Page 177 of Never Let You Go

“I know. I understand that. And when I was thinking about it, when I was gearing up to come clean to Christopher, I thought the upside would be that I would receive his guidance, you know? We’d be a team. He would have been the perfect person to help me. Guide me.” Tears well up again. “Everything is ruined now. He won’t even listen to me. I can’t get through to him. He’s convinced I lied, and that’s all he sees. It’s my fault though, and I have to fix this. And I’m sorry, Barbara, he is more important than Red Barn to me. I love him. He’s who I want in my future.”

“Of course, honey. Of course. And you’ve tried everything?”

“The only thing left is for me to renounce Red Barn by not taking the exam. That’s all I have left. Red Barn was never going to be my long-term future anyway.”

She grunts her assent. “That makes perfect sense, in a way.”

That sounds like an easy win. “How so?”

“Rita thought Red Barn was the solution to her personal problems, when it was really its source. She wanted to impose that on you, and for some time you followed. But then circumstances forced you to see the light. You’re choosing love. That’s powerful. I’m proud of you.” There’s the sound of voices muffled by her hand on her phone, then she says, “Jerry can’t wait to meet you. We’ll see you soon.” And she hangs up.

I look at my darkened phone screen.

“Well, that went well,” Sarah says.

I’m about to dissect what Barbara said when I’m interrupted by a knock on our door. We exchange a look, and Sarah gets up and cracks the door open.

“You again? You have some nerve.” Sarah is trying to keep her voice low, but the tremor in it is telling.

“Please, I really need to talk to Alex.”

The voice grates like nails on a chalkboard. Didn’t she torture me enough already? I hide my head under the pillow. If Emma’s here to examine the physical effects of her manipulation, I won’t give her that satisfaction.

“How did you know where to find her?” Sarah asks. “Just leave her alone already. You got what you wanted.”

“It’s not what I wanted,” Emma answers. “I was just looking out for Chris.”

The welcome sound of a door shutting in her face is immediately followed by a rapping on the door again.

I muffle a scream. The woman has no shame.

“There’s something she needs to know,” Emma insists. “Please.”

Sarah lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’ll meet you downstairs,” she says, locking the door. She pulls her jeans and a sweatshirt above her short and tank-top pajamas. “Bitch isn’t coming in here. I’ll make sure she leaves and doesn’t bother you anymore,” she says to me.

I wait until the door shuts behind her to pull myself together. I stand, go to the bathroom, do my business, and splash water on my face.

I’m normally not a sobber, so the red blotches on my face are a surprise. I really don’t care right now.

I brush my hair and tie it in a ponytail, then apply some moisturizer.

Feeling halfway human, I plop on the bed, waiting for Sarah to return.

Then I decide I might as well put my jammies on, but the room phone rings.

And rings.

I look at it. I guess it’s for me?

“Hey, boo,” Sarah’s voice comes out gloomy. “You’re gonna wanna come downstairs.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really,” she whispers.

Shit.

I go downstairs.

---