, shh, he’s fine,” he whispers in my ear, “he woke earlier so I got him up, fed him, and asked Sadie to watch him for a while. He’s fine, I promise!”

It takes a moment or two for me to comprehend what he’s just said, with my body remaining tense for I don’t know how long. My natural instincts to get up and fight any monster for my child slowly ebb away, allowing both my heart and breathing rate to finally come back down to earth. The thought of anything happening to my little man is too much to bear; even now, I still feel dizzy.

“Oh, thank God!” I gasp. “I’m sorry, I just-”

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