Page 1 of Rock On

PROLOGUE

Harley

Dear Harley,

How’s it going, beautiful? I know you’re pissed at me right now, so I wanted to write to you to make sure you know I’ve taken care of you. There’s money for you and River that will allow you to do anything you want and give him everything he’ll ever need. I’ve also left letters and videos for you to give him when he gets a little older and can understand more about his dad.

I didn’t make this decision lightly.

To end my life and abandon both you and our son.

But I’m an addict, Harley.

And the truth is that I like being high.

I love the rush from coke.

I enjoy getting shit faced.

My last stint in rehab showed me that’s never going to change, and all it does is hurt the people I care about. I guess it hurts me too. The difference is I don’t know any better. Or maybe I just don’t care. Death is something I’ve been thinking about for years. I would have done it already if it hadn’t been for you and River.

You’ve given me something to live for the last couple of years. More joy than a fuck-up like me deserves. You two made me better, made me try harder, made me re-evaluate everything I thought I knew. Even if it wasn’t enough to fix me, it was enough to bring light to my soul after so many years of darkness.

Please don’t hate me.

River’s better off never seeing me sprawled on the floor covered in puke.

He’s better off not waiting for me to show up for a birthday party when I’m too busy shooting up to remember.

He’ll be healthier and happier without me around to fuck things up.

Because it’s going to happen.

It’s just a matter of time.

You’re an amazing mom. My best friend in the world. The love of my life.

I have no regrets, Harley.

Not a single one.

So don’t blame yourself. Don’t cry. Don’t miss me too much.

I’m in a better place now.

My lawyer has all the details and he’ll be getting in touch.

I want you to be happy.

Please fall in love again.

Mend fences with Tommy.

Go back to acting.

Do all the things.

Life’s too short not to.

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