Page 12 of Stay

Cole walks in clearing his throat. I swear the temp in the room plummets. My hands turn clammy. I feel sick to my stomach. “What next?” he asks, but his tone is harsher.

I match it because it’s easier than letting him see me crumble. “That one over there, and the lamp.”

He scoops up the box of bedding and my crappy floor lamp, then heads out again.

Jenna frowns as she watches him leave. “You’re making a mistake, babe.”

“I’ll be making a bigger one if I derail us.” It’s better this way. It’s got to be. I refuse to be a distraction for him, and I can’t let him be one for me. Our relationship worked great this year because it was easy. Life after college will be way harder.

I need to make something of myself before I try to make something for myself.

So yeah. This is goodbye.

Once Cole loads my truck up with all my shit, he’s covered in sweat and has taken his hoodie off. His bronze skin glistens with sweat, and his abs contract every time he takes a breath.

I’m going to miss every inch of him. His hard body, big heart, loud laugh, bold personality, the way he looks at me, the way he smells.

Stop. I can’t remind myself of all the wonderfulness I’m about to leave behind. My heart already feels shredded.

“Welp.” I stuff my hands in the back pockets of my shorts. “Thanks for everything.” I want to touch him, hug him. Tell him how I feel.

“Yeah. Thanks for everything.”

We stare at each other for so long, I almost buckle under the pressure. A huge part of me wants to derail my entire plan and follow him instead. That can’t happen.

My heart’s racing a mile a minute. My hands won’t stop shaking.

Heartbreak feels like a heart attack. I think I’m dying. Before I do something stupid like burst into tears and fall to my knees, I buck the fuck up and get this over with.

“So long, Cole.” With an awkward wave, I step away and climb into the driver’s seat, cringing because he doesn’t say a word back to me. Starting the engine, I see Cole stare at me in the rearview mirror. Ignoring the pain in my chest, I drive off.

Shit, I can barely see the road with how blurry my vision becomes.

Fuck these emotions. Fuck these tears.

I leave without looking back, because if I see Cole for even one fraction of a second longer, I’ll blow our futures up.

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” Glancing left, then right, before I make my turn on the main road, something in my passenger seat catches my attention.

Cole’s hoodie.

With a shaky hand, I pick it up and smell it.

My heart collapses…

“How long do you plan to stay?” Cole asks cautiously. The sexy basketball player in a hoodie and jeans is long gone. This new man is different. More rigid. I like the easy-going Cole much more than this one. Maybe he has his guard up and that’s why he looks so severe. I can’t blame him.

Or maybe he’s changed over the years, and this is who he is now.

Instead of saying what I want, I go with, “I’m staying for as long as I can.”

He takes another step back from me, nodding as he stares at the floor. He seems to contemplate what his next words should be, and since I’m too fucking scared to hear them, I jump in and change the topic. “What do you think of walls? Can they come down?”

After a measured pause, he takes the bait. “Yeah. It shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll get some measurements and we can work through the details later.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away from me, going further into my new office space. “This is going to cost a pretty penny to build how you want it.”

“I know.”

“It’s going to take time, too.” His warning is clear. I’ll have to stick around if I want this.

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