Page 2 of Rock On

And finally, I know you want another baby. If you want him or her to be River’s biological sibling, I left a little piece of me behind so you can do it. With Tommy or someone else, the option is there. I wish there was more I could do but you gave me a legacy that goes beyond rock and roll. It’s more than I deserve.

Just remember…

No pain.

No guilt.

No regrets.

Rock on.

Always,

Carter

I didn’t know there could be pain like the loss of your best friend. The father of your child. The man you’d so desperately wanted to fall in love with but couldn’t. He would never understand the hole he’s left. In my life, in River’s, in the world. So many people loved him. And now he was gone.

Honestly, from the day I’d found out I was pregnant, Carter had been there for me. No questions asked, he’d stepped up to the plate. It didn’t matter that I was married to someone else. Or that he’d been secretly in love with me for years. Or anything else. He’d simply done the right thing. More than the right thing.

He’d been at my side when River was born and had been there for almost every milestone.

Carter was the guy we all wanted to fall in love with.

The guy millions of women around the world had been in love with.

And all he’d wanted was me.

The woman who loved someone else.

The mother of his child who still yearned for her ex.

Tommy fucking Bane.

Even now, I wanted to smack him.

Hate him.

Rue the day we’d ever met.

But I still loved him.

I probably always would.

And without either of them, I was so fucking lost.

ONE

Tommy

It had been more than a year since Carter had killed himself.

My best friend, the bass player of my band, the closest I’d ever come to having a brother since my biological brother and I weren’t close.

Now Carter was nothing but a memory.

Sometimes it seemed like just yesterday that I’d last seen him; other times, it felt like he’d been gone forever.

And both of those scenarios sucked ass because I missed him no matter what.

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