Page 155 of Nocere

"I do. And I'll be so happy when you can look at me and tell me. When you're ready," I told her, as I had before. She nodded and pulled me to her in a tight hug.

"Can I tell you something that you might not want to hear?" I stroked her arms and she shook her head.

"No. I don't want to hear what I don't want to hear."

I laughed softly and she smiled against my neck. "I'm going to tell you anyway."

"Fine. But if I don't like it, I'm putting you over my knee and turning your already-pink rump a darker shade." She leaned back to scowl at me.

"That's not even a threat." I swatted her hip and she smirked. "Okay. Ready?"

She nodded and every inch of her tensed again.

"Sami, your mom was wonderfully kind to us. And she seemed welcoming to me and accepting of our relationship before your uncle got there. I also expected a wrinkly old woman ready to beat us with a cultural switch or something. Was she acting like her usual self today?"

"Yeah… she was normal. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that your mom doesn't seem to have an issue with you being gay, Sam. She wasn't wearing hijab either. I was super confused and expected something very different."

Her eyes searched my face as if waiting for me to elaborate. "What do you mean?"

"What I'm trying to say, is that I think that visiting your mother is a trauma trigger for you and the entire time that you're there, you're living in fear. How you feel about your mom has less to do with how she actually treats you and more to do with the emotions you experience while you're there. And your uncle showing up reinforces all the distorted scripts that trauma plays in our brains." I took a deep breath after, waiting for the backlash of disclosing my observation.

Sam didn't say anything, she just stared at me with her shimmering hazel eyes that stole portions of my soul.

"When I was little, and in the clutches of the men my mom sold me to, I would close my eyes and hope that she would come rescue me. That my mom would burst through the door and sweep me in her arms. She'd hold me and apologize and take me home to my own warm bed." I drew in a deep breath before continuing. "I didn't have a warm bed, Sam. And my mom was never going to do that."

"Rebecca saved you," she said, as she blinked away the thick tears that fell from her lashes.

"She did. She scooped me up and never let me go. It didn't undo what happened to me, but it made it better to know someone cared about me," I said, then gave her a tight squeeze. "I care about you. Let me scoop you up."

She dropped her head back down on the pillow, but her gaze never left mine. "You sound like Marita."

"Well, good thing. I learned it all from her girlfriend." I scrunched up my nose and she chuckled.

"I do love you, Rosie," she said, her confession leaving her in a single breath. My heart double-thumped in my chest and I smiled.

"I know, Sam. I love you, too." I brushed my lips against hers and she kissed me, her tongue poking between my lips as she rolled me on to my back again. "Are you distracting me from things you don't want to hear?"

"That obvious?" She smirked and I gave both of her nipple piercings a twist.

"Yes."

She bit her bottom lip and wiggled her way to lie between my legs. "Is it working?"

"Nope. Don't make me invoke the power word." I wagged my brows and she laughed.

"Rosie, no misusing the safe word." She wiggled against me and I laughed. "For as much as I adore hearing you talk so openly, my sweet, I don't think I can process anymore today."

"I understand that." I traced the curves of her collarbone. "Want to misuse your jacuzzi tub together?"

Sam chuckled and nodded before rolling off me. "C'mon. I've got some delicious edible bath oils to try as well."

"So naughty." I squeaked and held tightly to her as she tugged me off to the bathroom.

***

Sam and I spent most of the week in varied degrees of nakedness, with breaks for sustenance in between. In the days we spent together, we ordered takeout at least three times. By the time Saturday morning rolled around, however, the emotions of the week finally seemed to catch up to both of us. So much so that we both slept in until almost noon.

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