He wipes them away, just as he always has. “There is nothing you could have done. By the time you found out it was already too late. I could’ve left at any time. At least this way, I got to keep you. I couldn’t have made it through all that if it wasn’t for you. You gave me a reason to live. You taught me how to love. You were the one good thing in my life. Don’t be sorry for that.” He kisses my forehead and lays my head against his shoulder.
The tears slow, but don’t stop. I fall back asleep, but with his strong arms around me and his heat invading my body, the bad dreams stay away.
“My dad’s been laid off of work,” Striker says as we sit outside our small grocery store.
I lick my ice cream. “How come?”
“Budget cuts.” He shrugs.
“So who’s going to mow for the town? Look at this place, the weeds are already knee-high.”
“Who knows. Maybe they are just going to let the weeds take over and run us out of town”
I look to him. “I think we should help them out.”
Striker turns to me, his perfectly sculpted face scrunched together in confusion. “I’m not mowing the town for free.”
I laugh. “That’s not what I mean. Come on.” I take his hand and pull him up from the wooden bench.
The two of us stroll down the sidewalk, talking and eating our ice cream under the hot summer sun. Five minutes later, there it is. The goat farm.
I look at him, he looks at me. “Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?”
I nod at him. “It seems like the perfect solution, doesn’t it? The goats need to eat, the town has a weed problem. Let’s just let out a few.” I shrug.
A wicked gleam forms in his eyes and a smile pulls at the corners of his lips. “Let’s do it.”
Striker gets to work on opening the fence. We walk through the pasture, herding the goats out of the opening. Once enough get out, we walk back to close the gate, but the remaining goats catch on and herd together to charge the gate. A hundred goats come running toward us. Striker is fumbling with the gate, trying to get it to latch, but they plow right through us.
We both jump to either side. I sit up and watch as a hundred goats go running wild through our town.
I meet Striker’s eyes, just as wide as mine are. We didn’t intend on them all getting out.
“Hurry, let’s go.” He takes my hand and we run through the trees.
I wake up with a smile on my face, and when I open my eyes Striker is leaning over, watching me.
“What were you dreaming about?”
I stretch. “The time that we let the goats out.”
His laughter bellows all around us.
It all feels so easy right now. Laying with him, laughing with him. It’s like we’re in our own little world.
We get up and order a pizza, quietly cuddling on the couch. After several long minutes of silence, he asks, “What are we doing, Lex?”
I knew it was coming. I sit up straight and shrug. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to be with you, but I…I just feel like you’re holding something back. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, don’t you?”
With the mention of what I’m holding back, I feel my walls start building back up, slowly but surely. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He lets out a breath and runs a hand through his hair. “How do you think this can work if you’re hiding something from me?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, but this is all I can offer you right now. I’m sorry.”
His eyes burn into mine. “What are you hiding from me, Lex?”