Page 55 of Shattered

I swing my legs over the side of the chair to face her directly. "Why did this happen? I can't do this without you."

"You can do this, Jo. You have been doing it. Look at all the things you've done since I've been gone.”

"I only did those things for the list you made. I felt like I owed it to you.” I know this is a dream, but I can’t stand to look away from her in fear I will wake up and never seen her again. A dream of her is better than nothing.

She smiles brightly with her blonde curls blowing in the gentle breeze. "I know why you did them, but you still did them. By the time you finish that list, you won't need me anymore."

I shake my head, tears now welling up in my eyes. "I'll always need you. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Yes you do.” She nods, assuring me. “You have everything covered." Her eyes are wide and shining brightly as she stands from her chair and sits down beside me. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. I can feel it like she's really here with me. "You'll even get a little surprise by the time that list is done. Trust me. Trust in yourself." She hugs me and presses a kiss to my forehead before standing. "I love you, Jo," she says with a smile as she stands to walk away from me.

"I love you, Katie." I whisper the words, but it's like she can hear them anyway because she looks over her shoulder at me.

“Don’t catch any diseases,” I call after her.

She lifts her middle finger and flips me off, like I knew she would, before disappearing from view.

* * *

My eyes flutter open to see River watching me.

“Why are you smiling?” he asks me.

I sit upright and pick up his flask. “I had a dream about Katie.” I reach down and see that I’m still clutching the charm in my other hand.

I know that was nothing more than a simple dream, my subconscious trying to give me something I desperately want, but it feels like more. It feels like she was actually here with me. I can still smell her perfume. I can still feel her arm around me.

More tears sting my eyes. She’s my best friend, and she’s gone. I don’t know if this spot inside of me will ever heal, or if I’ll ever learn to live without her.

* * *

River and I spend the rest of the day at the beach. We move our chairs closer together so we can hold hands while we soak up the sun and the heat. I sip on mixed drinks and his flask, trying to come to terms with how I will have to live my life from now on.

I try distracting myself with River and his sculpted body lying next to mine. I feel myself blush when he sees me checking him out.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” I ask, surprised.

“I’m out of commission for a few days. And the way you’re looking at me, I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself. No boners for a week.”

“A week?” I ask, my voice raising to an unnatural pitch.

He lets out a deep chuckle. “What’s the matter, princess? Can’t go that long without me?”

I turn my head and close my eyes to let the sun warm my face. “I guess I’ll just have to pick up the slack for you.”

He groans. “Don’t even say that. Just thinking about you touching yourself will give me a hard on.”

I smile, happy with torturing him.

When the sun starts to set, we pack up and go back to the car to head home for the day. River drives because I’ve drank all day. He didn’t drink a drop. I think it was his way of telling me to just relax for the day.

I keep his flask in my hand as we drive down the road. I uncap it and go to take a drink when the cap falls from my fingers, rolling under the seat. “Fuck.” I bend down and feel under the seat, but don’t feel it.

I pull my knees up and flip around with my head in the floorboard to look under the seat. I feel the car swerve and then hear police sirens.

I pop up quickly. “What’s going on?”

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