Page 82 of Long Hard Road

It was a good attempt to soothe my nerves. It didn’t work. I was sweating before I took my first step on the plush red carpet. Photographers were yelling for me to turn this way and that and journalists were begging for an interview. I plastered on a well-practiced smile and made sure to give my best angles to the cameras. When someone yelled out a question about Mason, I ignored them.

I made it inside the venue and felt some of the tension roll off my shoulders. That was the part I had been dreading most, but I wouldn’t completely relax until I was home. Another person with an earpiece guided me through the crowded lobby and into the arena that had been converted into the award space. We walked past rows and rows of seats and several people waved and greeted me. I gave them all polite smiles while pretending to be in a hurry to get somewhere. That somewhere happened to be my seat.

“Madi!” The deep baritone that called my name was instantly recognizable.

“Mason West.” The smile I flashed him was more of a grimace. With a camera focused on my arrival, I couldn’t greet him the way I would’ve preferred. “How are you?”

“Good.” He stepped close and had me wrapped in an embrace before I knew what was happening. His suit was a lush fabric and had certainly cost five figures. His cologne smelled rich and he’d applied too much of it. “You look beautiful, Mad.”

“Thanks. Nice suit.” I stepped back as soon as I thought it would be acceptable. “Congrats on your nomination. I hear you have a good shot of winning.”

“That’s what they tell me.” He flashed his obnoxiously white teeth. “Try not to be too upset if you won’t win, babe. No one is expecting you to take home an award.”

Hearing him call me babe made me feel ill. That wasn’t his name to call me. That name belonged to Nate. His insult only made matters worse. The truth was that I was highly favored to win album of the year and Mason was just pissed that his album hadn’t been nominated.

“Right, well…I really should find my seat.” I had been doing so well, but a slight roll of my eyes slipped out when he wished me good luck as I was walking away. He did it loud enough to be picked up by the cameras, unlike the negging comments he’d made only to me.

I ran into a couple of musicians who I had collaborated with in the past and spent a little time chatting with them before finding my seat. It was in the front row, as were the other favored nominees. I had just perched myself carefully in my chair to avoid getting wrinkles when the lights flashed, the universal warning that the show was about to start.

The opening act started playing and the stage lit up. Bodies slid into the seats on either side of me as I kept my eyes focused straight ahead, polite smile in place. It wasn’t until the host began his opening monologue that I spared glances to either side of me. On my right was the best-selling artist of the year and on my left was… fuck. Mason West.

For the next three hours, I had to sit next to the man who had said disgusting things to me anytime we were around each other. A man who had loved using me for clout when we were in a fake relationship and had never bothered to get to know me. Even worse, I couldn’t let it show on my face that I was miserable.

A few times during the ceremony, Mason leaned over and whispered random comments. I wanted to ignore him but I knew that if the camera saw that, I would look like I was being a bitch to him. Instead, I nodded and whispered vague replies. Around the halfway mark, Mason’s category was introduced.

I could feel him preening next to me as a camera was positioned right in front of us. It was focused on him, but I knew that I was also in the shot. I clapped for each of the nominees, including Mason, while internally hoping that he wouldn’t win. His ego was already too big.

The universe was not on my side and the presenter called Mason’s name. He let out a loud whoop and before I could start clapping, he leaned across the space between us and planted his lips on mine. I froze completely, eyes wide open with my hands awkwardly clasped together.

Mason jumped to his feet and hopped up the steps to the stage. The camera stayed on me so I forced a smile as Mason began his acceptance speech. I didn’t hear a word he said because all I could think about was Nate’s family gathered around the television in Tom’s house, watching in angry silence after witnessing that kiss. Anytime I started to think specifically about Nate, I forced away the thought. The last thing I needed was to start crying on national television.

Mason was gone for a while, doing interviews after his award acceptance. I enjoyed having a seat filler next to me because I knew the camera would stay away. I even considered hiding in the bathroom for the next hour to avoid Mason and the cameras as much as possible. Weirdly, thirty minutes later Mason still hadn’t returned. It shouldn’t have been that surprising. He had only been nominated for that one award and had most likely left and headed to the afterparties to get drunk.

I had finally started to relax when it was announced that we had reached the final award. My heart stuttered in my chest. I knew that I was supposed to look like I didn’t care if I won but damn it, I wanted to win. I had busted my ass on my last album and I knew it was good. My best album ever.

This time, I barely noticed the camera trained on me. I was holding my breath, waiting to see if my best was good enough. Then, the presenter said, “And the award for Album of the Year goes to… Madi Lee with Long Hard Road.”

I blinked twice and felt hands patting my back and arms. I had won.

My legs felt shaky when I stood and I walked slowly toward the stairs. The last thing I needed to do was take a spill in front of everyone. The presenter handed the award to me and I hefted the weight between my hands. As the applause gradually dwindled, I leaned toward the microphone and began the speech that Kaylie had forced me to memorize. She said that having a plan for what to say would make me less nervous. It didn’t work. I felt like my whole body was shaking.

As I started listing all the people I wanted to thank, I realized that I was actually listing the names of all the people who made money off me. People who pretended to care about me but mostly only cared about how I was going to make money for them. I had 90 seconds to make my speech and it felt like time stopped as I looked into the crowd of my peers, people who made millions of dollars and attended events just like this one to have people pat them on the back and tell them how amazing they were.

My life was absurd. It was pretentious and artificial. It was the opposite of everything I wanted from my life. I thought about that text I’d gotten in the limo on my way to the arena. It had been replaying in my head all night.

I should’ve told you this sooner, but I guess now is better than never. I love you, Madison. Good luck tonight. If you need someone to celebrate with after you win, you know where to find me. Just come home.

Nate had included a picture with his text. Two chairs sitting next to each other on his beautiful porch. Meadow and her kittens were climbing on them. The picture was about more than just two chairs. It was a promise of a future. Lazy Sunday mornings drinking coffee next to each other while we watched the sunrise. Warm summer nights on the porch, sipping beers while we talked about our days.

It was exactly the future I wanted.

I stopped my prepared speech and looked right into the camera. “This award is so special because it’s probably the last one I’ll ever win. I have new plans for my life that will take me far away from this world and I couldn’t be more excited. Nate, honey, I can’t wait to celebrate with you. I’ll be home soon.”

28

NATE

Ipicked lazily at the label on my beer as I stared at the vibrant streaks in the sky. Spring had officially arrived in the valley and the sunsets were breathtaking. Meadow was lying at my feet with two of her kittens. The third kitten was in my lap. I had spent every night out here for the last week, making a wish on every star that would slowly appear in the night sky.

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