Page 81 of Long Hard Road

God, I missed her. I cleared my throat. “Are you excited for tonight?”

“Not really. I get super awkward on the red carpet and I’m pretty sure my dress is too revealing. There’s a good chance one of my boobs is going to pop out on national television.”

“I was already planning to watch, angel. You don’t need to sell me on it.” I let myself have a second to remember her incredible tits bouncing as she rocked above me.

She laughed. “You’ve already seen them up close and personal. You don’t need to hope for a televised nip slip.”

“It’s been weeks, Madison. I could use a visual reminder.”

“I wish you were here,” she admitted in a whisper.

“Me too.” I dragged a hand through my hair and was surprised by its length. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten it cut. Madison had liked to grip it when I was between her thighs and I’d decided to let it grow to give her more to hold onto. But there was no reason why I hadn’t gotten it cut once she left. “Maybe I could visit you once your schedule settles down.”

“Maybe.” She didn’t sound very thrilled by the prospect. “I just got offered a pilot for a new show, so I might be busy.”

“Right. Of course.” I felt like a fool for even suggesting it. If Madison had wanted to see me, she would have invited me to be her date for the award show. I knew her agent had been encouraging her to bring someone because she’d told me all about the fake boyfriend prospects that were being pushed at her. If she’d wanted to put a stop to that, she could have told everyone about me. But she didn’t.

“Madison, I need to go. I’ve got a bunch of stuff I need to do over at the guest ranch before Sunday dinner.” It was a lie. I had nothing planned until later.

“Will you tell everyone I say hi? And that I miss taking all their quarters.”

I chuckled and hated how much I loved hearing her joke around about my family. “I’ll tell them. Good luck tonight. I’m sure you are going to look stunning when you win your award.”

“Nate. I – ” Whatever she was about to say was cut off by the sound of a doorbell. “Shit. My stylist is here to drop off the dress.”

“I’ll let you go. Take care, Madison.” I already missed the sound of her voice and she hadn’t even hung up.

“You too. Keep your phone close. I’m going to call you to celebrate if I win.”

“Can’t wait.” Those weren’t the words I wanted to say. I love you was what waited just on the tip of my tongue. If she’d hung on for a few more seconds, she would have heard those words. Instead, they echoed in my well-stocked but lonely kitchen.

27

MADISON

Ilove you.

I had been so close to finally telling Nate what I had been thinking about telling him for weeks. Every time I was about to end a call with him, those words screamed inside my head.

The day of an award show was always chaotic. It started with a check to make sure that the dress was still a perfect fit. Then I took a shower where I scrubbed every inch of my body before applying a tinted lotion that made it look like my skin was glowing. My hair was dried straight and then formed into silky waves. My face was painted with a dozen different makeup products that accentuated my cheekbones, narrowed my nose, enlarged my eyes, and plumped my lips.

When the primping was over, I looked nothing like the innocent girl who had arrived in Crestwood Valley looking for an escape and finding the perfect man. If I ran into Nate looking like this, I wondered if he still would’ve been interested in me. I knew I looked good, but I also looked unapproachable. Fake. Not like the kind of woman Nate would want to take home to meet his family.

Kaylie rode in the limo with me on the way to the venue. She wasn’t technically my date, but she always accompanied me to events to make sure I knew what I was doing and didn’t embarrass myself too much. Even though she was there as my assistant, I always made sure she had a great dress and had my people do her hair and makeup, too.

“I’ll move you as quickly as I can down the red carpet,” she said as we pulled into the long line of limos waiting to drop off celebrities. “You should expect some annoying questions about Mason. Just ignore them.”

Easier said than done. I always felt defensive when I was asked personal questions, but I suppose it was better to be asked about my fake relationship with Mason rather than my real one with Nate. After the twins’ hockey game, a few pictures had circulated online of us looking cozy, but most people speculated it had just been a rebound situation. So far, Nate hadn’t been pulled into the toxicity of parasocial relationships.

“Is he here tonight?” I asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt. Even after so many years, I still wasn’t used to the attention.

“He’s been nominated for best single. I tried to get the inside scoop on the seating situation, but people were keeping a tight lid on it. Don’t be surprised if he is seated in your vicinity.”

I already expected that he would be. I knew that the producers would love flashing the cameras back and forth between us during the ceremony. I knew I would have to pretend to be happy for him if he won in his category, otherwise, pictures of me would circulate online with commentary about me being a bitter ex-girlfriend.

A man with an earpiece was waiting as I exited the vehicle. He waved for me to follow him, beelining straight for the red carpet. I could already see the flashing cameras and hear fans screaming.

“Keep walking,” Kaylie said, striding right alongside me. “It will be over before you know it.”

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