Page 46 of Brutal Secrets

Inever understood America’s obsession with the film Star Wars, but at this moment, staring at the trembling kid standing opposite me in the doorway, I feel like Darth Vader.

I look over at the little girl, whose head is swiveling between me and her mother, an expression of distress etched on her face. “Good morning,” I say.

“Is it?” She fixes me with a pale-blue stare that reflects my eyes back at me, and then she looks between her mother and me. “Whose daughter am I?”

Without thinking, I answer. “Mine.”

“Wow, Mom. You suck so much.” The kid turns tail and runs back to her bedroom, her footsteps thudding down the corridor as she drops her stuffed dog in the doorway. It lies there, looking balefully at me from the floor.

Kesera’s shoulders droop, and she drops her face into her hands, muttering to herself. “And of course, it’s all my fault.”

“No, zolotaya. It’s entirely my fault.” I stand and catch Dex’s eye.

“I’ll give you two a moment,” he says as he walks toward the doorway and beckons Andrei to follow. “Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll go and check on that coffee.”

Dropping next to Kesera on the sofa, I put my arm around her shoulder, trying to shelter her with my body, but she remains rigid and edges away from me.

“I need to check on Nadia. I have to go.” She tries to rise.

I tighten my grip around her shoulders and circle her small frame in my arms, holding her until I feel some of the tension ease as I rest my chin on her hair. “I’m sorry I’ve made such a mess of this. I wanted to keep you safe, and I haven’t even done that. Let me do my best to not make it any worse.”

“I really need to go and see my daughter.” She tries to rise again.

“Our daughter,” I say softly, tucking a finger under her chin and tilting her face to mine. “She’s ours.”

Kesera’s green eyes rove over my face before she shakes her head as if it doesn’t matter. “You’ve been out of our lives for a decade. She’s mine.”

I regard her carefully, keeping my arms around her. “She’ll always be yours, first and foremost. I know I’ve messed this up.” I run my hands up and down her trembling arms as she tries to hold it together.

She gives me a wry smile. “You sure have. But I need to go to her.”

“What will you tell her?”

“The truth.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I looked for you for ten years and I didn’t find you until I’d given up. She’ll like that. It’s like one of the fairy tales I read her, where the answer only comes when the hero gives up.” She gets up and starts toward the bedroom. “The dark kind of fairy tale where there’s a price to be paid.”

“What will you tell her about me?”

“That we met, did something beautiful, and made the most beautiful thing in my life. That’s also the truth.”

I get up to follow her as she turns away.

“The kitchen’s that way.” She waves to her left, her back to me. “Go find Dex and decide what our next move should be.”

I reach out and grasp her hand. “What was the price?”

She stills, but she doesn’t turn around as I finish the question.

“In the dark fairy tales, there’s always a price to be paid. What did you pay for the most beautiful thing in your life?”

Her shoulders hunch toward her ears and then drop in defeat. “I got the fame, the money, and the child. But no man will ever love me.” Her hand shakes loose from mine, and she walks toward the bedroom, her footsteps sending echoes of regret along my nerve endings.

I wish it was safe to love her. If I could love anyone, it would be her.

Chapter Thirty-One

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