Page 76 of Rock On

“No. Don’t be sorry. Be honest. I’m not going to be disappointed, babe. No matter what you want to do—or don’t want to do—don’t you understand? The most vanilla of all vanilla sex, like standard missionary under the covers with the lights out, is one hundred percent fine with me.”

Harley looked startled and then she burst out laughing.

“Sweet Jesus, please don’t ever suggest missionary with the lights out again,” she breathed through her laughter. “That’s pretty much the opposite of what I want.”

“I just want you to know that I don’t care about the level of kink or letting people watch—I just care about you. Touching you is all the kink I need. And I mean that.”

“I might be starting to worry about you,” she teased. “Seriously, Tommy. I’m definitely more fragile than before, for a million reasons, but I don’t think I’ll ever be quite that fragile.”

“Well, I want you to know that you can be. Whatever you need, we’ll work through it. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

To my surprise she leaned over and kissed me, her lips light against mine, but there was something about this kiss that spoke of promise. “You have no idea how much I love hearing that.”

“And I love seeing you smile.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss while you’re here?” Allisha asked when we didn’t stop staring at each other.

Harley paused, as if she was considering it, but then shook her head. “No. I’m good.”

“Me too,” I said.

“Then I guess I’ll see you both tomorrow for your final individual in-person sessions before you leave.”

“I can’t believe tomorrow is our last full day,” Harley said as we left Allisha’s office.

“Are you sad to be leaving?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Kinda, yeah. If I could have River here with me, I might never leave.”

I chuckled. “I have to admit it’s been a nice escape from reality.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“I hope you can tell me anything.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“How things are going to be once we get back to that reality.”

“How do you want them to be?”

“I honestly don’t know. We’ve been in this safe, private little bubble with our therapist at our beck and call, no responsibilities whatsoever, and this gorgeous backdrop. Everything changes when we get home.”

“Not everything,” I said carefully. “We can get Allisha on the phone almost anytime. We won’t have the ocean outside our door, but we can drive twenty minutes to get there. And we can see as much of each other as we want.”

“Until you leave to go on tour. Then what?”

THIRTY

Harley

I hadn’t realized how much the thought of him leaving to go on tour bothered me until the words slipped out. And Allisha had another appointment with her now, so we couldn’t even go back to have this conversation with her mediating.

“Has that been on your mind?” Tommy asked, stopping in the hallway and turning to face me.

“A little.” I took a breath. That was a lie. “Okay, maybe more than a little.”

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