Page 10 of Stay

Haley

What am I doing? What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING?

I shouldn’t have made an appointment at his office like that. I shouldn’t have brought him here, either. And I definitely shouldn’t be kissing him.

But I can’t help myself.

I’ve stalked Cole online ever since the day we parted ways. It’s been torture.

But we had an understanding that what we did in college stayed at college. We were young and fresh and had our career paths laid out before us with a ton of goals to reach. Cole’s life took him in one direction. Mine took me in the opposite one.

We weren’t willing to risk our personal ambitions for anything.

Not even love.

Except I’m not sure he ever loved me like I did him. It’s not like I bared my soul to him back then. Hell, I’m not even sure how or when I fell in love with him in the first place. It just happened. But as good as it was, we weren’t supposed to last, so instead of confessing my feelings, I bottled them up.

No biggie. He never once dropped the L-bomb with me, either. We had fun. Lots and lots of fun. But that’s it. We were basically just friends with hella amazing benefits.

And even though he treated me like I was special, I always reminded myself that that’s how Cole is. He treats everyone like they’re his best friend. He’d give a stranger the shirt on his back without even being asked. The man would do anything for anyone because he’s amazing.

How is he still single?

Wait. Maybe he isn’t.

Did I make a huge mistake? What people post on social media is rarely the full picture of their life. Cole might have someone special. Someone he kisses every morning, thinks about all day, and goes home to each night.

A wave of nausea assaults me. Pressing my hand to his chest, I hold him at arm’s length. “Are you with anyone?”

He looks at me like I have two heads. “The fuck kind of question is that?” Cole steps back with his brow furrowed. “You know me better than that, Haley.”

Of course, he’d never cheat. Cole’s loyal to the bone. My heart can’t figure out if it’s relieved that I may have a chance with him, or sad because no one’s claimed him yet. He’s the best catch ever. The one who got away.

No. He’s the one I let go.

And I’ll be forever mad at myself for it, too. “It’s just hard to imagine you’re not taken.”

His tone softens. “Same could be said for you.” Cole’s gaze drifts back to my diamond ring.

Maybe he doesn’t believe it’s fake. Spinning it, because my nerves are a wreck again, I admit my lies. “I wear this so I’m not hit on as much.” Wow. That sounds egotistical as fuck. “After I finished my internship in Boston, I moved to New York. My supervisor was a real pig. He’d always make me feel uncomfortable and when I brought it up to HR, they didn’t do anything about it.”

Cole cusses under his breath.

“So, after a year of putting up with him hitting on me and acting highly inappropriate, I made up a fake boyfriend.”

His brow arches. “And that worked?”

“Nope.” I tuck some of my hair behind my ears. “My boss didn’t care at all. So, a few months of more bullshit, I bought a big, fake ass ring.” I wiggle my fingers, spinning the diamond, because the cheap piece of jewelry doesn’t even fit right. “I led everyone I worked with to believe I was engaged to the love of my life. Two years later, I quit and moved away.”

“You lied to everyone that whole time?”

“Yes.” Why do I feel ashamed about it now?

Cole stares at me with his jaw clenching. The fiery frenzy we were just in somehow turns ice cold. I’m really rethinking what I’ve done and not for the first time…

“I can’t believe this is goodbye day.” My roommate, Jenna, skulks over and hugs me from behind. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Hales.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

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