Page 29 of RAKEish

“Why earshot?”

“In case you need help.”

She blinked. “Why would I need help?”

“Because while we’ve talked about your picking up a man in a bar, we’ve not discussed your skill level at turning one down…especially an entitled one not used to the words ‘not interested.’”

“Somehow, I don’t think there will be any rakes kicking up a fuss over my not fancying one of them.”

“Then you don’t understand the power of leather pants on your body,” he said.

She rolled her eyes and stepped toward the entrance of the establishment. As the door swung open, laughter and the clink of glasses spilled out. She stepped into a world where seduction and sincerity were likely as blurred as the drunken vision of the patrons.

Lux nodded at the bouncer who stood just inside the door. She glanced around to get her bearings as she showed the burly man her identification. The bar’s atmosphere was an intoxicating blend of smooth jazz and subdued conversations. Even so, it did little to steady her jittery anticipation. Tonight was about practicing her pickup lines—a simple task in theory but daunting.

As she carefully made her way to the bar, her attempt at a graceful entrance was slightly marred by an untimely stumble over someone’s misplaced foot. She recovered with a quick, embarrassed smile, hoping the dim lighting hid her blush. Lux found an empty stool at the bar—and awkwardly clambered onto it, trying to look nonchalant and pretty sure she only partially succeeded.

Settling in, she took a deep breath and surveyed her surroundings, quickly realizing she was a novice among experts. Every man in the room oozed composed confidence. And the women wore sophistication like she wore sweats on the weekend.

When a man slid onto the seat next to her, Lux startled so hard, she all but fell off her bar stool. Luckily, his back was to her. Thankful to be so thoroughly ignored, Lux prepared herself for a silent, unnoticed evening.

But then, to her surprise, he turned and spoke to the mixologist behind the counter.

Lux’s heart skipped a beat. This was her opportunity to step into the spotlight, to try out the pickup line she’d been practicing.

He was about to become the first test subject in Lux’s stumbling journey into the art of seduction. One that was meant to land her the heart of a rake but surely wouldn’t. The sooner that could be proven, the sooner she could get back to the life she preferred.

Gathering her courage, Lux cleared her throat to get his attention. “Hello.” This was it—her moment to test one of the lines that Scott had suggested in a column back in March. One he swore worked, but she highly doubted it.

“Do you have a quarter I could borrow for the tampon machine in the ladies room?” she blurted a bit too loudly. The man looked taken aback, his smooth facade momentarily faltering.

That’s when she realized what she’d said. She’d just blurted the line she’d used in a nightmare she’d had once. A nightmare that…now that she thought about it, she’d repeated to her best friend before breakfast a few years back.

“Excuse me?” He raised an eyebrow.

Lux pressed on, her cheeks burning. “Sorry. I meant to say, ‘do you have a quarter I could borrow for the condom machine in the lady’s room?’”

There was a brief, excruciating silence. Then, he burst into laughter, not the charmed chuckle Lux had hoped for, but a full-on guffaw that drew the attention of nearby patrons. “That’s good! I mean, it’s terrible, but it’s good,” he managed to say between fits of laughter.

Lux wanted to disappear into the floorboards. Her attempt at seduction had turned into a comedy sketch. She forced a laugh, trying to salvage some dignity.

The man, still chuckling, gave her a friendly pat on the knee. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just…that was unexpectedly hilarious. You’re not really trying to pick me up, are you? Was this some type of dare? Did you lose a bet?”

Lux mustered a smile, acknowledging the absurdity of her attempt. “No dare. Just me trying for the first time to use a pickup line.”

The man nodded, amusement still dancing in his eyes. “Keep at it. Maybe leave out the part about a tampon next time.”

As he stood and walked away with his Old Fashioned, Lux let out a sigh of relief mixed with embarrassment. She was just reminding herself to wait for Scott to enter the establishment before trying this again, when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Turning around, she came face-to-face with her nemesis, who had an unmistakable twinkle in his eyes. It dawned on her in that moment—he had been there the whole time, a silent observer to her catastrophe.

Scott’s grin was both sympathetic and slightly teasing. “Well, that was…something,” he said, trying to stifle his chuckle. “I must say, I’ve never heard that particular line used on a man.”

“Did you hear…all of it?”

“Every painful word,” Scott confirmed, his tone light but encouraging.

“Hell’s fudging bells,” she muttered, eliciting a chuckle from him, which did nothing to ease her embarrassment.

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