Page 178 of Never Let You Go

There’s a small sitting room off the lobby with four blue wingback chairs and a coffee table. Sarah and Emma are sitting on opposite sides.

I glance at Emma, who’s studying her cuticles, and sit next to Sarah. She’s holding a document. I’m not fond of those right now.

What now?

Sarah takes a deep breath. “You know how you were going to prove your undying love to Christopher by giving up on Red Barn? Not going to the exam?”

“That’s what I’m doing.” I nod. However hurt I am right now, that’s the only thing I can do to prove my love for him.

“We have a problem,” Sarah says. She turns to Emma. “Go ahead.”

Emma looks up and takes a deep breath. Her chin pointing to the papers Sarah is holding, she says, “If you don’t go to the exam, or if you fail, Chris loses his grant. And if he loses his grant, he’s at risk of losing the bakery.”

“What the hell are you talking about.” I take the papers from Sarah and start reading.

Emma’s eyes are ruthlessly narrowed on me, as if I’m the accused in a particular brutal murder and she’s the prosecutor. “Chris got a grant from the Red Barn Foundation, several years ago. That grant stated as a condition that he may be asked to take in an apprentice on short notice. If he did get that request, he had to accept the apprentice and the apprentice needed to be successful. No dropping out, no failing the exam, or else the grant is due back, in full.” She looks at me, a harsh expression in her eyes.

I skim the grant, confirming everything Emma is saying. Confirming that I’m that apprentice. I remember her words from the first time I saw her doing books at the bakery.

Sarah clears her throat. “The grant is massive, Boo. It covered everything. Building, equipment, start-up costs. It’s how he was able to start a bakery in a remote place like here. Why didn’t he tell you?”

My heart is beating so hard in my chest I can’t breathe. What I’m reading confirms this as well.

“He didn’t want to put pressure on me,” I whisper.

I turn to Emma, and my anger flares. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She pretends not to understand. As if her telling me now is enough.

“At Lazy’s, the day before the competition,” I say. “When you told Christopher I was to inherit from Rita Douglas. I said I wouldn’t take the exam, if it meant so much to him. I told him I didn’t care about Red Barn enough to lose him over it, and I could prove it by not going to the exam. And when I said that, you put your paw on him, as if to calm him down. You could have said something to me. You should have told me then, what this meant for Christopher.”

“It wasn’t my place.”

Air wooshes out my lungs. The nerve!

“Why didn’t Chris say anything?” Sarah interjects before I have time to ream into Emma.

“Christopher would never force anyone to do something for his benefit,” I say. And that’s why he never told me, during my whole apprenticeship. It would have been a lot of pressure on me. On anyone in my position.

Emma turns to Sarah, ignoring me. “Chris is proud. Too proud to ask anyone for help. That’s the only reason he hasn’t told Alexandra. That’s why I came tonight.”

“You’re so full of shit,” I spit. “You waited until I was so deep into promising him I’d do it to show him my love. You could have intervened at any time. You could have come during the competition.”

“I can’t disclose client information like that. Surely, even you can understand that.” Her disdain is palpable.

“So why the fuck are you here now?” I say between gritted teeth.

She widens her eyes. “I thought you’d understand why.”

“Oh, I understand, Emma. Because you can make it look like I changed my mind. Like I lied to him again, led him on. Like I don’t care about him.”

“You couldn’t stand seeing them happy together, could you?” Sarah snarls at Emma. “If you hadn’t interfered, hadn’t told Chris about Alex’s grandmother, none of this would have happened. They would be happy right now. He’d know the truth, would have heard it from Alex, and he would have supported her taking the exam. But you couldn’t stomach it.”

Blood swooshes in my ears.

“I was only looking out for him,” Emma answers, her chin trembling. “You can’t tell him I told you.”

“Honey,” I say, standing up and dropping the grant papers on the coffee table. “We, contrary to you, are not in the business of ruining people’s lives. But he’ll find out eventually. This is a small town. There are no secrets. But you are already know that, right?”

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