Page 73 of Beauty Of Her

“When did we get pizza?” I asked.

“Well, we were starving, and you took the longest shower known to man, so we ordered from Nino’s,” said Amelia, popping a pepperoni into her mouth.

“Do you want a slice?” Sara asked, holding up her plate and smiling.

“Sure.” I smiled back, and what she did next almost sent me into sobs. Sara walked over, handed me her slice, and kissed my cheek.

My girl. I pulled her in, squeezing her hard. Of course, this was the perfect moment, only to be dented when the pizza slid off the plate and landed face-up on the floor.

“Oh!” Amelia and Sara shouted.

“Five-second rule,” I said, scooping up the slice and biting.

“Ugh, you’re fucking disgusting,” said Zoe, twisting her face and shooting me a death stare. She stormed out of the kitchen and threw her uneaten pizza into the garbage, leaving everyone speechless.

“Just ignore her, Mom.” Sadness filled Sara’s eyes.

My eyes shifted to Amelia, who stood silent, a rarity. “I’m going to go talk to her.”

Sara and Amelia exchanged knowing glances, not to stop me. I headed upstairs, taking two steps at a time, and didn’t slow down until I came face to face with Zoe’s closed bedroom door.

I took a deep breath and knocked. "Zoe, sweetheart, can I come in?" No reply. I opened the door and saw her sitting on her bed, staring into space. I closed the door behind me and waited for a sign to come closer, but Zoe refused to make eye contact with me. The only move she did make was clenching her jaw.

“Zoe, can I sit?” I motioned to the corner of the bed.

Nothing.

“I’m going to sit, okay?” It was as if I was dealing with the most fragile human being. But Zoe was tough. She masked everything under her brooding surface. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe she was screaming for help all this time, and no one offered their ears to listen. “I know you’re upset. I’m upset, too.” I closed my eyes, hearing Zoe shift away from me. “But everything is going to be okay.”

Zoe turned her head away from me, refusing to meet my gaze. And for whatever reason, I took the kid gloves off.

“You can’t speak to me that way,” I blurted. “When you told me that I’m fucking disgusting, I know you didn’t mean me eating food from the floor. I watch you and Sara eat food you always drop from the floor. This is about Brett, isn’t it?”

Zoe’s jaw ticked, and tears coated her eyes, but not one fell.

“Zoe, please talk to me. If we can’t talk, how can we fix this?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” she spoke through gritted teeth.

I stared at her, my heart breaking a little more at her words. I gently grabbed her arm, the tension radiating under her warm skin. "Zoe, I'm sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” Zoe flung her arm away. “First, Dad broke us. Now you did.” She shook her head, rocking back and forth on the bed. “We liked Brett. You loved Brett. Everyone loved Brett. Why did you break up with him?”

“We were too different. You won’t understand now, but when you’re older, it’ll make more sense.” I wanted to believe what I said, but I didn’t. And now, I was lying to my daughter, who was desperately lost.

“This is bullshit.” Zoe jumped out of the bed, pacing the room. “We were finally a family again. You were happy. It was so great to see you happy. To have someone else here who made us a whole.”

“Zoe, we’ve always been a family.” I reached for her, but she wouldn’t let me have her.

Zoe took a deep breath and turned to face me, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t understand, Mom. Why can’t you just hold onto something good when you find it? Why can’t you just be happy?”

And then my heart shattered. I wasn’t the only one in this house with a broken heart.

“It’s not that easy, Zoe. I’m not doing this on purpose.”

“Then what is it? Dad knew how to be with someone. Even when Joel broke up with him, he knew how to move on. I want that for you. Do you know how hard it’s been watching you struggle? Like, I know you don’t mope openly and all that. But you’re alone, Mom. And when you were with Brett, you lit up. It was like we had the old you back when things were good with Dad and before everything…changed.” She sighed and closed her eyes while I forgot how to breathe. “You love him, Mom. Why isn’t love enough?”

My eyes welled up with tears as I saw the pain in her eyes. I wanted to reach out and hug her, but it wouldn’t be that easy. "Sometimes love isn't enough, Zoe."

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