Page 74 of Beauty Of Her

Zoe nodded, wiping away the tears. “Well, I don’t agree.” And then she buried her head into her pillow and threw the blanket over her head. “Get out.”

I took a step back, feeling like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on. I could see the pain in her eyes, the same pain I had been feeling for so long. But I had to be strong for her, for both of them. I couldn't let her carry this burden alone.

"Zoe, I understand how you feel, but I need you to know that I'm trying to do what's best for all of us. I don't want us to be unhappy, but sometimes things just don't work out how we want them to."

She sniffled, the blanket still covering her head. "You always say things will be okay, but they never are. I just want things to be normal again, Mom. I miss the old us."

I took a deep breath, trying to find the words to ease our pain. "I know, Zoe. I miss it, too. But we're still a family, even if things look different. We'll find our way back to normal, I promise. Brett and I just wanted different things at the end of the day."

“No, that’s not true.” Zoe sat up, throwing the covers off her head. “You wanted different things and weren’t willing to compromise. Brett wanted to make you happy, but you couldn’t let go of what Dad did to you and the possibility that it could happen again. But Brett is so different from Dad. All he wants to do is make you happy. Don’t screw this up before it’s too late.”

Fuck. I couldn’t breathe. “Zoe. I’ve made my decision. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with it, but one day you’ll understand.”

“You keep saying that, but I promise you, I won’t,” she seethed, pushing her back against the headboard. “Please leave my room.”

It was pointless. I tried and failed. But now, my sadness morphed into a wave of anger. I left Zoe’s room, slamming the door behind me. I leaned against the door, letting Zoe’s words sink in. She wanted me to be happy. And when I was with Brett, I couldn’t deny how Zoe’s mood lifted and reverted to how she was when I was with Peter. We had found a new normal with Brett. The house had a renewed energy. Everyone was laughing. Everyone enjoyed being around each other. It was better than what was happening, and I started to second guess myself whether I really fucked things up.

Soft footsteps ascending the stairs snapped me out of my thoughts, and Amelia came into view, already sporting a frown. She stopped inches from my face and ran a comforting hand down my arm.

“Are you okay?” she whispered.

It took all my strength to utter one word.

“No.”

I decided to walk home from work, believing the five-mile stroll on the first single-digit day of the year would help chisel away the ice that had encapsulated my heart since the breakup with Julia. Well, it didn’t do shit.

By the time I reached my apartment, my fingers were frozen sausages, and I wondered if I’d ever get the feeling back in my dick. Breaking up with Julia reminded me exactly why I didn’t do meaningful relationships. Because what I was going through now fucking sucked. I arrived at my apartment building and fumbled with the keys in my numb fingers. The thought of spending another night alone made me want to pitch a tent and suffer outdoors in the frigid temperature.

This. Totally. Sucked.

I finally inserted the key and pushed the heavy glass door open. Dragging my feet toward the elevator, eyes heavy from nights of poor sleep, my body wanted to collapse, but my mind refused solace. I didn’t bother to take in my surroundings in the dimmed lobby. For all I knew, the building could have been burning, and I would have walked through the flames.

“Brett?” said a small voice behind me.

My head jerked up, and the reflection bouncing off the elevator’s stainless steel doors caught my breath. I spun around and confirmed what I saw: Sara. She sat on a bench next to the concierge desk with no one behind it. For what seemed like an eternity, I just stared at Sara, wondering why she was there, how long she had been loitering in the building, and how she even got in. She wore her regular school clothes, sweatpants, and a long-sleeved T-shirt, and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. I glanced at my watch, and it was almost 8 PM.

“Sara? What are you doing here?” I asked the obvious.

“I was hoping I’d run into you.” She stood slowly.

“Well, yeah.” I placed my hands on my hips. “I live here. Does your mom know you’re here?”

Sara bit her lip, and her silence said it all.

“Fuck, Sara. Your mom is probably ready to have a nervous breakdown.” I paused. “Don’t tell your mom I said a bad word.” I held up a finger.

Sara laughed. “I’ve heard it before.”

“Yes, but you haven’t heard a thing from me.” I sighed and dropped my hands to my sides. “How about a hug?” I opened my arms, and a second later, Sara tackled me in a desperate bear hug. “You know, I always took Zoe to be the type to run away or go missing. Not you.”

Sara laughed into my chest, but tears glistened in her dark eyes when she pulled away. “Mom misses you.”

The knife was inserted.

“We miss you,” Sara added.

The knife twisted.

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