I can’t do that though.
It’s not just our relationship on the line, it’s my whole family. My sister will be just as affected by it and she didn’t do anything to deserve this. My mom has never been my favorite, but I still don’t want to hurt her. And my dad, the one who caused this whole mess.
He still doesn’t know that I know, and it’s been so long now that he thinks he’s gotten away with it.
He doesn’t know that Striker’s dad, Ken, knows. He doesn’t know that his bad decision, which happened over 13 years ago, haunts me to this day. He doesn’t know that it’s the reason I ran away, and he doesn’t know that I’ve been living this life without my other half all so he can have his.
He doesn’t know any of that, and if it’s up to me, he never will. No one will. Not even Striker.
Thoughts of my other half make my eyes sting with warm tears. He always has been somewhere deep inside, I always knew it. But admitting it to myself is wreaking havoc on my emotions.
He knew what he was doing all along. His words replay in my head, “You were allowing this so you didn’t have to feel. You were using me as an escape, and that’s not how this is going to go, sweetheart. I’m going to make you feel again, Lex. If it’s the last fucking thing I do, you are going to feel this.”
Well great fucking job, Striker, because now I feel it. I feel it all, the decade of friendship, the years of love, all the trust, lies, and secrets. I feel it all like it just happened yesterday and it’s threatening to crash down on me.
I knock on the door and step inside. “Striker?” I call out.
“He’s not here,” his dad answers from somewhere in the darkened living room.
“Oh, okay.” I turn to leave the house but the light flicks on.
“Wait.”
I turn and study Ken. I can usually tell how drunk he is just by looking at him. His eyes aren’t as bloodshot as they usually are but he has a face of stone, showing no emotion.
“Do you know what my fucking son said to me tonight?”
I shake my head, debating whether or not to sprint out of the house, as far away as possible.
“He told me that you two are out of here as soon as you turn eighteen. Is that right?” His head cocks to the side while his eyes burn into me.
I open my mouth to speak, but words don’t come. He knows. What will he do? Will he try to stop us?
A menacing laugh bubbles up as he stands and slowly walks closer to me. “Fucking Grants. You people think that you can do anything you damn well please just because you have money.”
“I don’t know…” I’m shaking my head but he cuts me off.
“I know you don’t know. He thinks he covered it up, doesn’t he?”
“Who?” Panic is rising in my voice. I reach behind me and place my hand on the latch to the storm door.
“Who? Who!?” he yells. He takes another step closer and the stench of alcohol wafts into my nostrils, even though he is several feet from me. “Your fucking father! The king of the town!” He holds his arms out to his side, like he’s taunting me into some sort of fight.
He takes another step and another, and before I know it, he’s directly in front of me. He looks down on me with his dark eyes. “Your whole family thinks they can take whatever they want. I’m not going to let you have him, you know? He’s my son. Mine!” he yells loud enough to make me cringe. I’m frozen in fear. The storm door latch is still in my hand, but fear freezes me in place. My feet won’t work.
Before I know what is happening, I’m falling backward. The door opens from the outside and I land in Striker’s strong arms. He sees the fear in my eyes and he stands me upright. His eyes flash from me to his father. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs and moves in to place a soft kiss on my lips. “Wait for me in the garage,” he whispers.
I nod, still shell-shocked. He releases me and I walk a few feet away. Before I open the door, I look back to see Striker still standing there, watching me. His chest is rising and falling quickly and his jaw is set. His eyes are burning, he’s pissed off. He nods me on, so I open the door and step inside. I turn and close the door behind me, but I peek through the crack at the last second. I see him run into his house and hear a solid hit. He went after his dad.
I should have listened to him that night. Ken was pissed, but if I had only remained calm instead of being a scared little girl, I could have picked up on a lot more. It was still another year before I discovered what secret Ken knew about my dad.
At the time, I didn’t want to hear it, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t ask the right questions and didn’t care to not know. I know that if he would have shared the secret with me on that night, I would have made all the wrong choices.
I would have told Striker, he would have blamed me and he would hate me. I would have confronted my dad, and who knows what would’ve come out of that. My mom could have overheard, and the secret would’ve ended our family.
I didn’t have Striker, but at least my family still had one another.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I pick up my phone and call Hannah.