Page 43 of Losing a Piece of Me

He studies me intensely, trying to extract the secret from me with his eyes. I break eye contact.

“I’m sorry. This is bigger than you and me. What I’ve kept inside of me, it can wreck us and my family. I know I can trust you, but if I tell you, you will be angry and it will come out. I can’t take that chance.”

He turns his head back to the TV. I study him while he thinks it over. Then he turns back to me. “Okay, I won’t ask again, but if we’re going to do this, you have to take those walls down. I can’t be with you when you’re keeping me out. You have to let me in.” He places his hands on either side of my face.

I nod. “I promise, but there is one more thing.”

He nods me on.

“This,” I point between the two of us, “has to be kept a secret. You can’t tell anyone. Nobody can know. Understand?”

His eyes squint as he looks at me. After a few seconds, he nods and pulls me in for a kiss that I’ve longed for for six years.

* * *

Striker stays the night and we cuddle, touch, and kiss most of the night. We make love again and it’s even better than before, knowing that I will get him time and time again.

When we wake in the morning, he leaves to go back home. He kisses me goodbye and walks out of my apartment, leaving me standing alone in the kitchen.

A weird, unidentifiable feeling consumes me from inside out. The more I try to determine what it is, the more pressure builds inside of my chest. I love him and am beyond happy that we can finally be together in some way, even if it is a secret and we can only see each other in the city, but I’m also afraid. Afraid that it will end badly. I’m worried that my heart will be broken again. I’m worried that we will be caught and, while my parents won’t be happy about it, nothing truly bad will come from them.

Our problem lies with Ken. If he ever finds out that I’m seeing his son again, he will unleash a secret that will start a fire in my family - fire that won’t stop until it has claimed everything in its path. It will burn through us, leaving nothing but bits and pieces of ash and dust.

My family could be forever ruined, and for what? So I can be with my soulmate.

Is it worth it? Am I being selfish? Will everything be ruined?

Eventually all secrets come out.

Will mine?

Chapter 12

It’s been one week since I ran into Lex in the city. I stayed with her that first night, but had to leave the next morning. I needed to get that estimate for her store but, more importantly, I needed a little time to think everything over.

She’s willing to be with me, but there is a condition: it has to be secret.

Why secret?

Something tells me it has something to do with that secret she’s holding back from me.

Did someone threaten her to stay away from me?

Who would do that? No one in my life even pretends to give a shit about me.

Is it her parents? I wouldn’t put it past them to try something shady to keep us apart, but what could they possibly threaten her with?

Everything about me is an open book. The whole town knows I was a troublemaker growing up. They know about all the trouble Lex and I caused together. They know about my mom leaving us and my dad turning into an abusive asshole afterward. Everybody knows everything about me.

Can I be with Lex if it has to be a secret?

I have to get her to give it up. That secret, no matter how big or small, is driving a wedge between us. Maybe one day she can let it go. Maybe all she needs is a little love, kindness, and understanding. She needs to know that she can trust me. Keeping this a secret is the perfect way to do that.

The crew has started on another job here in town, so I decide to spend the week with Lex and start the renovations on her store. It’s not a big job, so there won’t be any problem doing it alone.

I load up the back of my truck with the custom-order tiles for the floor and all the necessary tools. I’ll buy the rest of the materials when I get there since the guys will need the trailer for the other job.

Truck packed with supplies, I hit the road. My heart flutters against my ribcage the entire drive in anticipation of seeing her again. I need to see her, feel her, remind myself that she is finally mine after so many years of longing.

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