I turned over to find Sam with the pillow over her head while she curled up in a fetal position to sleep. I imagined that she often slept like this at work to drown out the noises of the hospital. I snuck under the pillow with her and kissed her nose. She smiled, but didn't open her eyes right away.
A rumbling from beside the bed startled me and I tugged the blanket tighter. "I think your phone is going off, honey."
"Argh," she grumbled, and reached blindly behind her to grab it. She brought it under the pillow with us and Stella's name flashed across the screen.
"What'd she say?"
"Something about Jordan's party tonight." She dropped the phone in the sheets. "Not going."
"No arguments. I'm supposed to see Anita today because of all the stress."
"I'll take you." Sam draped her arm over my middle and pulled me closer to her. I snuggled against her and she stroked my thigh from hip to knee. "Do you think I'm damaged?"
"A little. Do you think I'm damaged?" I brushed my lips over her chin.
"A little. You know, every day I go to work and I hold the fragile lives of people in my hands. I watch over them while they're most vulnerable." She met my gaze and I listened to the confessional that made it to her lips. "I see Stella in her emergency department hopping on top of gurneys, her hands wrist-deep in thoracic cavities. She saves a lot of people."
"A lot of people need saving," I said, my voice softer than intended.
"Primum non nocere," she said, her voice quieting for a moment.
"I wish the whole world lived by the do no harm motto. Sometimes it's like the world exists because of nocere."
"Harm," she said thoughtfully, then faded to quiet for a few minutes. "You were right last night about what you said." She used the tip of her finger to trace my lips.
"What did I say?"
"That I have some sort of wish for my mom to save me. Like you did." She let out a soft sigh and pushed the pillow off our heads. "How could she when she didn't know what happened? And still doesn't."
"Even then, baby, like Stella, the people she saves, bad things have already happened. She comes in afterward to fix up their wounds and their bodies. Rebecca came for me afterward, too." I placed my palm against her cheek and she kissed my thumb.
"I know." An exhale left her and she rolled on to her back. "All these years, I never thought about any of this. I could push it aside. Work. Whatever. And now, I can't stop thinking about it. It takes over everything."
"It was probably always there, Sami. Except now you can't block it out as easily."
"It's your fault for making me feel things." She lifted her chin and a thick, ripe pout curved her lips. It made me chuckle and I kissed it right off her face.
"Well then, you can spank me for it, but I, for one, have no regrets for making you feel things."
"And you sent me flowers. And made me love you." She let out a dramatic sigh. "I think that punishment calls for more than just a flogging."
I laughed at her silliness and she tickled my stomach. "Sam!"
"Naughty little fairy." She rolled on top of me and nibbled me all over my face and neck. "With purple socks."
I cracked up under her intense affections, and nearly fainted from delight when she pinned my arms above my head. She straddled my hips and her overheated core pressed against my pelvis. She smiled down at me, a surge of life returning to her. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders and tickled my face like a graceful brush of wind. I laced my fingers with hers and she squeezed my hands.
"Tell me what you want me to do to you," she demanded, her voice a husky drawl.
Heavy breaths left me as I writhed under her, my mind swirling with lust-driven possibilities. "Remember...remember the first time you sat over me?"
"I remember coming really hard." She grinned and flicked her tongue over my lips.
"I want you to do that to me again." A quiver raced up my center, and sent a warm rush between my thighs. "With your clit on my lips."
"I'm wrong about so many things, my sweet. But one thing I was right about was that you're a kinky little bottom."
"You're a kinky top." I released her hands and gripped her hips. "Sit on me before I come without tasting you."